Farnham’s Freehold By Robert A. Heinlein

Hugh neither confirmed nor denied Duke’s story.

“Well?” Duke demanded. “What are you going to do about it?”

“About what, Duke? Are you suggesting that I put a stop to servants’ hall gossip?”

“I don’t mean that at all! Are you going to sit there like a turd on a rock while your wife is being raped?”

“Probably. You come in here with some story you’ve picked up from a second assistant dishwasher and expect me to do something. I would like to know, first, why do you think this gossip is true? Second, what has what you have told me got to do with rape? Third, what would you expect me to do about it? Fourth, what do you think I can do about it? Take them in ‘order and be specific. Then we may talk about what I will do.”

“Quit twisting things.”

“I’m not twisting anything. Duke, you had an expensive education as a lawyer-I know, I picked up the tab. You used to lecture me about ‘rules of evidence.’ Now use that education. Take those questions in order. Why do you think this gossip is true?”

“Uh. . . I heard it and checked around. Everybody knows it.”

“So? Everybody knew the Earth was flat, at one time. But what is the allegation? Be specific.”

“Why, I told you. Mother is assigned as that bastard’s bedwarmer.”

“Who says so?”

“Why, everybody!”

“Did you ask the slutmaster?”

“Do you think I’m crazy?”

“I’ll take that as rhetorical. To shorten this, what ‘everybody knows,’ as you put it, is that Grace is assigned duties upstairs. This could be verified, if true. Possibly in attendance on Their Charity, possibly waiting on the ladies of the household, or perhaps other duties. Do you want an appointment with the slutmaster, so that you can ask him what duties your mother has? I do not know her duties.”

“Uh, you ask him.”

“I shan’t. I feel sure that Grace would regard it as snooping. Let’s assume that you have asked him and that he has told you, as you now suspect only from gossip, that her assignment is as bedwarmer. To Their Charity. On this assumption, made solely for the sake of argument since you haven’t proved it- on this assumption, where does rape come in?”

Duke looked astonished. “I would not have believed it, even of you. Do you mean to sit there and say baldly that you think Mother would do such a thing voluntarily?”

“I long ago gave up trying to guess what your mother would do. But I haven’t said she is doing anything. You have. I don’t know that her assignment is bedwarmer other than through gossip you have repeated without proof. If true, I still would not know if she had ever carried out the assignment by actually getting into his bed, voluntarily or otherwise-I’ve never seen his bed nor even heard gossip on this point. . . just your evil thoughts. But if those thoughts are correct, I still would have no opinion as to whether or not anything other than sleep had taken place. I have shared beds with females and done nothing but sleep; it can happen. But even stipulating sexual activity-your assumption, not mine-I doubt that Their Charity has ever raped any female in his life. I doubt it especially now.”

“Crap. There never was a nigger bastard who wouldn’t rape a white woman if he had the chance.”

“Duke! That’s poisonous, insane nonsense. You almost persuade me that you are crazy.”

“I-,’

“Shut up! You know that Joseph, to give one example, had endless opportunity to rape any of three white women for nine long months. You also know that his behavior was above reproach.”

“Well.. . he didn’t have a chance to.”

“I told you to shut up this poison. He had endless chance. While you were hunting, any day. He was alone with each of them, many times. Drop it! Slandering Joseph, I mean, even by innuendo. I’m ashamed of you.”

“And I’m ashamed of you. Fat cat for a nigger king.”

“Very well, the shame is mutual. Speaking of fat cats, I don’t really need you. if you want to quit being a fat cat, you can wash dishes or whatever they assign you to.”