The High-Tech Knight – Book 2 of the Adventures of Conrad Starguard by Leo Frankowski

Once he was something like normal again, he wheezed, “Sir Conrad. Do your people actually drink that?”

“Well, something like it. I think it needs aging.”

“God in heaven, but yours must be a tough people.”

“Not really,” I said. I held the lip of my goblet to the lamp on the table. The dregs burned vigorously and that meant that it was over fifty percent alcohol.

Tadeusz stared aghast at the burning drink, shook his head and walked away.

It took the cook over a month to process the entire six thousand gallons of bad beer. In the end, we had six hundred gallons of white lightning (I couldn’t in justice call this stuff whiskey), which was stored in oak barrels in the inn’s basement. On rare occasions, some adventurous buck would ask for a mug of it, but I don’t think anybody asked twice. I kept a bottle for use as an antiseptic for my medical kit.

Part of my deal with my liege lord Count Lambert was that I was to return to Okoitz once a month to oversee the construction we had going on there. The first month was up and I had to go.

The problem was that the girls naturally wanted to go along and pay a visit to their families and friends. The count had given me the girls, and probably my lands as well, because they had started imitating the manners of the nobility rather than acting like dumb peasants. He ‘felt that it was all my fault and maybe it was.

But he wanted them out of Okoitz before everybody started acting uppity. To bring the girls back would not have been wise. But the girls didn’t know that they had been thrown out of their home and I didn’t have the heart to tell them.

To make matters worse, Sir Vladimir insisted on coming with me. I had no right to tell him what he could do or not do, and I didn’t want to offend the guy. I liked him and I could see where he could be very useful in the future.

Finally, Sir Gregor came to my rescue by suggesting that he and his brothers take the girls on a hunt on my new land before I “ruined” it with a lot of buildings. It only took an hour to talk the girls into it. I mean, I might be the girls’ protector, but I wasn’t their chaperon. They knew the score. It wasn’t as if they were virgins.

FROM THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SIR VLADIMIR CHARNETSKI

Sir Conrad and I arrived at Okoitz to find Vitold, Count Lambert’s carpenter, installing the sails on the windmill that was being constructed in the bailey.

This windmill was a huge affair and the top of the turret was higher than the roof of the church. The blades went much higher and the topmost of the twelve was so tall that I think one could stack ten peasant huts one above another and not reach the height of it.

The windmill was surrounded by a circular workshed and it was on the roof of this that the carpenter worked. Count Lambert and six of his knights were also on the roof watching. Perforce, we climbed up to join them.

“Greetings, Sir Conrad,” Count Lambert said. “I see that you have brought the excellent Sir Vladimir with you. You see? It’s nearly done.”

“There’s been more progress that I had expected, my lord,” Sir Conrad said.

“My people have worked at little else since they finished spring planting. I’ll wager that you think better of them now than you did at the Christmas party.”

“No bet, my lord. Not on that subject anyway.”

“Yes, there is our wager as to whether or not this mill will work, isn’t there? Twenty-three thousand pence, wasn’t it? It seems you’re gaining on me.”

“We’ll know soon, my lord. The mill looks about done,” Sir Conrad said.

“Only on the outside, my lords,” Vitold said. “I don’t have the pumps and cams all hooked up yet inside and she’s got to be way out of balance.”

The last of the sails was on and the great wheel started turning slowly in the breeze.

“You haven’t painted the sails with linseed oil the way you were supposed to,” Sir Conrad said. “The sails will draw much better if they’re not porous.”

“We’ve ordered some linseed oil out of Wroclaw, Sir Conrad, but it hasn’t come yet. I just wanted to see how the axle shaft turned before I got to work on the pumps.”

“Then I guess you’ve learned what you wanted to know. It seems to turn easily enough. Like you said, the balance is way off, but you’ll have to wait until the pumps are on before you can work on that. Also, I think that the set of the sails could be improved, but that’s the last thing you’ll want to play with. I guess you can stop it now.”

“Now that’s something I wanted to talk to you about, Sir Conrad. I understand how to make it go, but you never said anything about how to make it stop.”

“What? To stop it?” Count Lambert said. “There’s naught to that! Watch!”

I fear that my Count Lambert had scant experience with the vast power of that huge wheel. He put his arm around the next blade as it came slowly by and attempted to bring it to a halt. The vast wheel heeded his efforts not at all, but continued around.

The count, unused to any disobedience, clung on and was soon swept off the roof of the shed.

Still clutching the windmill blade as it began to rise, he shouted, “You men! Help! Attend me!”

Sir Bodan said, “Right, my lord!” and grabbed onto the next blade as it went by.

Sir Stefan took the blade after and what was I to do? My father’s liege lord had bid my attendance in time of his peril. And peril it was indeed, for Count Lambert had now risen halfway to the top and was as high as the church roof with naught but air between him and the ground. Could I show the white feather at such a time.?

For the honor of my family, I grabbed the next blade.

With a force that could not have been matched by a team of eight oxen, the great blade lifted me off the roof. I soon found that I could stand on the ropes that held the bottom of the sails and so for a short while was not greatly discomfited.

The other four knights followed those already on the wheel, leaving only Sir Conrad and Vitold on the roof of the shed. By this time, I had risen more than halfway up and my head was lower than my feet. Count Lambert was at the top, completely upside down, saving his life by clutching the blade with arms and legs. I imitated his posture.

Perhaps due to the weight of the men on one side, the wheel was slowing noticeably. As luck would have it, it stopped just when I was hanging upside down at the top.

I did not like it.

I could hear and see everything with that crystal clarity which comes with great danger. Far below, I could hear Sir Conrad and Vitold talking.

“The sails were supposed to be held on with slip knots, like you use on shoelaces,” Sir Conrad said. “Then you could stop the mill by pulling the cords as the blades went by.”

“I must’ve missed that part. We didn’t use no slip knots,” Vitold replied. “I know! We can cut the ropes!”

“It’s a little late for that. We have to get these men down. It would probably be best to push it all the way around. That will get Count Lambert off quickest. Get those men up here on the roof.”

The whole population of Okoitz had gathered to watch the first turning of the mill, and I heard them shouting to us. Some were praying to God in heaven for our deliverance and some offered bad advice as what would be the best thing to do. No few of them were making wagers on which of us would fall first. The odds of my survival were the lowest of the lot.

But they were all on the ground and it took some time to get them on the roof.

Time was just what I could not spare, for my case was worse than that of the other knights. Not only was I the most vertically oriented, but they were dressed in ordinary clothes where I was just in from the trail and was perforce still in chain mail.

My helmet slipped from my head and fell for a horribly long time before bouncing off the roof of the shed, narrowly missing Sir Conrad. I’d almost killed the man I’d sworn to protect.

Worse, the blade I was clutching was of fresh pine and smoothly planed. I began slipping downward, head first. Count Lambert saw me and called to me to hold tight, but I was already holding with all my might and there was nothing more that I could do to obey him. I continued downward.

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