The High-Tech Knight – Book 2 of the Adventures of Conrad Starguard by Leo Frankowski

“This implied vassalage is new to me,” Vladimir said, “but it takes a weight off my mind. Tell me, does an implied vassal have a share of any booty?”

“Yes,” Miesko replied, “he does. But in this case there may or may not be booty. Sir Conrad argues that the Crossmen were performing a criminal act, abusing children. In that case, the property of the criminals would be his, subject to his liege lord’s share.”

“But the Crossmen will claim that Sir Conrad is the criminal, a highwayman who attacked a caravan, in which case a thief has no right to the property he stole.”

“While you were washing up, I looked over that caravan, since it’s in my barns. The mules belong to the farriers, and don’t enter into this, but the cargo belongs to the Crossmen and it’s rich. There are fourteen muleloads of prime northern furs and three of amber, Those slaves are worth six hundred pence each, and the arms, armor, and war-horses are all of the first quality. All told, it could easily be worth more than the booty Sir Conrad won last fall.”

“Be that as it may,” I said, “I didn’t do it for the money. I did it to save those children and I’m not sure what is to become of them. Can they be sent home?”

“Impossible. They no longer have homes or families . When the Crossmen take a heathen village, they kill every man, woman, and child, except for those few that might have value as slaves.”

“Brutal bastards. They remind me of another bunch of Germans I can think of. If I can’t send the kids home, I guess I’ll just have to take care of them myself. Sir Miesko, can you make arrangements for them to be sent to Three Walls?”

“Gladly. I wasn’t looking forward to feeding them. You understand that they are not to leave your lands until the whole matter is settled, though. You had best write a letter of explanation to your intendant, explaining matters.”

“Yes,” I said. “I’ll have to write one to Lambert as well.”

“What? You’re not going to him directly?”

“If I did that, he might throw me in jail. Then who will go and get Tadaos out of that donjon?”

“Please understand that Lambert is my liege as well. I can’t let you leave without some surety.”

“Lambert already has surety from me. Most of my money is in his vault.”

“Hmmm. True. Well, go then and come back quickly.”

“First thing in the morning. One last item. Can you recommend a good lawyer?”

“Lawyer? You don’t need a lawyer. Your case will never come before any court. Any human court, anyway.”

“What? Then what was all that legal talk about a while ago?”

“Oh, that was just my old clerkish training coming out again. See here, if you and I had a dispute, we could gather our arguments and take them before Count Lambert for settlement.”

“Likewise, a dispute between Lambert and his brother could be taken before the duke. But Duke Henryk is vassal to no man and the Crossmen are not vassal to him. So there is no human court before which this dispute can come. It must be settled before God.”

“You mean an ecclesiastical court?”

“Of course not! I mean a trial by combat. The Crossmen will send their best champion against you, and I’m afraid that you don’t have the slightest chance of winning.”

Wonderful.

Much later, I sat alone by a smoky oil lamp with a sharpened goose-quill pen, a ram’s horn of ink, and some sheepskin parchment.

Dear Yashoo,

This letter should be delivered to you along with the children that Sir Vladimir and I rescued today.

These poor victims of misfortune have been very badly treated. Their homes have been destroyed, their families murdered, and themselves enslaved by a band of foreigners called the Crossmen. They have been whipped and marched for hundreds of miles, with bleeding feet and bloody backs. They were to be -sold far to the south to satisfy the unnatural lusts of the infidel Moslems, the same heathens who now hold the Holy Lands against all true Christians.

It is our Christian duty to care for these poor unfortunates. It will not be easy. They do not speak Polish, and have never had the chance to learn of Christ’s pure teaching. We must adopt them, bring them into our homes, and give them the benefit of our religion and our love.

I ask each family to adopt at least one of these children, and treat them just as if they were their own flesh and blood.

They are to eat, with everyone else, at my expense.

They need clothing. I am writing my liege lord, Count Lambert, for cloth sufficient to clothe not only the children, but every man, woman, and child at Three Walls. This too will be at my own cost. There should be enough for two complete sets of clothes for everyone, one of linen and one of wool, for the winter. When it arrives, see that it is distributed free to the ladies and put any surpluses in storage.

Read this letter to all the people at supper every evening for three days. I know that I can count on the good Christians of Three Walls to do their duty. I give you all my love,

Conrad.

P.S. The affair with the Crossmen is not over. There may be some legal tricks that they may try, but don’t worry. We can not fail because God is on our side.

I read the letter over. It appealed to duty, family, and pity, as well as to religion and greed. If my ploy didn’t work, I’d demand my money back from that course in persuasive writing I once took. Next chance I got.

On to my Liege Lord Lambert, Count of Okoitz, on this Second day of August, 1232

My Lord, Know that on this date I found one hundred forty-two very young people being severely oppressed on your lands.

They were chained neck to neck, whipped, and marched barefoot and naked for hundreds of miles by foreigners. Out of Christian pity and my oath to you, whereby I vowed to protect all the people on your lands, I rescued these oppressed people with Sir Vladimir’s valiant aid.

Polish arms were victorious, for God was on our side. We two of your vassals dispatched four of the foreign knights, wounded two more, perhaps unto death and sent a seventh knight fleeing for the horizon.

Vast booty was taken, which Sir Miesko estimates to be as large as that taken last fall, when by the grace of God I cleaned your lands of the brigand, Sir Rheinburg. This booty is now at Sir Miesko’s manor, awaiting future division, including your -rightful share.

The people rescued will be sent to my lands, to be cared for at my expense and, once healed of their sad wounds, to be put to some useful work, if they will it.

They are all quite young and most of the ladies are not yet budding, but they were all carefully selected to serve the lechery of Moorish princes and are remarkably comely. I think perhaps that in a year or two you might find dalliance at Three Walls to be profitable. Or perhaps some might want employment in the cloth mill, which I am building for you.

They were all naked when rescued, or nearly so and thus I have need of cloth for them, as well as for the other people on my lands. As a favor to me, could you please send wool cloth sufficient to clothe eight hundred people, and a like amount of linen, to Three Walls? Take whatever amount you deem fair for the cloth and transport from my coffer that is in your vault.

I wish that I could come to you at this time but a friend is in danger in Sacz and will die if I do not go immediately to his aid.

Sir, Miesko says that there will be some legal problems as a result of my actions, but I hold that slavery is an offense against God and that I did no wrong this day. I shall return to you in a few weeks and place all my wealth as surety for that return.

I remain your loyal and trusting vassal,

Conrad

P.S. By this time, the beehives I showed your carpenter the way of making should have attracted some bees. You might want to have your beekeeper survey all the hives and count those hives that are populated, to see how well I have served you in this manner. Please give my regards to all the fair ladies at the mill.

Conrad

On rereading the letter, I could see that I was troweling it on pretty thick, but then Lambert wasn’t all that sophisticated. I’d put myself in the best possible light without actually telling a lie, I had reminded him of all my past services and appealed to his pride in arms (considerable), his greed (such of it that there was), his lechery (vast, but of a friendly sort), and even his sweet tooth.

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