The Dark Design by Phillip Jose Farmer

It was then she realized that he had not asked her to describe her experience. If he had been curious, he had managed not to show it. Perhaps he had felt that she would have volunteered if she had wanted to share the details with him. He was a very sensitive man, very perceptive.

What did that horrifying attack by Jack mean? That she was afraid of him, of men in general? Of the male sex? Of sex itself when in male form? She could not believe that. But the illusion? delusion? visitation? had revealed certain feelings of hate and destruction. Not just for men in general and for Jack in particular. She had set him afire but she had also burned and raped herself-in a sense. Which made no sense. She certainly did not subconsciously wish to be raped. Only a mentally sick woman would desire that.

Did she hate herself? The answer was, yes, at times. But who didn’t?

Some time later, she sank into an uneasy sleep. Once, she dreamed of Cyrano deBergerac. They were fencing with epees. The circling point of his blade dazzled her, and then her weapon was knocked up and his leaped in and its point sank deep into her navel. She looked down in surprise at the blade as it withdrew, but the navel did not spout blood. Instead, it swelled and thickened and then a tiny dagger issued from the tumor.

18

The shock of cold water fully awoke Burton. for a minute, he was completely beneath the surface, and he did not know which way was up in the darkness.

There was only one way to find out. After five strokes, he felt the pressure on his eardrums increasing. Reversing position, he swam in what he hoped was the opposite direction. For all he knew, he was moving horizontally. But the pressure eased, and just as he feared he could not possibly hold his breath anymore, he broke the surface.

At the same time, something rammed into the back of his head, knocking him half-senseless again. His flailing hand hit an object and he grabbed it. Though he could see nothing in the mists, he could feel the thing that was holding him up. A massive log.

Bedlam was around him, screams, shouts, someone nearby cal­ling for help. He released his hold as soon as he had regained all his senses and swam toward the woman crying for aid. As he neared her, he realized that it was Loghu’s voice. A few strokes brought him to her, close enough to see her face dimly.

“Take it easy,” he said. “It’s me, Dick!”

Loghu seized him by the shoulders, and they both went down. He fought her, pushed her away, then grabbed her from behind.

Loghu said something in her native Tokharian. He answered her in the same tongue.

“Don’t panic. We’ll be all right.”

Longhu, gasping, said, “I’ve got hold of something. I won’t sink.”

He released her and reached around her. Another log. The colli­sion must have torn some of the forward logs loose. But where was the boat and where was the raft? And where were Loghu and he?

It seemed probable that they had fallen into the gap made when the lashings of the logs of the raft had been torn loose. But the current would by now surely have carried the intact part against the rock, crushing everything between it and the rock. Had they been carried around the corner of the spire and were now drifting with the current?

If so, they were in a tangle of logs and pieces from the boat. They kept bumping against him and Loghu.

She moaned and said, “I think my leg’s broken, Dick. It hurts so.”

The log to which they were clinging was very thick and long, its ends so distant they could not be seen through the fog. They had to dig into the rough bark with their fingers. It would not be long before they would lose their grip.

Suddenly Monat’s voice tore through the greyness.

“Dick! Loghu! Are you out there?”

Burton shouted, and a moment later something rapped along the log. It struck his fingers, causing him to yell with pain and to slip back into the water. He struggled back up, and then the end of a pole shot like a striking snake in ambush from the fog. It grazed his left cheek. A little to the right and it would have stunned him, perhaps broken his skull.