Waldo by Robert Heinlein

‘Shut up and listen to me. As I was saying, I knew you were too rotten selfish to live with, but this is the first time I ever knew you to be a fourflusher to boot.

‘What do you mean by that? Explain yourself.

‘Shucks! You haven’t any more idea of how to crack the problem that boy is up against than I have. You traded on your reputation as a miracle man just to make him unhappy. Why, you cheap tinhorn bluffer, if you-

‘Stop it!

‘Go ahead,’ Grimes said quietly. ‘Run up your blood pres­sure. I won’t interfere with you. The sooner you blow a gasket the better.

Waldo calmed down. ‘Uncle Gus – what makes you think I was blufiing?

‘Because I know you. If you had felt able to deliver the goods, you would have looked the situation over and worked out a plan to get NAPA by the short hair, through having something they had to have. That way you would have proved your revenge.

Waldo shook his head. ‘You underestimate the intensity of my feeling in the matter.

‘I do like hell! I hadn’t finished. About that sweet little talk you gave him concerning your responsibility to the race. You’ve got a head on you. You know damned well, and so do I, that of all people you can least afford to have anything serious happen to the setup down on Earth. That means you don’t see any way to prevent it

‘Why, what do you mean? I have no interest in such troubles; I’m independent of such things. You know me better than that.

‘Independent, eh? Who mined the steel in these walls? Who raised that steer you dined on tonight? You’re as independent as a queen bee, and about as helpless.

Waldo looked startled. He recovered himself and answered, ‘Oh no, Uncle Gus. I really am independent. Why, I have supplies here for years.

‘How many years?

‘Why. . . uh, five, about.

‘And then what? You may live another fifty – if you have regular supply service. How do you prefer to die – starvation or thirst?

‘Water is no problem,’ Waldo said thoughtfully; ‘as for supplies, I suppose I could use hydroponics a little more and stock up with some meat animals-

Grimes cut him short with a nasty laugh. ‘Proved my point. You don’t know how to avert it, so you are figuring some way to save your own skin. I know you. You wouldn’t talk about starting a truck garden if you knew the answers.

Waldo looked at him thoughtfully. ‘That’s not entirely true. I don’t know the solution, but I do have some ideas about it. I’ll bet you a half interest in hell that I can crack it. Now that you have called my attention to it, I must admit I am rather tied in with the economic system down below, and’ – he smiled faintly – ‘I was never one to neglect my own interests. Just a moment – I’ll call your friend.

‘Not so fast. I came along for another reason, besides intro­ducing Jimmie to you. It can’t be just any solution; it’s got to be a particular solution.

‘What do you mean?

‘It’s got to be a solution that will do away with the need for filling up the air with radiant energy.

‘Oh, that. See here, Uncle Gus, I know how interested you are in your theory, and I’ve never disputed the possibility that you may be right, but you can’t expect me to mix that into another and very difficult problem.

‘Take another look. You’re in this for self-interest. Suppose everybody was in the shape you are in.

‘You mean my physical condition?

‘I mean just that. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but we blamed well need to. If everybody was as weak as you are – presto! No coffee and cakes for Waldo. And that’s just what I see coming. You’re the only man I know of who can apprecl­ate what it means.

‘It seems fantastic.

‘It is. But the signs are there for anybody to read who wants to. Epidemic myasthenia, not necessarily acute, but enough to raise hell with our mechanical civilization. Enough to play hob with your supply lines. I’ve been collating my data since I saw you last and drawing some curves. You should see ‘em

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