She snuffed out her oil lamp, then opened her door a few inches to peer into the men’s sleeping room. For a long minute she watched and listened, gathering her nerve. Then the latrine door opened, and she was looking at the bright yellow flame of the latrine’s oil lamp. She froze. Her eyes, adjusted to the dark, were briefly dazzled by the lamp, and she didn’t recognize the man who stepped out.
It seemed to her he must have seen her, seen her eye peering past the doorpost, but somehow he hadn’t. Turning away, he started for the front of the barracks, fully clothed, and she realized what was happening. It was midnight; he was relieving the watch. Good God! she thought. How could I have overlooked that? Her stomach churned. Was this an omen? If she’d been challenged crossing their sleeping room, she’d have been in serious trouble. Her lie wouldn’t convince them all.
Through the barracks door, she saw the two Tigers’ backs as they exchanged murmurs on the front stoop. Then the man off watch came in and went straight to the latrine. As soon as its door closed behind him, she swallowed her fear and slipped out, moving quietly, trying to seem legitimate. Opening the barracks door, she stepped onto the stoop—and it was Corgan who stood on guard with his spear at port arms. Her heart nearly stopped as he turned and scowled, but she had enough presence of mind to close the door behind her. The rain still fell, cascading noisily from both sides of the small roof sheltering the stoop.
“What’re you doing out here?” he growled. “It’s not three o’clock.”
My God! If he gropes me, he’ll find my belt and knife! “I’ve got a boyfriend.”
“A boyfriend? You?”
“What’s the matter? Don’t you think I can have a boyfriend? All you Tigers do is hump me. I need loving from time to time.” She stepped off the stoop into the rain, pausing to peer back at him. He stood puzzled, confused: The concept was beyond him. “Tell you what,” she said. “When it’s your turn tomorrow, if you’ll take the time to stroke me a little, and kiss me nicely enough, I’ll give you a special treat.”
She turned then and trotted off through the downpour toward the kitchen, giggling on the edge of hysteria. When she got there, she refastened her belt on the outside of her shift. Cook had set aside two large loaves of yesterday’s bread to make dressing with, and she tucked them inside her shift. The belt would keep them in. She followed them with a large slab cut from a cheese. It occurred to her then that the bread, if it got too wet, might come apart inside her shift, and looked around for something to repel the rain. The oil-cloth in the vegetable room! she thought. I can wear it back-side out so the white won’t show. She took it from its table, but the rough back side was a pale beige, still too visible in the dark. With one of the knives hanging there, she cut a hole in it for her head, then smeared lard on the rough side, the beige side. That done, she opened the soot door behind the stack of ovens, and smeared soot into the lard until the oil cloth was black. Now if the rain doesn’t wash it off . . .
She slipped it on black side out, then washed her hands. The lye soap didn’t lather much, but it removed the sooty lard. She gave one last look around, thinking of the problems she was leaving for the cook—the nearest she had to a friend; Liiset had avoided her since their reunion. Clenching her teeth, Varia laid and lit fires beneath the oven stack and in the stoves, and replenished the fire in the water heater. It took a few minutes, but she would not wrong the cook by leaving them cold.
Then she went into the rain again. It had eased considerably, and that worried her. If it stopped, instead of her tracks being washed out, they’d be conspicuous in the rain-softened ground. For a moment she considered cancelling the attempt. She could hide the oil-cloth under the floor, for the kitchen was built on blocks, then sleep in the kitchen for two hours, and do her job as if nothing was wrong.