EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS IS NOBODY’S BUSINESS

such servant leave his or her place (for men and maids might come

under the same regulation) till the time agreed on be expired,

unless such servant be misused or denied necessaries, or show some

other reasonable cause for their discharge. In that case, the

master or mistress should be reprimanded or fined. But if servants

misbehave themselves, or leave their places, not being regularly

discharged, they ought to be amerced or punished. But all those

idle, ridiculous customs, and laws of their own making, as a

month’s wages, or a month’s warning, and suchlike, should be

entirely set aside and abolished.

When a servant has served the limited time duly and faithfully,

they should be entitled to a certificate, as is practised at

present in the wool-combing trade; nor should any person hire a

servant without a certificate or other proper security. A servant

without a certificate should be deemed a vagrant; and a master or

mistress ought to assign very good reasons indeed when they object

against giving a servant his or her certificate.

And though, to avoid prolixity, I have not mentioned footmen

particularly in the foregoing discourse, yet the complaints alleged

against the maids are as well masculine as feminine, and very

applicable to our gentlemen’s gentlemen; I would, therefore, have

them under the very same regulations, and, as they are fellow-

servants, would not make fish of one and flesh of the other, since

daily experience teaches us, that “never a barrel the better

herring.”

The next great abuse among us is, that under the notion of cleaning

our shoes, above ten thousand wicked, idle, pilfering vagrants are

permitted to patrol about our city and suburbs. These are called

the black-guard, who black your honour’s shoes, and incorporate

themselves under the title of the Worshipful Company of Japanners.

Were this all, there were no hurt in it, and the whole might

terminate in a jest; but the mischief ends not here, they corrupt

our youth, especially our men-servants; oaths and impudence are

their only flowers of rhetoric; gaming and thieving are the

principal parts of their profession; japanning but the pretence.

For example, a gentleman keeps a servant, who among other things is

to clean his master’s shoes; but our gentlemen’s gentlemen are

above it nowadays, and your man’s man performs the office, for

which piece of service you pay double and treble, especially if you

keep a table, nay, you are well off if the japanner has no more

than his own diet from it.

I have often observed these rascals sneaking from gentlemen’s doors

with wallets or hats’ full of good victuals, which they either

carry to their trulls, or sell for a trifle. By this means, our

butcher’s, our baker’s, our poulterer’s, and cheesemonger’s bills

are monstrously exaggerated; not to mention candles just lighted,

which sell for fivepence a pound, and many other perquisites best

known to themselves and the pilfering villains their confederates.

Add to this, that their continual gaming sets servants upon their

wits to supply this extravagance, though at the same time the

master’s pocket pays for it, and the time which should be spent in

a gentleman’s service is loitered away among these rakehells,

insomuch that half our messages are ineffectual, the time intended

being often expired before the message is delivered.

How many frequent robberies are committed by these japanners? And

to how many more are they confederates? Silver spoons, spurs, and

other small pieces of plate, are every day missing, and very often

found upon these sort of gentlemen; yet are they permitted, to the

shame of all our good laws, and the scandal of our most excellent

government, to lurk about our streets, to debauch our servants and

apprentices, and support an infinite number of scandalous,

shameless trulls, yet more wicked than themselves, for not a Jack

among them but must have his Gill.

By whom such indecencies are daily acted, even in our open streets,

as are very offensive to the eyes and ears of all sober persons,

and even abominable in a Christian country.

In any riot, or other disturbance, these sparks are always the

foremost; for most among them can turn their hands to picking of

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