And then my meditations took a less sombre turn. This often happens after a good lunch, even if you haven’t had a cocktail. I reminded myself that many married men positively enjoy being kept on their toes by the little woman, and possibly Ginger might be one of them. He might take the view that when the little w made him sit up and beg and snap lumps of sugar off his nose, it was a compliment really, because it showed that she was taking an interest.
Feeling a bit more cheerful, I reached for my cigarette case and was just going to open it, when like an ass I dropped it and it fell into the road. And as So I stepped from the pavement to retrieve it there was a sudden tooting in my rear, and whirling on my axis I perceived that in about another two ticks I was going to be rammed amidships by a taxi.
The trouble about whirling on your axis, in case you didn’t know, is that you’re liable, if not an adagio dancer, to trip over your feet, and this was what I proceeded to do. My left shoe got all mixed up with my right ankle, I tottered, swayed, and after a brief pause came down like some noble tree beneath the woodman’s axe, and I was sitting there lost in a maze of numbing thoughts, when an unseen hand attached itself to my arm and jerked me back to safety. The taxi went on and turned the corner.
Well, of course the first thing the man of sensibility does on these occasions is to thank his brave preserver. I turned to do this, and blow me tight if the b.p. wasn’t Jeeves. Came as a complete surprise. I couldn’t think what he was doing there, and for an instant the idea occurred to me that this might be his astral body.
‘Jeeves ! ‘ I ejaculated. I’m pretty sure that’s the word. Anyway, I’ll risk it.
‘Good afternoon, sir. I trust you are not too discommoded. That was a somewhat narrow squeak.’
‘It was indeed. I don’t say my whole life’passed before me, but a considerable chunk of it did. But for you-‘
‘Not at all, sir.’
‘Yes, you and you only saved me from appearing in tomorrow’s obituary column.’
‘A pleasure, sir.’
‘It’s amazing how you always turn up at the crucial moment, like the United States Marines. I remember how you did when A. B. Filmer and I were having our altercation with that swan, and there were other occasions too numerous to mention. Well, you will certainly get a rave notice in my prayers next time I make them. But how do you happen to be in these parts? Where are we, by the way?’
‘This is Curzon Street, sir.’
‘Of course. I’d have known that if I hadn’t been musing.’
‘You were musing, sir?’
‘Deeply. I’ll tell you about it later. This is where your club is, isn’t it?
‘ ‘Yes, sir, just round the corner. In your absence and having completed the packing, I decided to lunch there.’
‘Thank heaven you did. If you hadn’t, I’d have been -what’s that gag of yours? Something about wheels.’
‘Less than the dust beneath thy chariot wheels, sir.’
‘Or, rather, the cabby’s chariot wheels. Why are you looking at me with such a searching eye, Jeeves?’
‘I was thinking that your misadventure had left you somewhat dishevelled, sir. If I might suggest it, I think we should repair to the Junior Ganymede now.’
‘I see what you mean. You would give me a wash and brush-up?’
‘Just so, sir.
‘ ‘And perhaps a whisky and soda?’
‘Certainly sir.’
‘I need one sorely. Ginger’s practically on the wagon, so there were no cocktails before lunch. And do you know why he’s practically on the wagon? Because the girl he’s engaged to has made him take that foolish step. And do you know who the girl he’s engaged to is? My cousin Florence Craye.’
‘Indeed, sir?’ Well, I hadn’t expected him to roll his eyes and leap about, because he never does no matter how sensational the news item, but I could see by the way one of his eyebrows twitched and rose perhaps an eighth of an inch that I had interested him. And there was what is called a wealth of meaning in that ‘Indeed, sir?’. He was conveying his opinion that this was a bit of luck for Bertram, because a girl you have once been engaged to is always a lurking menace till she gets engaged. to someone else and so cannot decide at any moment to play a return date. I got the message and thoroughly agreed with him, though naturally I didn’t say so.