“In the meantime, you won’t be sorry.”
“Should we bring something?” Mary Andrea asked.
“Just an open mind.”
The visitation was only a few blocks away. Katie parked behind a long silver bus that was disgorging the eager faithful. They carried prayer books and crucifixes and umbrellas (for the sun) and, of course, cameras of all types. Some of the men wore loose-fitting walking shorts and some of the women had wide-brimmed hats. Their faces were open and friendly and uncluttered by worry. Mary Andrea thought they were the happiest group she’d ever seen; happier even than Cats audiences.
Katie said, “Let’s get in line.”
The Virgin Mary shrine was in the lawn of an average-looking suburban house. The four-foot icon stood on a homemade platform beyond a water-filled trench. A cordial woman in a flower-print pants suit moved among the waiting pilgrims and offered soft drinks, snacks and sunscreen. Mary Andrea purchased a Snapple and a tube of Hawaiian Tropic #30. Katie went for a Diet Coke.
Word came down the line that the weeping Madonna was between jags. The tourist ahead of Katie leaned back and said, “Gripes, I hope it’s not another dry day.”
“What do you mean?”
“That’s what happened last time I was here, in the spring—she never cried once, not one darn teardrop. Then the morning after we leave, look out. Some friends mailed us pictures—it looked like Old Faithful!”
Mary Andrea was diverted by a weather-beaten woman in a bridal gown. Perched on a stool beneath a tree, the woman was expounding in low tones and gesticulating theatrically. A half dozen of the bus tourists stood around her, though not too close. As an actress Mary Andrea had always been drawn to such colorful real-life characters. She asked Katie Battenkill to hold her place in line.
Shiner’s mother was alerted by the click of high heels, for the typical pilgrim didn’t dress so glamorously. The brevity of the newcomer’s skirt also raised doubts about her piety, yet Shiner’s mother wasn’t ready to pass judgment. Couldn’t redheaded rich girls be born again? And couldn’t they, even as sinners, be generous with offerings?
“Hello. My name’s Mary Andrea.”
“Welcome to Grange. I’m Marva,” said Shiner’s mother, from the stool.
“I love your gown. Did you make it yourself?”
“I’m married to the Word of the Lord.”
“What’ve you got there,” Mary Andrea inquired, “in the dish?”
Other tourists began moving in the direction of the Madonna statue, where there seemed to be a flurry of activity. With both arms Shiner’s mother raised the object of her own reverence. It was a Tupperware pie holder; sea green and opaque.
“Behold the Son of God!” she proclaimed.
“No kidding? May I peek?”
“The face of Jesus Christ!”
“Yes, yes,” Mary Andrea said. She opened her handbag and removed three dollar bills, which she folded into the slot of the woman’s collection box.
“We thank you, child.” Shiner’s mother centered the Tupperware on her lap and, with a grunt, prized off the lid.
“Behold!”
“Isn’t that an omelette?” Mary Andrea cocked her head.
“Do you not see Him?”
“No, Marva, I do not.”
“Here… now look.” Shiner’s mother rotated the Tupperware half a turn. Instructively she began pointing out the features: “That’s His hair… and them’s His eyebrows… ”
“The bell peppers?”
“No, no, the ham… Look here, that’s His crown of thorns.”
“The diced tomatoes.”
“Exactly! Praise God!”
“Marva,” said Mary Andrea, “I’ve never witnessed anything like it. Never!” Not since the last time I ate at Denny’s, she thought.
The omelette looked like absolutely nothing but an omelette. The woman was either a loon or a thief, but who cared?
“Bless you, child.” Shiner’s mother, slapping the lid on the Tupperware and burping it tight. In this manner she announced that the high-heeled pilgrim had gotten her three bucks’ worth of revelation.
Mary Andrea said, “I’d love for my friend to see. Would you mind?” Waving gaily at Katie, she thought: At least it beats sitting alone at the Hojo’s.
“Katie, come over here!”
But Katie Battenkill was otherwise engrossed. The queue at the weeping Madonna had dissolved into a loose and excited swarm, buzzing toward the moat.