Your hand, my Perdita: so turtles pair,
That never mean to part.
PERDITA I’ll swear for ’em.
POLIXENES This is the prettiest low-born lass that ever
Ran on the green-sward: nothing she does or seems
But smacks of something greater than herself,
Too noble for this place.
CAMILLO He tells her something
That makes her blood look out: good sooth, she is
The queen of curds and cream.
Clown Come on, strike up!
DORCAS Mopsa must be your mistress: marry, garlic,
To mend her kissing with!
MOPSA Now, in good time!
Clown Not a word, a word; we stand upon our manners.
Come, strike up!
Music. Here a dance of Shepherds and Shepherdesses
POLIXENES Pray, good shepherd, what fair swain is this
Which dances with your daughter?
Shepherd They call him Doricles; and boasts himself
To have a worthy feeding: but I have it
Upon his own report and I believe it;
He looks like sooth. He says he loves my daughter:
I think so too; for never gazed the moon
Upon the water as he’ll stand and read
As ’twere my daughter’s eyes: and, to be plain.
I think there is not half a kiss to choose
Who loves another best.
POLIXENES She dances featly.
Shepherd So she does any thing; though I report it,
That should be silent: if young Doricles
Do light upon her, she shall bring him that
Which he not dreams of.
Enter Servant
Servant O master, if you did but hear the pedlar at the
door, you would never dance again after a tabour and
pipe; no, the bagpipe could not move you: he sings
several tunes faster than you’ll tell money; he
utters them as he had eaten ballads and all men’s
ears grew to his tunes.
Clown He could never come better; he shall come in. I
love a ballad but even too well, if it be doleful
matter merrily set down, or a very pleasant thing
indeed and sung lamentably.
Servant He hath songs for man or woman, of all sizes; no
milliner can so fit his customers with gloves: he
has the prettiest love-songs for maids; so without
bawdry, which is strange; with such delicate
burthens of dildos and fadings, ‘jump her and thump
her;’ and where some stretch-mouthed rascal would,
as it were, mean mischief and break a foul gap into
the matter, he makes the maid to answer ‘Whoop, do me
no harm, good man;’ puts him off, slights him, with
‘Whoop, do me no harm, good man.’
POLIXENES This is a brave fellow.
Clown Believe me, thou talkest of an admirable conceited
fellow. Has he any unbraided wares?
Servant He hath ribbons of an the colours i’ the rainbow;
points more than all the lawyers in Bohemia can
learnedly handle, though they come to him by the
gross: inkles, caddisses, cambrics, lawns: why, he
sings ’em over as they were gods or goddesses; you
would think a smock were a she-angel, he so chants
to the sleeve-hand and the work about the square on’t.
Clown Prithee bring him in; and let him approach singing.
PERDITA Forewarn him that he use no scurrilous words in ‘s tunes.
Exit Servant
Clown You have of these pedlars, that have more in them
than you’ld think, sister.
PERDITA Ay, good brother, or go about to think.
Enter AUTOLYCUS, singing
AUTOLYCUS Lawn as white as driven snow;
Cyprus black as e’er was crow;
Gloves as sweet as damask roses;
Masks for faces and for noses;
Bugle bracelet, necklace amber,
Perfume for a lady’s chamber;
Golden quoifs and stomachers,
For my lads to give their dears:
Pins and poking-sticks of steel,
What maids lack from head to heel:
Come buy of me, come; come buy, come buy;
Buy lads, or else your lasses cry: Come buy.
Clown If I were not in love with Mopsa, thou shouldst take
no money of me; but being enthralled as I am, it
will also be the bondage of certain ribbons and gloves.
MOPSA I was promised them against the feast; but they come
not too late now.
DORCAS He hath promised you more than that, or there be liars.
MOPSA He hath paid you all he promised you; may be, he has
paid you more, which will shame you to give him again.
Clown Is there no manners left among maids? will they
wear their plackets where they should bear their
faces? Is there not milking-time, when you are
going to bed, or kiln-hole, to whistle off these
secrets, but you must be tittle-tattling before all
our guests? ’tis well they are whispering: clamour
your tongues, and not a word more.
