‘Had bad news, has she?’
‘No, sir, she was struck by a turnip.’
‘Where?’
‘In the lower ribs, sir.’
‘I mean where did this happen?’
‘At the Town Hall, sir, in the later stages of the debate.’
I drew in the breath sharply. More and more I was beginning to realize that the meeting I had missed had been marked by passions which recalled the worst excesses of the French revolution.
‘I myself, sir, narrowly escaped being hit by a tomato. It whizzed past my ear.’
‘You shock me profoundly, Seppings. I don’t wonder you’re pale and trembling.’
And indeed he was, like a badly set blancmange.
‘What caused all this turmoil? ‘
‘Mr. Winship’s speech, sir.’
This surprised me. I could readily believe that any speech of Ginger’s would be well below the mark set by Demosthenes, if that really was the fellow’s name, but surely not so supremely lousy as to start his audience throwing eggs and vegetables; and I was about to institute further enquiries, when Seppings sidled to the door, saying that he would inform Mr. Jeeves of my desire to confer with him. And in due season the hour produced the man, as the expression is.
‘You wished to see me, sir?’ he said.
‘You can put it even stronger, Jelves. I yearned to see you.’
‘Indeed, sir ? ‘
‘Just now I met Ginger in the drive.’
‘Yes, sir, he informed me that he was going there to await your return.’
‘He tells me he is no longer betrothed to Miss Craye, being now affianced to Miss Glendennon. And when I asked him how this switch had come about, he said that you would explain.’
‘I shall be glad to do so, sir. You wish a complete report?’
‘That’s right. Omit no detail, however slight.’
He was silent for a space. Marshalling his thoughts, no doubt. Then he got down to it.
‘The importance attached by the electorate to the debate,’ he began, ‘was very evident. An audience of considerable size had assembled in the Town Hall. The Mayor and Corporation were there, together with the flower of Market Snodsbury’s aristocracy and a rougher element in cloth caps and turtleneck sweaters who should never have been admitted.’
I had to rebuke him at this point.
‘Bit snobbish, that, Jeeves, what? You are a little too inclined to judge people by their clothes. Turtle-neck sweaters are royal raiment when they’re worn for virtue’s sake, and a cloth cap may hide an honest heart. Probably frightfully good chaps, if one had got to know them.’
‘I would prefer not to know them, sir. It was they who subsequently threw eggs, potatoes, tomatoes and turnips.’
I had to concede that he had a point there.
‘True,’ I said. ‘I was forgetting that. All right, Jeeves. Carry on.’
‘The proceedings opened with a rendering of the national anthem by the boys and girls of Market Snodsbury elementary school.’
‘Pretty ghastly, I imagine?’
‘Somewhat revolting, sir.’
‘And then?’
‘The Mayor made a short address, introducing the contestants, and Mrs McCorkadale rose to speak. She was wearing a smart coat in fine quality repp over a long-sleeved frock of figured Marocain pleated at the sides and finished at the neck with —‘
‘Skip all that, Jeeves.’
‘I am sorry, sir. I thought you wished every detail, however slight.’ ‘Only when they’re… what’s the word?’
‘Pertinent, sir?’
‘That’s right. Take the McCorkadale’s outer crust as read. How was her speech?’
‘Extremely telling, in spite of a good deal of heckling.’
‘That wouldn’t put her off her stroke.’
‘No, sir. She impressed me as being of a singularly forceful character.’
‘Me, too.’
‘You have met the lady, sir?’
‘For a few minutes, – which, however, were plenty. She spoke at some length?’
‘Yes, sir. If you would care to read her remarks? I took down both speeches in shorthand.’
‘Later on, perhaps.’
‘At any time that suits you, sir.’
‘And how was the applause? Hearty? Or sporadic?’
‘On one side of the hall extremely hearty. The rougher element appeared to be composed in almost equal parts of her supporters and those of Mr. Winship. They had been seated at opposite sides of the auditorium, no doubt by design. Her supporters cheered, Mr. Winship’s booed.’