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Pyramid Scheme by Dave Freer and Eric Flint

“We need rest and food and a decent chance to enjoy these slaves that the gods have surely provided for our pleasure. To Hades with Circe’s predictions, Odysseus! She didn’t tell us about the monster. Or if she did, then you didn’t tell us about it. I want first turn on the yellow-haired peasant woman. And we’re drawing lots for who gets the pretty red-haired boy. We know you, Odysseus. You want to get back to Ithaca to claim the whole lot as your share of the plunder.”

The wind veered and Jerry had to stop his eavesdropping. But the snatch he’d overheard was enough to remind him that Mycenaean Greece was a good place to avoid. Mind you—that certainly wasn’t the language of Mycenae they were speaking. It was classical Greek from later up the timeline, unless he was very much mistaken. But then this place was full of contradictions and impossibilities.

He forced his mind away from the attraction of playing with the puzzle. Whatever the answer, it didn’t alter the fact that they had a very real problem here and now. He desperately wished that someone else would cope with it. But there was the language issue. He was the only one who could understand what was being said.

He turned to the woman. She’d been terrifyingly effective against Scylla. “Look, we’ve got to get away from these guys.”

She picked something off her long, tanned calf and crushed it between short fingernails. Inspecting them, she pulled a face and said: “Yep. This smelly tub is crawling with damn fleas.”

He took a deep breath. “Fleas may be the least of our problems. What do you know about ancient Greeks?”

She shrugged. “Not much. I’m a marine biologist, little guy. They were the source of western civilization. The founders of democracy. Can’t be too bad, I suppose. Not compared to some of the other places back in time we could have landed up in.”

Later he realized that he got the courage to continue principally from sheer irritation. She could skip the “little guy” stuff. He was as tall as she was. She just added an extra six inches of attitude. “One: We’re not back in time . . . I don’t think. These guys appear to be Mycenaeans or, as they called themselves, Achaeans—not Greeks, really. But they’re speaking the language of a different people from later up the timeline. Two: Democracy happened much later. Anyway, it excluded women and slaves,” he said grimly. “And you’re both. At least as far as they’re concerned.”

She stared at him, silenced.

Lamont had been listening in. “Slaves. Oh, lord. Not me.”

Liz shut her mouth with a snap. “Well, fuck me . . . ”

“That’s just what they intend to do, as soon as they get to land,” said Jerry quietly. “And if I heard them right they’re busy drawing lots for the corporal, too.”

The expression on Jim McKenna’s face was worth buying a video camera for.

* * *

“Instead of being gifts from the gods, can’t we be messengers? I mean, if I remember correctly, Odysseus is a prince and a great general,” said Salinas shakily, having emerged from under the rowing bench, but still looking green about the gills. “Explain to them the serious consequences of attempting to enslave Americans, Dr. Lukacs.”

Liz snorted. “But I’m fair game. Listen, you spineless asshole: somehow I don’t think they live in fear of air strikes. We don’t have any modern weapons that work and they outnumber us ten to one.” She went on rummaging through her bag. So far she’d found a Swiss army knife. It wasn’t what it should be. It was rusty.

“I’ll beat the living shit out of the first one of those little fucks to try anything!” McKenna was still red-faced. “They’re half our size. And sure, our rifles are no use, but we’ve got bayonets. I’ve got my Gerber. And we’re trained in unarmed combat. They’re not.”

Sergeant Cruz tensed his forearm muscles. “Corporal. If we’ve got to fight, we will. But we’re soldiers. One-on-one, in a fair fight, we’d win. We’re bigger than them and we’re trained. But did you see how that guy killed Hooper? Like you would swat a fly. Get this: Those guys are goddamn killers. Even in Mogadishu they’ve got more respect for human life. And you can be damn sure they’re not gonna stand back while we kill them off one at a time. Either they’ll pack us, or, more likely, hold off and shoot us full of arrows or throw javelins at us.”

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Categories: Eric, Flint
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