The Journal to Stella by Jonathan Swift

LETTER 56.[1]

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The Journal to Stella

18. Morn. I am so very seepy in the morning that my man wakens me above ten times; and now I can tell oo no news of this day. (Here is a restless dog, crying cabbages and savoys, plagues me every morning about this time; he is now at it. I wish his largest cabbage were sticking in his throat.) I lodge over against the house in Little Rider Street, where DD lodged. Don’t oo lememble, maram? To−night I must see the Abbe Gaultier,[15] to get some particulars for my History. It was he who was first employed by France in the overtures of peace, and I have not had time this month to see him; he is but a puppy too. Lady Orkney has just sent to invite me to dinner; she has not given me the bed−nightgown;[16] besides, I am come very much off from writing in bed, though I am doing it this minute; but I stay till my fire is burnt up. My grate is very large; two bushels of coals in a week: but I save it in lodgings. Lord Abercorn is come to London, and will plague me, and I can do him no service. The Duke of Shrewsbury goes in a day or two for France, perhaps to−day. We shall have a peace very soon; the Dutch are almost entirely agreed, and if they stop we shall make it without them; that has been long resolved. One Squire Jones,[17] a scoundrel in my parish, has writ to me to desire I would engage Joe Beaumont to give him his interest for Parliament− man for Trim: pray tell Joe this; and if he designed to vote for him already, then he may tell Jones that I received his letter, and that I writ to Joe to do it. If Joe be engaged for any other, then he may do what he will: and Parvisol may say he spoke to Joe, but Joe’s engaged, etc. I received three pair of fine thread stockings from Joe lately. Pray thank him when you see him, and that I say they are very fine and good. (I never looked at them yet, but that’s no matter.) This is a fine day. I am ruined with coaches and chairs this twelvepenny weather. I must see my brother Ormond at eleven, and then the Duchess of Hamilton, with whom I doubt I am in disgrace, not having seen her these ten days. I send this to−day, and must finish it now; and perhaps some people may come and hinder me; for it im ten o’clock (but not shaving−day), and I must be abroad at eleven. Abbe Gaultier sends me word I can’t see him to−night; pots cake him! I don’t value anything but one letter he has of Petecum’s,[18] showing the roguery of the Dutch. Did not the Conduct of the Allies make you great politicians? Fais, I believe you are not quite so ignorant as I thought you. I am glad to hear oo walked so much in the country. Does DD ever read to you, ung ooman? O, fais! I shall find strange doings hen I tum ole![19] Here is somebody coming that I must see that wants a little place; the son of cousin Rooke’s eldest daughter, that died many years ago. He’s here. Farewell, deelest MD MD MD ME ME ME FW FW FW, Lele.

LETTER 57.[1]

LONDON, Dec. 18, 1712.

Our Society was to meet to−day; but Lord Harley, who was President this week, could not attend, being gone to Wimbledon with his new brother−in−law, the young Marquis of Caermarthen, who married Lady Betty Harley on Monday last; and Lord Treasurer is at Wimbledon too. However, half a dozen of us met, and I propose our meetings should be once a fortnight; for, between you and me, we do no good. It cost me nineteen shillings to−day for my Club at dinner; I don’t like it, fais. We have terrible snowy slobbery weather.

Lord Abercorn is come to town, and will see me, whether I will or no. You know he has a pretence to a dukedom in France, which the Duke of Hamilton was soliciting for; but Abercorn resolves to spoil their title, if they will not allow him a fourth part; and I have advised the Duchess to compound with him, and have made the Ministry of my opinion. Night, dee sollahs, MD, MD.

19. Ay mally zis is sumsing rike,[2] for Pdfr to write journals again! ‘Tis as natural as mother’s milk, now I am got into it. Lord Treasurer is returned from Wimbledon (’tis not above eight miles off), and sent for me to dine with him at five; but I had the grace to be abroad, and dined with some others, with honest Ben Tooke, by invitation. The Duchess of Ormond promised me her picture, and coming home tonight, I found hers and the Duke’s both in my chamber. Was not that a pretty civil surprise? Yes, and they are in fine gilded frames, too. I am writing a letter to thank her, which I will send to− morrow morning. I’ll tell her she is such a prude that she will not let so much as her picture be alone in a room with a man, unless the Duke’s be with it; and so LETTER 57.[1]

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The Journal to Stella

forth.[3] We are full of snow, and dabbling. Lady Masham has come abroad these three days, and seen the Queen. I dined with her t’other day at her sister Hill’s. I hope she will remove in a few days to her new lodgings at St. James’s from Kensington. Nite, dee logues MD.

20. I lodge [up] two pair of stairs, have but one room, and deny myself to everybody almost, yet I cannot be quiet; and all my mornings are lost with people, who will not take answers below stairs; such as Dilly, and the Bishop, and Provost, etc. Lady Orkney invited me to dinner to−day, which hindered me from dining with Lord Treasurer. This is his day that his chief friends in the Ministry dine with him. However, I went there about six, and sat with them till past nine, when they all went off; but he kept me back, and told me the circumstances of Lady Betty’s match. The young fellow has 60,000 pounds ready money, three great houses furnished, 7,000 pounds a year at present, and about five more after his father and mother die. I think Lady Betty’s portion is not above 8,000 pounds. I remember either Tisdall writ to me in somebody’s letter, or you did it for him, that I should mention him on occasion to Lord Anglesea, with whom, he said, he had some little acquaintance. Lord Anglesea was with me to−night at Lord Treasurer’s; and then I asked him about Tisdall, and described him. He said he never saw him, but that he had sent him his book.[4] See what it is to be a puppy. Pray tell Mr. Walls that Lord Anglesea thanked me for recommending Clements[5] to him; that he says he is 20,000 pounds the better for knowing Clements. But pray don’t let Clements go and write a letter of thanks, and tell my lord that he hears so and so, etc. Why, ’tis but like an Irish understanding to do so.

Sad weather; two shillings in coaches to−day, and yet I am dirty. I am now going to read over something and correct it. So, nite.

21. Puppies have got a new way of plaguing me. I find letters directed for me at Lord Treasurer’s, sometimes with enclosed ones to him, and sometimes with projects, and some times with libels. I usually keep them three or four days without opening. I was at Court to−day, as I always am on Sundays, instead of a coffee−house, to see my acquaintance. This day se’nnight, after I had been talking at Court with Sir William Wyndham, the Spanish Ambassador[6] came to him and said he heard that was Dr. Swift, and desired him to tell me that his master, and the King of France, and the Queen, were more obliged to me than any man in Europe; so we bowed, and shook hands, etc. I took it very well of him. I dined with Lord Treasurer, and must again to− morrow, though I had rather not (as DD says); but now the Queen is in town, he does not keep me so late. I have not had time to see Fanny Manley since she came, but intend it one of these days. Her uncle, Jack Manley,[7] I hear, cannot live a month, which will be a great loss to her father in Ireland, for I believe he is one of his chief supports. Our peace now will soon be determined; for Lord Bolingbroke tells me this morning that four provinces of Holland[8] have complied with the Queen, and we expect the rest will do so immediately. Nite MD.