Here I paused, for she had asked me rather brusquely to put a sock in it.
‘Stop babbling, you ghastly young gas-bag. What’s all this silver-tongued-orator stuff about?’
‘I was merely expressing my regret that you should have been subjected -‘
‘Well, don’t. There’s no need to apologize. I couldn’t be more pleased. I admit that I’m always happier when I don’t have Spink-Bottle breathing down the back of my neck and taking up space in the house which I require for other purposes, but the girl was as welcome as manna in the wilderness.’
Having won that prize for Scripture Knowledge I was speaking of, I had no difficulty in grasping her allusion. She was referring to an incident which occurred when the children of Israel were crossing some desert or other and were sorely in need of refreshment, rations being on the slender side. And they were just saying to one another how well a spot of manna would go down and regretting that there was none in the quartermaster’s stores, when blowed if a whole wad of the stuff didn’t descend from the skies, just making their day.
Her words had of course surprised me somewhat, and I asked her why Emerald Stoker had been as welcome as manna in the w.
‘Because her arrival brought sunshine into a stricken home. There couldn’t have been a smoother piece of timing. You didn’t see Anatole when you were over here this afternoon, did you?’
‘No. Why?’
‘I was wondering if you had noticed anything wrong with him. Shortly after you left he developed a mal au foie or whatever he called it and took to his bed.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘So was Tom. He was looking forward gloomily to a dinner cooked by the kitchen maid, who, though a girl of many sterling merits, always adopts the scorched earth policy when preparing a meal, and you know what his digestion’s like. Conditions looked dark, and then Spink-Bottle suddenly revealed that this Pekinese of his was an experienced chef, and she’s taken over. Who is she? Do you know anything about her?’
I was, of course, able to supply the desired information.
‘She’s the daughter of a well-to-do American millionaire called Stoker, who, I imagine, will be full of strange oaths when he hears she’s married Gussie, the latter being, as you will concede, not everybody’s cup of tea.’
‘So he isn’t going to marry Madeline Bassett?’
‘No, the fixture has been scratched.’
‘That’s definite, is it?’
‘Yes.’
‘You can’t have been much success as a raisonneur.’
‘No.’
‘Well, I think she’ll make Spink-Bottle a good wife. Seems a very nice girl.’
‘Few better.’
‘But this leaves you in rather a spot, doesn’t it? If Madeline Bassett is now at large, won’t she expect you to fill in?’
‘That, aged relative, is the fear that haunts me.’
‘Has Jeeves nothing to suggest?’
‘He says he hasn’t. But I’ve known him on previous occasions to be temporarily baffled and then suddenly to wave his magic wand and fix everything up. So I haven’t entirely lost hope.’
‘No, I expect you’ll wriggle out of it somehow, as you always do. I wish I had a fiver for every time you’ve been within a step of the altar rails and have managed to escape unscathed. I remember you telling me once that you had faith in your star.’
‘Quite. Still, it’s no good trying to pretend that peril doesn’t loom. It looms like the dickens. The corner in which I find myself is tight.’
‘And you would like to get that way, too, I suppose? All right, you can get back to your orgy when I’ve told you why I rang you up.’
‘Haven’t you?’ I said, surprised.
‘Certainly not. You don’t catch me wasting time and money chatting with you about your amours. Here is the nub. You know that black amber thing of Bassett’s?’
‘The statuette? Of course.’
‘I want to buy it for Tom. I’ve come into a bit of money. The reason I went to London today was to see my lawyer about a legacy someone’s left me. Old school friend, if that’s of any interest to you. It works out at about a couple of thousand quid, and I want you to get that statuette for me.’