The three men watched her face. Her mouth grew thin and her eyes squinted. She closed her eyes and the pencil began to move. “I don’t know,” it scrawled in huge letters.
“Here, now there’s a fresh sheet. What do you remember?”
“All black. Can’t think,” the pencil wrote before it went over the edge of the tablet.
“Don’t you remember who you are, where you came from? Think!”
She seemed to go through a great struggle and then her face gave up and became tragic. “No. Mixed up. Help me.”
“Poor child,” the sheriff said. “I thank you for trying anyway. When you get better we’ll try again. No, you don’t have to write any more.”
The pencil wrote, “Thank you,” and fell from her fingers.
She had won the sheriff. He ranged himself with Adam. Only Charles was against her. When the brothers were in her room, and it took two of them to help her on the bedpan without hurting her, she studied Charles’ dark sullenness. He had something in his face that she recognized, that made her uneasy. She saw that he touched the scar on his forehead very often, rubbed it, and drew its outline with his fingers. Once he caught her watching. He looked guiltily at his fingers. Charles said brutally, “Don’t you worry. You’re going to have one like it, maybe even a better one.”
She smiled at him, and he looked away. When Adam came in with her warm soup Charles said, “I’m going in town and drink some beer.”
3
Adam couldn’t remember ever having been so happy. It didn’t bother him that he did not know her name. She had said to call her Cathy, and that was enough for him. He cooked for Cathy, going through recipes used by his mother and his stepmother.
Cathy’s vitality was great. She began to recover very quickly. The swelling went out of her cheeks and the prettiness of convalescence came to her face. In a short time she could be helped to a sitting position. She opened and closed her mouth very carefully, and she began to eat soft foods that required little chewing. The bandage was still on her forehead but the rest of her face was little marked except for the hollow cheek on the side where the teeth were missing.
Cathy was in trouble and her mind ranged for a way out of it. She spoke little even when it was not so difficult.
One afternoon she heard someone moving around in the kitchen. She called, “Adam, is it you?”
Charles’ voice answered, “No, it’s me.”
“Would you come in here just a minute, please?”
He stood in the doorway. His eyes were sullen.
“You don’t come in much,” she said.
“That’s right.”
“You don’t like me.”
“I guess that’s right too.”
“Will you tell me why?”
He struggled to find an answer. “I don’t trust you.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. And I don’t believe you lost your memory.”
“But why should I lie?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I don’t trust you. There’s something—I almost recognize.”
“You never saw me in your life.”
“Maybe not. But there’s something that bothers me—that I ought to know. And how do you know I never saw you?”
She was silent, and he moved to leave. “Don’t go,” she said. “What do you intend to do?”
“About what?”
“About me.”
He regarded her with a new interest. “You want the truth?”
“Why else would I ask?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll tell you. I’m going to get you out of here just as soon as I can. My brother’s turned fool, but I’ll bring him around if I have to lick him.”
“Could you do that? He’s a big man.”
“I could do it.”
She regarded him levelly. “Where is Adam?”
“Gone in town to get some more of your goddam medicine.”
“You’re a mean man.”
“You know what I think? I don’t think I’m half as mean as you are under that nice skin. I think you’re a devil.”
She laughed softly. “That makes two of us,” she said. “Charles, how long do I have?”
“For what?”
“How long before you put me out? Tell me truly.”
“All right, I will. About a week or ten days. Soon as you can get around.”
“Suppose I don’t go.”
He regarded her craftily, almost with pleasure at the thought of combat. “All right, I’ll tell you. When you had all that dope you talked a lot, like in your sleep.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He laughed, for he had seen the quick tightening of her mouth. “All right, don’t. And if you just go about your business as soon as you can, I won’t tell. But if you don’t, you’ll know all right, and so will the sheriff.”
“I don’t believe I said anything bad. What could I say?”
“I won’t argue with you. And I’ve got work to do. You asked me and I told you.”
