But a short time later, as he and Sancho emerged from the woods, Rafe wasn’t too sure. His hands were still bound, and he’d been forced to suffer the ignominy of Sancho undoing his pants so he could relieve himself.
“Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.“
He closed his eyes wearily.
“Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug…”
Opening his eyes, Rafe glanced disgustedly toward the stream where Helen was gargling like a fountain. Pablo stood guard over her with a raised revolver after having apparently released her ropes. A temporary reprieve, he suspected.
“Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.
Pablo was watching her with a rapt expression of ecstasy. “Oh, I can’t wait till she gargles me,” the dope kept muttering.
“How soon till the hanging, do you think, Ignacio?” Sancho asked as he packed up the camping gear, obviously willing the hours away until Rafe’s demise so he could get his turn at being corkscrewed and gargled by Elena.
“Take off the Angel’s pants,” Ignacio ordered Sancho suddenly.
“Wha-at?” Rafe cried out.
“Your trousers, senor. I have decided I like them. We weel trade, for now. After the hanging, I weel take mine back, too.”
Rafe sneered with distaste at Ignacio’s filthy leather pants with their heavy embroidery and fancy fringe and bell-bottom legs that fit over the boots. “No, thanks.”
“Elena says I would look good — mucho macho — in your trousers,” Ignacio enlightened him coldly.
Rafe narrowed his eyes accusingly at Helen. “Mucho macho?” he mouthed.
She smirked. “Did you tell Pablo that gargling was a sexual trick?”
“Take off his damn trousers,” Ignacio roared, pulling out his blasted pistol and aiming it at Sancho, who was balking at his order.
“Listen, Ignacio, your pants look about a size forty-four. I have a thirty-four-inch waist. Besides, I’m more a jeans kind of guy.”
Ignacio raised his gun.
With Sancho’s help, Rafe shucked his duds. Luckily, Ignacio couldn’t fit them over his fat butt. So, a short time later, they rode off toward Sacramento City, but Rafe wouldn’t forget what Helen had tried to do to him.
He slanted a sideways glance at Helen, who was looking very pleased with herself. Then she started to whistle. It sounded like fingernails grating over a chalkboard.
Maybe the day wasn’t going to turn out quite the way he’d expected.
Helen took great pleasure in having turned the tables on Rafe. “Be careful you don’t get a sunburn,” she called out once when they stopped to water the horses. Pablo had given her his extra hat, but there was none for Rafe.
He shot her a you’ll-get-yours look, and said sweetly, “Andrew Dice Clay was right. Women’s tongues are good for only one thing.”
“Pig!” she chided.
“Prude.”
“Lech.”
“Looney.”
“Chauvinist.”
“Femi-Nazi.”
“Ambulance chaser.”
“Nipples.”
“Huh?” Helen looked down quickly, relieved to see that her chest was well-covered with her camouflage blouse. She raised her eyes to Rafe’s laughing ones.
He winked. “Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.”
By late afternoon, they were approaching Sacramento, and the closer they got, trivial personal squabbling faded in importance. The fantastic landscape convinced them both, like nothing had before, that time travel might really be possible.
“We should have passed Blue Valley Vineyard over there,” she whispered.
“And have you noticed, not one airplane has gone over the entire day?” Rafe added. “Hell, this has got to be a major flight pattern direct to McClellan Air Force Base. In fact, Interstate 50 should follow just about the same route we are, and we haven’t seen one single automobile.”
He raised his face to the clear, cloudless skies. His thick, unruly hair lay sweatily against his neck and over his forehead, but he was unable to brush it back because his hands were tied in front of him to the saddle horn.
After two days of not shaving and all the dust of their travel, he looked as much like a Mexican desperado as their captors claimed him to be. And Helen had to admit that, after this second day in the saddle, Rafe was handling his horse just fine, like a true Mexican bandido, considering the deep pain he must be in as a new rider.