Waldo by Robert Heinlein

‘Greetings, Mr Gleason. Quiet, Baldur! Come in. Be com­fortable. How do you do, Dr Stevens.

‘How do you do, Mr Jones.

‘This,’ said Gleason, indicating a figure trailing him, ‘is Mr. Harkness, head of our legal staff.

‘Ah, yes indeed. There will be matters of contract to be dis­cussed. Welcome to Freehold, Mr Harkness.

‘Thank you,’ Harkness said coldly. ‘Will your attorneys be present?

‘They are present.’ Waldo indicated a stereo screen. Two figures showed in it; they bowed and murmured polite forms

‘This is most irregular,’ Harkness complained. ‘Witnesses should be present in person. Things seen and heard by television are not evidence.

Waldo drew his lips back. ‘Do you wish to make an issue of it?

‘Not at all,’ Gleason said hastily. ‘Never mind, Charles.’ Harkness subsided

‘I won’t waste your time, gentlemen,’ Waldo began. ‘We are here in order that I may fulfil my contract with you. The terms are known, we will pass over them.’ He inserted his arms into his primary waldoes. ‘Lined up along the far wall you will see a number of radiant power receptors, commonly called deKalbs. Dr Stevens may, if he wishes, check their serial numbers-

‘No need to.

‘Very well. I shall start my local beamcaster, in order that we may check the efficiency of their operation.’ His waldoes were busy as he spoke. ‘Then I shall activate the receptors, one at a time.’ His hands pawed the air; a little pair of secondaries switched on the proper switches on the control board of the last set in line. ‘This is an ordinary type, supplied to me by Dr Stevens, which has never failed in operation. You may assure yourself that it is now operating in the normal manner, if you wish, Doctor.

‘I can see that it is.

‘We will call such a receptor a “deKalb” and its operation “normal”.’ The small waldoes were busy again. ‘Here we have a receptor which I choose to term a “Schneider-deKalb” be­cause of certain treatment it has received’ the antennae be­gan to move – ‘and its operation “Schneider-type” operation. Will you check it, Doctor?

‘OK.

‘You fetched with you a receptor set which has failed?

‘As you can see.

‘Have you been able to make it function?

‘No, I have not.

‘Are you sure? Have you examined it carefully?

‘Quite carefully,’ Stevens acknowledged sourly. He was be­ginning to be tired of Waldo’s pompous flubdubbery

‘Very well. I will now proceed to make it operative.’ Waldo left his control ring, shoved himself over to the vicinity of the defective deKalb, and placed himself so that his body covered his exact actions from the sight of the others. He returncd to the ring and, using waldoes, switched on the activating circuit of the dcKalb

It immediately exhibited Schneider-type activity

‘That is my case, gentlemen,’ he announced. ‘I have found out how to repair deKalbs which become spontaneously inop­erative. I will undertake to apply the Schneider treatment to any receptors which you may bring to me. That is included in my fee. I will undertake to train others in how to apply the Schneider treatment. That is included in my fee, but I cannot guarantee that any particular man will profit by my instruc­tion. Without going into technical details I may say that the treatment is very difficult, much harder than it looks. I think that Dr Stevens will confirm that.’ He smiled thinly. ‘I believe that completes my agreement with you.

‘Just a moment, Mr Jones,’ put in Gleason. ‘Is a deKalb foolproof, once it has received the Schneider treatment?

‘Quite. I guarantee it.

They went into a huddle while Waldo waited. At last Glea­son spoke for them. ‘These are not quite the results we had expected, Mr Jones, but we agree that you have fulfilled your commission – with the understanding that you will Schneider-treat any receptors brought to you and instruct others, accord­ing to their ability to learn.

‘That is correct.

‘Your fee will be deposited to your account at once.

‘Good. That is fully understood and agreed? I have com­pletely and successfully performed your commission?

‘Correct.

‘Very well then. I have one more thing to show you. If you will be patient-’ A section of the wall folded back; gigantic waldoes reached into the room beyond and drew forth a large apparatus, which resembled somewhat in general form an ordi­nary set of deKalbs, but which was considerably more compli­cated. Most of the complications were sheer decoration, but it would have taken a skilled engineer a long time to prove the fact

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