The Journal to Stella by Jonathan Swift

Windsor. The Secretary and I dined to−day at Parson’s Green, at my Lord Peterborow’s house, who has left it and his gardens to the Secretary during his absence. It is the finest garden I have ever seen about this town; and abundance of hot walls for grapes, where they are in great plenty, and ripening fast. I durst not eat any fruit but one fig; but I brought a basket full to my friend Lewis here at Windsor. Does Stella never eat any?

what, no apricots at Donnybrook! nothing but claret and ombre! I envy people maunching and maunching peaches and grapes, and I not daring to eat a bit. My head is pretty well, only a sudden turn any time makes me giddy for a moment, and sometimes it feels very stuffed; but if it grows no worse, I can bear it very well. I take all opportunities of walking; and we have a delicious park here just joining to the Castle, and an avenue in the great park very wide and two miles long, set with a double row of elms on each side. Were you ever at Windsor? I was once, a great while ago; but had quite forgotten it.

2. The Queen has the gout, and did not come to chapel, nor stir out from her chamber, but received the sacrament there, as she always does the first Sunday in the month. Yet we had a great Court; and, among others, I saw your Ingoldsby,[11] who, seeing me talk very familiarly with the Keeper, Treasurer, etc., came up and saluted me, and began a very impertinent discourse about the siege of Bouchain. I told him I could not answer his questions, but I would bring him one that should; so I went and fetched Sutton (who brought over the express about a month ago), and delivered him to the General, and bid him answer his questions; and so I left them together. Sutton after some time comes back in a rage, finds me with Lord Rivers and Masham, and there complains of the trick I had played him, and swore he had been plagued to death with Ingoldsby’s talk.

But he told me Ingoldsby asked him what I meant by bringing him; so, I suppose, he smoked me a little. So we laughed, etc. My Lord Willoughby,[12] who is one of the chaplains, and Prebendary of Windsor, read prayers last night to the family; and the Bishop of Bristol, who is Dean of Windsor, officiated last night at the Cathedral. This they do to be popular; and it pleases mightily. I dined with Mr. Masham, because he lets me have a select company: for the Court here have got by the end a good thing I said to the Secretary some weeks ago. He showed me his bill of fare, to tempt me to dine with him. “Poh,” said I, “I value not your bill of fare; give me your bill of company.” Lord Treasurer was mightily pleased, and told it everybody as a notable thing. I reckon upon returning to−morrow: they say the Bishop will then have the Privy Seal delivered him at a great Council.

3. Windsor still. The Council was held so late to−day that I do not go back to town till to−morrow. The Bishop was sworn Privy Councillor, and had the Privy Seal given him: and now the patents are passed for those who were this long time to be made lords or earls. Lord Raby,[13] who is Earl of Strafford, is on Thursday to marry a namesake of Stella’s; the daughter of Sir H. Johnson in the City; he has three−score thousand pounds with her, ready money; besides the rest at the father’s death. I have got my friend Stratford to be one of the directors of the South Sea Company, who were named to−day. My Lord Treasurer did it for me a month ago; and one of those whom I got to be printer of the Gazette I am recommending to be printer to the same company. He treated Mr. Lewis and me to−day at dinner. I supped last night and this with Lord Treasurer, Keeper, etc., and took occasion to mention the printer. I said it was the same printer whom my Lord Treasurer has appointed to print for the South Sea Company. He denied, and I insisted on it; and I got the laugh on my side.

London, 4. I came as far as Brentford in Lord Rivers’s chariot, who had business with Lord Treasurer; then I went into Lord Treasurer’s. We stopped at Kensington, where Lord Treasurer went to see Mrs. Masham, who is now what they call in the straw. We got to town by three, and I lighted at Lord Treasurer’s, who commanded me not to stir: but I was not well; and when he went up, I begged the young lord to excuse me, LETTER 29.

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The Journal to Stella

and so went into the City by water, where I could be easier, and dined with the printer, and dictated to him some part of Prior’s Journey to France. I walked from the City, for I take all occasions of exercise. Our journey was horridly dusty.

5. When I went out to−day, I found it had rained mightily in the night, and the streets were as dirty as winter: it is very refreshing after ten days dry.I went into the City, and dined with Stratford, thanked him for his books, gave him joy of his being director, of which he had the first notice by a letter from me. I ate sturgeon, and it lies on my stomach. I almost finished Prior’s Journey at the printer’s; and came home pretty late, with Patrick at my heels.

7. Morning. But what shall we do about this letter of MD’s, N.19? Not a word answered yet, and so much paper spent! I cannot do anything in it, sweethearts, till night.At night. O Lord, O Lord! the greatest disgrace that ever was has happened to Presto. What do you think? but, when I was going out this forenoon a letter came from MD, N.20, dated Dublin. O dear, O dear! O sad, O sad!Now I have two letters together to answer: here they are, lying together. But I will only answer the first; for I came in late. I dined with my friend Lewis at his lodgings, and walked at six to Kensington to Mrs. Masham’s son’s christening. It was very private; nobody there but my Lord Treasurer, his son and son−in−law, that is to say, Lord Harley and Lord Dupplin, and Lord Rivers and I. The Dean of Rochester[14] christened the child, but soon went away. Lord Treasurer and Lord Rivers were godfathers; and Mrs. Hill,[15] Mrs. Masham’s sister, godmother. The child roared like a bull, and I gave Mrs. Masham joy of it; and she charged me to take care of my nephew, because, Mr. Masham being a brother of our Society, his son, you know, is consequently a nephew. Mrs. Masham sat up dressed in bed, but not, as they do in Ireland, with all smooth about her, as if she was cut off in the middle; for you might see the counterpane (what d’ye call it?) rise about her hips and body. There is another name of the counterpane; and you will laugh now, sirrahs. George Granville came in at supper, and we stayed till eleven; and Lord Treasurer set me down at my lodging in Suffolk Street. Did I ever tell you that Lord Treasurer hears ill with the left ear, just as I do? He always turns the right, and his servants whisper him at that only. I dare not tell him that I am so too, for fear he should think I counterfeited, to make my court.

6. You must read this before the other; for I mistook, and forgot to write yesterday’s journal, it was so insignificant. I dined with Dr. Cockburn, and sat the evening with Lord Treasurer till ten o’clock. On Thursdays he has always a large select company, and expects me. So good−night for last night, etc.

8. Morning. I go to Windsor with Lord Treasurer to−day, and will leave this behind me, to be sent to the post.

And now let us hear what says the first letter, N.19. You are still at Wexford, as you say, Madam Dingley. I think no letter from me ever yet miscarried. And so Inish−Corthy,[16] and the river Slainy; fine words those in a lady’s mouth. Your hand like Dingley’s, you scambling,[17] scattering sluttikin! YES, MIGHTY LIKE

INDEED, IS NOT IT?[18] Pisshh, do not talk of writing or reading till your eyes are well, and long well; only I would have Dingley read sometimes to you, that you may not lose the desire of it. God be thanked, that the ugly numbing is gone! Pray use exercise when you go to town. What game is that ombra which Dr.