He went outside. Back of the henhouse he leaned over and laughed and slapped his leg. “I thought she was smarter,” he said to himself. And he felt more easy than he had for days.
4
Charles had frightened her badly. And if he had recognized her, so had she recognized him. He was the only person she had ever met who played it her way. Cathy followed his thinking, and it did not reassure her. She knew that her tricks would not work with him, and she needed protection and rest. Her money was gone. She had to be sheltered, and would have to be for a long time. She was tired and sick, but her mind went skipping among possibilities.
Adam came back from town with a bottle of Pain Killer. He poured a tablespoonful. “This will taste horrible,” he said. “It’s good stuff though.”
She took it without protest, did not even make much of a face about it. “You’re good to me,” she said. “I wonder why? I’ve brought you trouble.”
“You have not. You’ve brightened up the whole house. Never complain or anything, hurt as bad as you are.”
“You’re so good, so kind.”
“I want to be.”
“Do you have to go out? Couldn’t you stay and talk to me?”
“Sure I could. There’s nothing so important to do.”
“Draw up a chair, Adam, and sit down.”
When he was seated she stretched her right hand toward him, and he took it in both of his. “So good and kind,” she repeated. “Adam, you keep promises, don’t you?”
“I try to. What are you thinking about?”
“I’m alone and I’m afraid,” she cried. “I’m afraid.”
“Can’t I help you?”
“I don’t think anyone can help me.”
“Tell me and let me try.”
“That’s the worst part. I can’t even tell you.”
“Why not? If it’s a secret I won’t tell it.”
“It’s not my secret, don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t.”
Her fingers gripped his hand tightly. “Adam, I didn’t ever lose my memory.”
“Then why did you say—”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Did you love your father, Adam?”
“I guess I revered him more than loved him.”
“Well, if someone you revered were in trouble, wouldn’t you do anything to save him from destruction?”
“Well, sure. I guess I would.”
“Well, that’s how it is with me.”
“But how did you get hurt?”
“That’s part of it. That’s why I can’t tell.”
“Was it your father?”
“Oh, no. But it’s all tied up together.”
“You mean, if you tell me who hurt you, then your father will be in trouble?”
She sighed. He would make up the story himself. “Adam, will you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“It’s an awful thing to ask.”
“No, it isn’t, not if you’re protecting your father.”
“You understand, it’s not my secret. If it were I’d tell you in a minute.”
“Of course I understand. I’d do the same thing myself.”
“Oh, you understand so much.” Tears welled up in her eyes. He leaned down toward her, and she kissed him on the cheek.
“Don’t you worry,” he said. “I’ll take care of you.”
She lay back against the pillow. “I don’t think you can.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, your brother doesn’t like me. He wants me to get out of here.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“Oh, no. I can just feel it. He hasn’t your understanding.”
“He has a good heart.”
“I know that, but he doesn’t have your kindness. And when I have to go—the sheriff is going to begin asking questions and I’ll be all alone.”
He stared into space. “My brother can’t make you go. I own half of this farm. I have my own money.”
“If he wanted me to go I would have to. I can’t spoil your life.”
Adam stood up and strode out of the room. He went to the back door and looked out on the afternoon. Far off in the field his brother was lifting stones from a sled and piling them on the stone wall. Adam looked up at the sky. A blanket of herring clouds was rolling in from the east. He sighed deeply and his breath made a tickling, exciting feeling in his chest. His ears seemed suddenly clear, so that he heard the chickens cackling and the east wind blowing over the ground. He heard horses’ hoofs plodding on the road and far-off pounding on wood where a neighbor was shingling a barn. And all these sounds related into a kind of music. His eyes were clear too. Fences and walls and sheds stood staunchly out in the yellow afternoon, and they were related too. There was change in everything. A flight of sparrows dropped into the dust and scrabbled for bits of food and then flew off like a gray scarf twisting in the light. Adam looked back at his brother. He had lost track of time and he did not know how long he had been standing in the doorway.