Pyramid Scheme by Dave Freer and Eric Flint

Cerberus gradually subsided into a catatonic state of bliss, grunting occasionally. “A bit more to the left . . . ooh.”

“We must get someone to sweep around here . . . ”

“The fleas sound worse than humans, the way they breed.”

Liz went right on scratching with both hands while gesturing furiously with her head for the rest of them to go.

* * *

Halfway back to the ship and they could still hear the angry baying of the tricked Cerberus.

“Mademoiselle. That was très magnifique.” Henri made her an elegant Gallic bow, when the panting Liz joined them.

“Yes, Sir!” said McKenna. “That was slick.”

She beamed. “It was nothing, really. It’s just a pity that we didn’t succeed in getting home.”

“Well, at least we learned something,” said Lamont.

“Yes,” agreed Jerry forcefully. “We have learned that the gods, or at least Hermes, are out to kill or capture us. That something weird is happening here—wherever ‘here’ is—involving the myths themselves.” He frowned. “As if something long moribund was being brought back to life, but all jumbled up.”

“And,” said Henri, cheerfully, “I have also some interesting botanical material which will make for a wonderful publication if I can get back to civilization, although I could probably manage in America.”

“Jeez, you’re an arrogant French prick,” snapped McKenna, when this had sunk in.

Henri twitched his mustachios. “At least I have something to be arrogant about.”

“I’ll—”

“Will you two stop snapping at each other?” snapped Liz. “We want to get back to where we left Odysseus and see if he’s abandoned us here.”

“And then we can do some thinking about where we should go next,” said Lamont in a depressed tone. “I really hoped we’d find some way out of here.”

Medea pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Persephone mentioned the land of Egypt. And pyramids. I have been told that those are a feature of that land.”

“We’re chasing straws,” said Jerry in a flat voice. “But we’ve got to try. Oh, well. If Ody’s there we’ll go for a quick trip to see the pyramids.”

* * *

There was something to be said for landing on a full tide. By the time Odysseus and his crew had talked themselves into sneaking away . . . they’d had to wait for the tide to turn, in order to launch. Even if they’d done the long portage to the water, there was still the river bar of the Acheron. So the modern folk returned to find the ship nearly floating.

“We heard you coming, and wished to be ready,” said Odysseus. He projected all the integrity at his command. Lamont muttered something about used car salesmen.

Jerry was just too keen to be away and to see the sun again to argue—or to even to tell the ass what he thought of his lies. They just climbed on board and slept in the bow, as the black ship made its way back across the river ocean to the Enchanted Isle.

Odysseus woke them when Aeaea was again in sight.

Jerry shook his head. Oh, for coffee! “Provisions, and then we’re away.”

“And I must say farewell to my children for a while,” said Medea in a subdued tone.

“Where will we sail to next? Will my oath have fulfillment then?” Odysseus enquired.

“Egypt, Odysseus. And maybe.”

26

Wind instruments,

percussion and strings . . .

Their stay in Aeaea lasted only a day. Just long enough to take on provisions for the voyage to Egypt. On the morning after their departure, Odysseus came forward, wringing his hands.

“Alas, good Americans. If I am to go to Egypt I will need more wind.”

“Wind is the one thing you’re not short of, Ody,” sneered Liz.

Odysseus’ face registered protest at misunderstanding. The more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger expression, thought Jerry, was about as convincing as it would have been coming from a wolf.

“We do not have enough food or water for such a journey without favorable winds.” Odysseus pointed somewhere in the distance. “But help is at hand. Yonder lies the Isle of Aeolus, keeper of winds. He is a generous man. He will help us.”

* * *