The High-Tech Knight – Book 2 of the Adventures of Conrad Starguard by Leo Frankowski

As we went to supper Count Lambert said, “All the tables are the same height. Which is for us?”

“They’re a convenient height for eating, my lord. It is my custom here that all should eat the same food, and off the same tables. It’s handy. I often tell my men at dinner what they will be doing the next day. I find that they work better if they’ve had time to think it out. As to where you should eat, well, eat wherever the lion sleeps.”

“And where does the lion sleep?”

“Anywhere he wants to, my lord. Who would argue with a lion?”

That got a laugh, and Count Lambert settled into a side table. One of the joys of the thirteenth century was that the oldest, tiredest jokes were fresh leg-slappers.

The usual thirteenth-century dinner table was wide enough for only one person. People sat on one side and the servants walked on the other. My tables were the twentieth century norm, and there were no servants at Three Walls.

Krystyana hadn’t thought to assign anyone to pretend they were servants, and Natalia’s band of hopefuls was out scrubbing down and making themselves presentable.

We normally ate cafeteria- style, with attendants at the meat, beer, and anything-expensive counters, and help yourself at everything else. Now the workers were going through the line and some were eating, while my liege lord was waiting to be served.

I didn’t know how to solve the problem, so I asked my boss. “My lord, may I ask you to clear up a point of courtesy? If the customs of a vassal are different from the customs of his liege lord, whose customs should be followed?”

“That depends on where they are, Sir Conrad. At the liege lord’s manor, the vassal should punctiliously follow the customs of his lord. When on the vassal’s estates, the liege lord should follow his vassal’s customs unless these are offensive to him. In that case, the lord should so inform the vassal, and the vassal should in courtesy do as his liege lord wishes, at least while the liege lord is around.”

“Thank you, my lord. You see, in my land we do not have servants except at an inn. I am not used to having personal servants, and prefer to do without them. What I am trying to say is that I don’t have anybody trained to serve you properly. Would you be offended if I asked you to get your own food, as I normally do? Or shall I ask some of the ladies to serve us, even though they’ll probably botch the job – ”

“I was wondering when you were going to offer us something to eat! I can’t see where a walk across the room will hurt me or mine in the least.” We took cuts at the head of the chow line, of course. Rank hath some privileges, even at Three Walls.

Back at the table, Count Lambert said, “So you always eat the same food as your peasants?”

“That is my custom, my lord.”

“Remarkable. And you always feed them this good?”

“I’m afraid not. We usually have one meat dish at supper, and none at dinner. It is unusual for us to have ham, venison, and bison at the same meal. Krystyana is in charge of our kitchen and I suspect that, in your honor, she cooked all the meat we had.”

“We’re not at all self-sufficient in food here, and about the only meat we get is what the hunters bring in. I plan to bring sheep to these hills, but that’s a long-term project.”

“You’ll find ewes to be very cheap. To increase my supply of raw wool for my mills, I have forbidden the slaughter of any ewe less than ten years old, or the selling of them outside my lands. Many are complaining that they cannot possibly feed them through the winter, but I’m not going to relent. If they have to find a way, they will.”

“Perhaps I can help, my lord. For three months, I’ve had a small flock of sheep eating nothing but fresh pine needles. It’s not their favorite food, but none of them have starved.”

“Interesting, but it must be a great deal of work, cutting that many branches.”

“Less than you’d think, my lord. You have to cut the tops off trees to fell the really big ones. I plan to keep my four topmen going all winter, and I calculate that they should be able to keep a thousand sheep alive.”

“You must show me your ways at cutting trees.”

“First thing in the morning, my lord. In about a month, I’m planning to have a big Mongol-style hunt. Perhaps you and your knights would like to join us.”

“A Mongol hunt? I thought you hated Mongols.”

“I do. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t learn from them.”

“Indeed. How do the Mongols hunt?”

“They surround the biggest area they can with all their men, and since that can be as many as a million, the area can be as big as all Poland. Then they beat the bushes, working inward, being careful to let no animal out, but not killing any either. They might spend weeks driving all of the beasts to a’ central enclosure. Then, under the eyes of their leader, their Kakhan, they slaughter every single animal in what amounts to a major battle.”

“I don’t plan anything so big or so thorough. We’ll release all the female deer, bison, and other large herbivores, as well as the young and one-sixth of the males. We have to make sure that there will be game next year.”

“Dangerous animals-wolves, bears, wild boar, and so on-will all be killed. I don’t want them in my woods, hurting my people. The smaller animals -rabbits, birds, and the like, well, we’ll miss so many of those in the round up that I don’t think we have to worry about future generations.”

“I like it. I’ll come. You’ll build this enclosure large enough for the kill to be sporting?”

“I’m building it right now. I plan to run them right through & main gates of Three Walls. All the area beyond will be our killing ground. My thought was to distribute one-sixth of the meat to the noblemen who participated, a twelfth to any peasants not living at Three Walls, and to keep the rest to feed my people here. Do you think that would be fair?”

“Very. I think most knights might have more than they could carry back, unless they brought pack mules and I a that would be impolite. You’d be expected to provide a feast before and after the hunt, of course. You mention other peasants. Whose?”

“Well, there are Sir Miesko’s people and my own yeomen, my lord, and-”

“That’s something I wanted to talk to you about. Were there really twenty-seven squatters on my land when I gave it to you?”

“It appears so, my lord.”

“Dog’s blood!” he swore. “There must be hundreds on my other lands! How the devil am I going to flush them all out?”

“Why not do what I did, my lord? Turn a liability into an asset. Swear them in as yeomen, take less from them than you would from a peasant, and give them less as well. You’ll get something where you got nothing before, and they get the peace of mind of knowing that they am legitimate and have certain legal protections.”

“An interesting thought. I’ll think on it. But how the devil do I contact them to make my offer?”

“I’m not sure, my lord, but my experience has been that people of a certain type usually all know one another. If you wish, I’ll have my bailiff see what can be done. He’ll never admit to anything, but I’d bet that he can get your message across.”

“Good, though one wager a day is sufficient. Have him come with us tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, my lord?”

“Yes. There is a certain ceremony that we have not yet done. The beating of your bounds. We must ride the boundaries of your lands so that all may know where they are and there will be no future disagreements. Sir Miesko and Baron Jaraslav will meet us at their borders at the proper times tomorrow. But for now, I am sated. Krystyana makes a good meal. Did you have any entertainment planned, Sir Conrad?”

“A dance, my lord. With any luck, you might find a lady that you find suitable for the evening.”

“Excellent, but you really must get into the habit of telling the peasants what to do, rather than just asking them.”

Chapter Eighteen

The lumbermen had gotten to playing a rough game. The topmen would start to climb a tree to cut the top off, and two of the tree fellers would immediately start to cut down that same tree. The idea of the game was to see if the topmen could finish before the fellers cut the tree down under them. I told them not to do that, but they didn’t pay much attention to me. I probably wasn’t assertive enough. The topmen were getting pretty insufferable, strutting around, wearing their spikes everywhere. Maybe, deep down inside, really I wanted to see them lose.

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