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Pyramid Scheme by Dave Freer and Eric Flint

“I’ll eat you too, dwarf.” Amemait’s voice was chill. From the corner of his eye, Jerry saw Liz start fumbling hastily in her bag.

Bes chuckled. “I daresay you’ll try.”

“Ha. The New Order doesn’t want you. Your time is over, Bes! I will devour soul after soul after soul in the new rule. Already Sekmet readies herself to drink the blood of men. The Krim does not want that feeble do-gooder Osiris and that empty-headed wife of his. I’ve been promised Maat for my pleasure too.”

Bes shrugged. “I should have known you’d accept the lures of that thing. But you’ve still got me to deal with, snaggletooth.”

“That will be easy enough, midget.” Amemait opened his huge crocodile jaw and began to advance. But it was obvious that, despite the big talk, the devourer was more than a little wary of the small, potbellied, bandy dwarf.

Jerry whispered to Liz: “Try this . . . ”

Hastily Liz repeated the cantrip.

“Amon cause thy nostrils to clog,

“By Bichon, Suramp and the god of the North.

“By Net, thy throat be dry.

“The serpent Apep coil and roil in that stomach

“Whose secret name is gastroenteritis

“Hapi and his servants Ecoli, Streptococcus and . . .”

* * *

Amemait snorted, belched, and retreated. Bes peered into the darkness after him. “He’ll be back, loaded with amulets of protection against spells. Well, foreigners. We will have to act together. The greatest danger lies in the jaws and that tail.”

“I’ve got a bit of practical experience with this,” said Liz. “If Amemait’s is a typical crocodile jaw, the opening muscles are weak. The strength lies in the muscles that close. Prizing the jaws open is nearly impossible. But I’ve held a small croc’s mouth shut with one hand. If we can get it closed, we should be able to keep it closed.”

Bes changed his grin to a wry one, briefly. “There are the lion’s claws and the strength of the hippopotamus too. His hide is too thick for spears, or for my dagger. His eyes and the inside of his mouth are the only vulnerable spots.”

“I think I can blind him.” Liz held up what she’d apparently been rummaging for: an atomizer. “At least temporarily. The base of my cologne seems to have stayed as high-proof alcohol. It’s not stuff you want to get in your eyes.”

Cruz raised his nunchaku. “How thick is its skull? If I can get close enough . . . ”

Bes grinned broadly. “A man after my own heart! You shall have your try. I will seize the mouth as this fine bully woman sprays its eyes. The rest of you must seize the legs. You can pound its brain with that flail of yours. Hist. Here the monster comes!”

* * *

It was a miracle that the monster could move at all. The legs clanked with amulets. There must have been a hundred to each leg. The coarse mane now billowed onto a collar of strips of faïence, emerald and turquoise which would have stopped a spear thrust, never mind a spell. The slit-pupil eyes gleamed golden . . . Until Liz sprayed alcohol-based perfume into them. Amemait gave a furious spitting roar and clawed at his eyes. Bes, choosing his moment, grabbed the snout. Flung himself around it, arms and legs.

Jerry nearly missed his dive at the amulet-behung foreleg. Then he thanked heaven for the brass bracelets, for providing handholds. Amemait was incredibly strong. Mac clung to the hind leg along with Medea. Henri made a slightly more substantial anchor on the other foreleg and Liz had joined Lamont on the other hindleg. Jerry knew he was the weak link. He just wasn’t heavy enough. He barely managed to restrain the claws from Bes, wrapped like a grinning monkey around the jaw. The sound of Cruz’s hammer blows with the nunchaku was like thunder. But Amemait with pure hippo strength was managing to head for the wall. The monster obviously intended to rub them off, like ticks against a branch.

* * *

The one stave of the nunchaku splintered with the blow. Fuck! Stupid thing worked better in theory than in practice. Wouldn’t the monster go down? He was going to be trapped against the wall in a minute. Out of the corner of his eye Anibal saw a leg, with Doc clinging like a leech, rake backward and brush a claw tip across Medea. He dropped the splintered nunchaku and seized an enormous calcite lamp from a wall sconce. It must have weighed easily a hundred and fifty pounds. Adrenaline-loaded, he snatched it cleanly above his head and brought it down, pointed corner first, on Amemait’s skull.

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Categories: Eric, Flint
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