“I am not just ‘that robot’, thank you very much,” snorted Marvin. “You obviously have no conception of who I am.” He paused to beg the question, then started again so soon as Jeremy began to speak. “I am your prototype, Marvin.”
The robots were stunned and amazed.
“We were told you had been kidnapped.”
“What’s the point of kidnapping me. Nobody wants me. I just ended up going along for the ride. Enough of that, why haven’t you given me the android salute, I am your superior.”
The robots looked at each other, confused.
“You stick you left arm in the right ear of the robot next to you. Didn’t they programme you anything?”
The robots obliged, exploded and lit up the Stavromulan sky with a firework display to rival the space battle seen but an hour before.
“Almost as stupid as you lot,” muttered Marvin.
CHAPTER 62
The Stavromulans helped to repair the Heart of Gold and agreed to let Arthur go to Zaphod’s wedding to give Trillian away on the provision that he didn’t stay away as long as he did before. The emergency back up improbability drive generator was hooked up using the old atomic vector plotter held together with Arthur’s dressing gown cord, even though he had offered to get them home by clicking his heals together twice.
Ford got on the Sub Etha radio and relayed the co-ordinates of the entry route to Sirius to Etats and Dilos on Eccentrica Gallumbits’ planet. Even though they were legless, they still managed to relay the message Universe-wide. Within hours, Sirius was overrun by consumers. The Marketing Division were put up against a wall and shot, strategic planning experts were brought in and the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation became a co-operative of the people. The revolution had arrived, two weeks before a rival company put in a bid, making a fortune for the co-operative. Wealth in the Universe was great for merchandising, causing a slight delay in plans.
The scene was set for a perfect wedding.
CHAPTER 63
Arthur charged around in a panic. Fenchurch charged after him in a beautiful dress. Her intention was to get him into morning dress. She had found a do-it-yourself mode on the Tailormatic and although the machine protested, she produced an acceptable morning suit. Arthur was worried about what he had to do to give Trillian away. Fenchurch was worried about Arthur going out without any clothes on.
“Where’s Ford?” He cried. “He must know.”
“Arthur, will you put your clothes on,” ordered Fenchurch.
“What? Oh, alright, but I’m not going out unless I know what I’ve got to do,” sulked Arthur.
“You’ll really enjoy yourself,” said Fenchurch, pulling his trousers up. “I’ll be there to give you support.” She didn’t realise that Arthur would be wearing a support.
Trillian came in the room, looking incredible. If Arthur wasn’t so in love with Fenchurch, he would have asked Trillian to give up Zaphod and run away with him.
“You look lovely, Trillian,” he said instead.
“What a beautiful dress,” said Fenchurch.
It was indeed, beautiful. Every cut, stitch and hem was beautiful. The whole dress radiated beauty and tanned Arthur.
“The Tailormatic ran it up,” said Trillian. “It is rather nice.”
“Trillian, what have I got to do?” Asked Arthur. “I’m worried stiff in case I mess up your big day.”
“Don’t worry,” said Trillian. “Just wear this.”
She held out a grey cummerbund. Arthur took it and put it on.
“That doesn’t really put my mind at rest,” said Arthur.
“It’s a gravity support harness,” explained Trillian. “All you have to do is take your place next to Fenchurch after you land.”
“Land?” Said Fenchurch.
“We fly down to the altar,” said Trillian.
“I didn’t know you could fly,” said Arthur.
“I don’t need to,” said Trillian. “I’ve got a gravity support harness as well. A team of marriage technicians handles all the moves for us. All we’ve got to do is relax and enjoy it.”
Arthur couldn’t relax and was sure he wasn’t going to enjoy himself. He was standing by the control room with Trillian. They technicians were sitting in front of an overwhelming bank of controls and monitor screens.