bulbous nose. The senior scientists in PEP called him the GNASO Gnome. “I still
don’t see what’s wrong with it,” he repeated. “It says what needs to be said and
it’s factual. You wanted my input. Well, that’s it. I’m not in the political
cosmetics and don’t-upset-the-freaks business. What else can I say?”
Allan Brady, the NASO North American Division’s recently appointed
broad-shouldered, fair-haired, and stylishly dressed public relations director,
managed to suppress his exasperation with an effort as he sat in the chair
opposite. He had been warned to expect problems in dealing with Conlon, and had
thought that in going out of his way to solicit Conlon’s opinion on the Kerning
UFO-flap press release, due out the next day, he would at least be making a
start in the right direction. But the draft that had come back over the wire
from Conlon’s desk terminal within fifteen minutes of Brady’s request had come
close to causing heart attacks in the PR department. “But we can’t go putting
out things like this, Walt,” Brady protested. “It’s saying in effect that a U.S.
senator is either a simpleton or a fraud. And the—”
“He is,” Conlon retorted. “Both. Scientifically he’s an illiterate, and if the
truth were known, he’s got about as much interest in New Gospel Scientific
Solidarity as I have in medieval Turkish poetry. It’s pure politics—bankrolling,
bandwagoning, ballyhoo, and baloney. You can quote me on that.”
Brady bunched his mouth for a second, and then raised his hand briefly in a
conciliatory gesture. “Okay. That’s as may be, but we can’t make allegations
like this in an official NASO statement. Ethics apart, we’re a government-driven
operation, and we can’t afford to make enemies of people like Koming. And
programs like PEP that are still primarily public funded—” He broke off and
shook his head, giving Conlon a puzzled look. “But I don’t have to spell things
like that out to you, Walt. You know how the system works. We just need
something milder in tone and worded more tactfully. It doesn’t really even have
to say anything.”
Conlon shook his head. “Not from me. The precedent has gone too far already and
should never have been set in the first place. We can’t afford to let ourselves
be seen acquiescing to things like this. If it goes on the way it is, we’ll end
up with every kook and nut-cult in the country parading crusaders around
Washington to decide what NASO’s business ought to be. I don’t want to get mixed
up with them. I’ve got enough already with this Zambendorf nonsense on Mars. I
don’t have the time; I don’t have the budget; I don’t have the people.”
The New Gospel Scientific Solidarity Church of Oregon had combined a complete
retranslation of the Bible with the latest pseudoscientific writings on ancient
astronauts to produce a new, “rationalized” doctrine in which all the
revelations and mystical happenings of old were explained by visitations of
benevolent aliens with supernatural powers, who had access to secrets that
mankind would be privileged to share on completion of its “graduation.” The
Second Coming was really a symbolic reference to the time when the Powers would
be divulged, and contemporary UFO lore had been woven into the theme as tangible
evidence that the Day of Return was imminent. The church claimed a following of
millions, certainly commanded a monthly income of such, and had been campaigning
vigorously for recognition of scientific legitimacy, which—the skeptics quickly
noted—would qualify the movement for federal research funding. Orthodox
scientists challenged to refute the sect’s claims found themselves in the usual
no-win bind: If they responded at all they were proclaimed as having
“acknowledged the importance” of the assertions, and if they didn’t they had “no
answers.” The church supported an ardent lobby that was demanding, among other
things, specific allocations of NASO resources and funds for investigating UFO
phenomena, and which had ostensibly succeeded in recruiting Senator Koming of
Oregon as a spokesman and champion. And Koming had made the headlines often
enough to ensure a response of some kind from NASO.
Brady sought to avoid leaving the meeting empty-handed. “Well, I guess PR can
handle the Koming side of it, but there’s another part of this draft that