Farnham’s Freehold By Robert A. Heinlein

“Hmm- Further deponent sayeth not. I’ll keep your grisly secret. Mother won’t know; I gave her another hypo.”

“Aren’t you jumping at conclusions?”

“My favorite exercise. I hope my nasty suspicions are correct. I wish I had had something better to do than sleep last night. Since it’s probably our last night.” She leaned over and kissed Barbara. “I like you.”

“Thanks, Karen. Me, too. You.”

“Let’s hold a funeral and preach about what nice guys we are. You made my daddy happy when you had the guts to bid that slam. If you made him happier still, I’m in favor of it.” She straightened up. “’Bye. I’ll go sort groceries. If Daddy wakes up, yell.” She left.

“Barbara?”

“Yes, Hugh? Yes!”

“Keep your voice down. I heard what my daughter said.”

“You did?”

“Yes. She’s a gentleman. Barbara? I love you. I may not have another chance to say so.”

“I love you.”

“Darling.”

“Shall I call the others?”

“Shortly. Are you comfortable?”

“Oh, very!”

“Then let me rest a bit. I feel woozy.”

“As long as you like. Uh, can you wiggle your toes? Do you hurt anyplace?”

“I hurt lots of places, but not too much. Let me see- Yes, I can move everything. All right, call Joe.”

“No hurry.”

“Better call him. Work to do.”

Shortly Mr. Farnham was back in charge. Joe required him to move himself-a mass of bruises but no break, sprain, nor concussion. It seemed to Barbara that Hugh had landed on the bottles and that she had landed on him. She did not discuss her theory.

Hugh’s first act was to bind Joe’s ribs with elastic bandage. Joe gasped as it tightened but seemed more comfortable with it. The lump on Karen’s head was inspected; Hugh decided that there was nothing he could do for it.

“Will somebody fetch the thermometer?” he asked. “Duke?”

“It’s busted.”

“It’s a bimetal job. Shockproof.”

“I looked for it,” Duke explained, “while you were doctoring. Seems cooler to me. While it may be shockproof, it couldn’t stand being mashed between two tanks.”

“Oh. Well, it’s no big loss.”

“Dad? Wouldn’t this be a good time to try the spare radio? Just a suggestion.”

“I suppose so, but- I hate to tell you, Duke, but you’ll probably find it smashed, too. We tried it earlier. No results.” He glanced at his wrist. “An hour and half ago. At two A.M. Has anyone else the time?”

Duke’s watch agreed.

“We seem to be in fair shape,” Hugh decided, “except for water. There are some plastic jugs of water but we need to salvage the tank water; we may have to drink it. With Halazone tablets. Joe, we need utensils of any sort, and everybody bail. Keep it as clean as you can.” He added, “When Joe can spare you, Karen, scrounge some breakfast. We’ve got to eat, even if this is Armageddon.”

“And Armageddon sick of it,” Karen offered.

Her father winced. “Baby girl, you will write on the blackboard one thousand times: ‘I will not make bad puns before breakfast.’”

“I thought it was pretty good, Hugh.”

“Don’t encourage her, Barbara. All right, get with it.”

Karen returned shortly, carrying Dr. Livingstone. “I wasn’t much help,” she announced, “because somebody has to hang onto this damn cat. He wants to help.”

“Kablerrrrt!”

“You did so! I’m going to entice him with sardines and get breakfast. What do you want, Daddy Hugh Boss? Crêpes Suzettes?”

“Yes.”

“What you’ll get is Spam and crackers.”

“All right. How’s the bailing going?”

“Daddy, I won’t drink that water even with Halazone.” She made a face. “You know where it wound up.”

“We may have to drink it.”

“Well. . . if you cut it with whisky-”

“Mmm- Every case of liquor is leaking. The two I’ve opened each has one fifth, unbroken.”

“Daddy, you’ve ruined breakfast.”

“The question is, do I ration it evenly? Or save it all for Grace?”

“Oh.” Karen’s features screwed up in painful decision. “She can have my share. But the others shouldn’t be deprived just because Gracie has a yen.”

“Karen, at this stage it’s not a yen. In a way, for her it’s medicine.”

“Yeah, sure. And diamond bracelets and sable coats are medicine for me.”