MOPSA I have done. Come, you promised me a tawdry-lace
and a pair of sweet gloves.
Clown Have I not told thee how I was cozened by the way
and lost all my money?
AUTOLYCUS And indeed, sir, there are cozeners abroad;
therefore it behoves men to be wary.
Clown Fear not thou, man, thou shalt lose nothing here.
AUTOLYCUS I hope so, sir; for I have about me many parcels of charge.
Clown What hast here? ballads?
MOPSA Pray now, buy some: I love a ballad in print o’
life, for then we are sure they are true.
AUTOLYCUS Here’s one to a very doleful tune, how a usurer’s
wife was brought to bed of twenty money-bags at a
burthen and how she longed to eat adders’ heads and
toads carbonadoed.
MOPSA Is it true, think you?
AUTOLYCUS Very true, and but a month old.
DORCAS Bless me from marrying a usurer!
AUTOLYCUS Here’s the midwife’s name to’t, one Mistress
Tale-porter, and five or six honest wives that were
present. Why should I carry lies abroad?
MOPSA Pray you now, buy it.
Clown Come on, lay it by: and let’s first see moe
ballads; we’ll buy the other things anon.
AUTOLYCUS Here’s another ballad of a fish, that appeared upon
the coast on Wednesday the four-score of April,
forty thousand fathom above water, and sung this
ballad against the hard hearts of maids: it was
thought she was a woman and was turned into a cold
fish for she would not exchange flesh with one that
loved her: the ballad is very pitiful and as true.
DORCAS Is it true too, think you?
AUTOLYCUS Five justices’ hands at it, and witnesses more than
my pack will hold.
Clown Lay it by too: another.
AUTOLYCUS This is a merry ballad, but a very pretty one.
MOPSA Let’s have some merry ones.
AUTOLYCUS Why, this is a passing merry one and goes to
the tune of ‘Two maids wooing a man:’ there’s
scarce a maid westward but she sings it; ’tis in
request, I can tell you.
MOPSA We can both sing it: if thou’lt bear a part, thou
shalt hear; ’tis in three parts.
DORCAS We had the tune on’t a month ago.
AUTOLYCUS I can bear my part; you must know ’tis my
occupation; have at it with you.
SONG
AUTOLYCUS Get you hence, for I must go
Where it fits not you to know.
DORCAS Whither?
MOPSA O, whither?
DORCAS Whither?
MOPSA It becomes thy oath full well,
Thou to me thy secrets tell.
DORCAS Me too, let me go thither.
MOPSA Or thou goest to the orange or mill.
DORCAS If to either, thou dost ill.
AUTOLYCUS Neither.
DORCAS What, neither?
AUTOLYCUS Neither.
DORCAS Thou hast sworn my love to be.
MOPSA Thou hast sworn it more to me:
Then whither goest? say, whither?
Clown We’ll have this song out anon by ourselves: my
father and the gentlemen are in sad talk, and we’ll
not trouble them. Come, bring away thy pack after
me. Wenches, I’ll buy for you both. Pedlar, let’s
have the first choice. Follow me, girls.
Exit with DORCAS and MOPSA
AUTOLYCUS And you shall pay well for ’em.
Follows singing
Will you buy any tape,
Or lace for your cape,
My dainty duck, my dear-a?
Any silk, any thread,
Any toys for your head,
Of the new’st and finest, finest wear-a?
Come to the pedlar;
Money’s a medler.
That doth utter all men’s ware-a.
Exit
Re-enter Servant
Servant Master, there is three carters, three shepherds,
three neat-herds, three swine-herds, that have made
themselves all men of hair, they call themselves
Saltiers, and they have a dance which the wenches
say is a gallimaufry of gambols, because they are
not in’t; but they themselves are o’ the mind, if it
be not too rough for some that know little but
bowling, it will please plentifully.
Shepherd Away! we’ll none on ‘t: here has been too much
homely foolery already. I know, sir, we weary you.
POLIXENES You weary those that refresh us: pray, let’s see
these four threes of herdsmen.
Servant One three of them, by their own report, sir, hath
danced before the king; and not the worst of the
three but jumps twelve foot and a half by the squier.
Shepherd Leave your prating: since these good men are