This wasn’t her — not Major Helen Prescott, a model of propriety and stern emotional control. No, this was a dream woman, a wanton, who was plunging her tongue into a man’s mouth, making those vulgar sounds, demanding… Oh, my goodness! What was happening to her?
With a low, male sound, Rafe met her arousal with his own.
Her breasts swelled, the tips hardening. At the same time, her lower muscles constricted, then melted into a needful, quivering pool.
She moaned.
He hissed through clenched teeth.
With a jerk, he dragged his mouth from hers, burying his face in her neck. “Oh, God, oh, God…” he muttered, as if in pain. His chest heaved against hers with each soughing breath he took.
She understood completely. Grabbing his hair in both hands, she pulled his head up so she could see his face. “Rafe, let’s go back to the hotel.” Her voice was so hoarse with passion, the words came out as a sultry whisper. “We can stay here another night. Please.”
He studied her for a long moment, his blue eyes throwing off sparks. “Why?”
She hadn’t expected that question. The answer was obvious, wasn’t it? “Because I want you,” she admitted, glancing to the side, unable to face him after her too-honest response.
He tipped her chin up, urging her to meet his eyes. “Do you love me?”
“Huh? No. Of course, not. Don’t be ridiculous.” Maybe. Oh, my God! Maybe I do. “I mean, why would you ask such a thing?” She thought briefly, then added, “Do you love me?”
“No,” he said flatly, but he didn’t seem too sure, either.
Blood roared in her ears and her heart expanded in her chest until she could barely breathe. “Don’t make this complicated. I want to make love with you, Rafe. That’s all.”
“That’s not enough.”
She made a small mewling sound of distress, and he kissed the side of her mouth… softly, soothing. “Shhh, it’s all right, honey. Don’t worry.”
“We’re not going to make love, are we?”
He shook his head sadly. “Not now, babe.”
“Why?” she cried out, appalled at her pleading tone, but unable to accept his words.
“It’s too dangerous to stay in Sacramento. But, even so, there are other reasons why — ”
“Oh, don’t bring up those stupid condoms again. I don’t care about that.”
“But I do,” he said with grim finality.
“Well, what difference does it make if we use those three damn condoms now, or the night we go back?”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know myself. If I have you one time, or three, I won’t be able to stop. You’re my Achilles’ heel. But I care too much to make babies irresponsibly,” he said, laying a flat palm over her stomach for emphasis.
Helen had a sweet image then of her growing big with Rafe’s child. Would it be a rascal of a boy with black hair and brown eyes? Or a darling redheaded pixie with Rafe’s mischievous blue eyes? The mental picture was so beautiful and poignant that tears welled in her eyes.
“Why are you weeping, Helen? Don’t cry. Please.”
“I’m not crying,” she lied, wiping at her eyes. “Let me ask you this. You’re a gambler — why not take a chance in our making love? Let the chips fall where they may?”
“Uh-uh,” he said, shaking his head vehemently. “That’s Russian roulette, and I don’t take chances with contraception. No babies! No way!”
Helen felt a sense of shattering inside as all her unconscious hopes were crushed. When had she begun to form illusions about a life with Rafe after returning to the future? Had she carried unconscious feelings for him all these years?
No babies.
They had no future together, that was certain. While she yearned for the day she would have children, a warm home, a large family, Rafe wanted none of those things. Her maternal instincts were so strong she’d almost married a man without loving him — Elliott. Perhaps she still would.
No babies.
She shouldn’t care.
She did.
“… so you don’t need to be distressed.” Rafe had been talking in a soft murmur, stroking away her tears while she was lost in her painful thoughts.