Helen had to smile. Carmen was a spoiled brat, and adorable. “Listen, I’ve enjoyed talking to all of you, but there’s been a big misunderstanding. I’m being married in three weeks, and — ” she inhaled for courage — “and I’m pregnant.”
A loud silence followed her words.
“Please understand, I’ve always wanted children, and Rafe doesn’t want any children, and it was always a big problem between us,” she rambled. “So, I guess you understand why — ”
“Rafe doesn’t know what he wants,” Juanita scoffed.
“I think he would have twenty children with you if you would take him back,” Inez added. “He would even love another man’s child. Yes, he would.”
“Beg him and he will do anything for you,” Carmen advised.
Juanita took her time before answering, “Having children isn’t everything, you know, but — ”
Her three sisters groaned.
“Juanita, you think you know everything,” Carmen whined. “Don’t give us a lecture.”
” — but this is something you and Rafe can work out if you love each other,” Jacinta went on, ignoring her sisters. “I’m sure after you are married, Rafe will come to his senses.”
Helen gritted her teeth. “That will never happen. Rafe had a vasectomy.” I don’t believe I just said that to four virtual strangers. I need an aspirin. I need sleep. I need sanity.
Everyone stared at her as if she’d just said Rafe had grown two heads.
“Oh, my God! Mama will have a heart attack,” Juanita said, making the sign of the cross over her chest. “You can’t tell her,” Helen insisted. It was as if she was invisible. They talked right over her. “Vasectomies can be reversed,” Jacinta said, and her sisters asked her to explain. On and on the four women went until Helen began to think Rafe had the right idea about his family being a big pain in the behind.
When they finally left, helping her clean up the empty wine bottles and offering to send her some of their own Christmas goodies to replenish her stock, Helen sank into bed with a cup of herbal tea.
She refused to answer the doorbell the next day. There was only one more family member left, and Helen didn’t need to peek through the peephole to know that her visitor — a younger, more sensitive version of Rafe — was Ramon. His eyes were a luminous blue, tearful with misery. “Helen? Are you in there? I can hear your Christmas music. Your car is parked out front. Please, I have to talk to you.”
Helen pressed her forehead against the door. She really, really couldn’t handle any more stress.
“It’s all my fault that you and Rafe broke up. Please, you gotta take him back. He won’t even talk to me. He punched me. He’s making Mama cry.”
He waited for her response. When she didn’t answer or open the door, he continued, “Man, he loves you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
Again, the poignant silence. Helen bit her lip to stifle a sob.
“I had to listen to him talk about you for three months in that damn jail. Sometimes I thought I’d puke if I heard the name Helen again. He’s got it real bad. Don’t you even care?”
Tears were streaming down Helen’s face.
Finally, she heard Ramon walk away, muttering, “Women!”
That day, Helen collapsed in bed, not even trying to find the blessed numbness of sleep. She loved Rafe’s family. Despite all his griping about his clinging mother and siblings, when they saw him in pain, they all united to help him. That was what families were all about. She hoped he would see that someday.
Helen would love to be enfolded in the warmth of his family, but there were two people she had to consider here, two people she loved very much. Rafe and her baby.
No matter what everyone said, Rafe did not want children. It would make him miserable in the end to be saddled with a baby.
And what kind of life would it be for a child with a father who had not wanted him or her?
Helen placed her hand over her stomach, and her baby moved for the first time, as if reassuring her that she was making the right decision.