The Journal to Stella by Jonathan Swift

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The Journal to Stella

misunderstandings betwixt them; and if there be no breach, I ought to have the merit of it. ‘Tis a plaguy ticklish piece of work, and a man hazards losing both sides. It is a pity the world does not know my virtue.I thought the clergy in Convocation in Ireland would have given me thanks for being their solicitor; but I hear of no such thing. Pray talk occasionally on that subject, and let me know what you hear. Do you know the greatness of my spirit, that I value their thanks not a rush, but at my return shall freely let all people know that it was my Lord Treasurer’s action, wherein the Duke of Ormond had no more share than a cat? And so they may go whistle, and I’ll go sleep.

16. I was this day in the City, and dined at Pontack’s[11] with Stratford, and two other merchants. Pontack told us, although his wine was so good, he sold it cheaper than others; he took but seven shillings a flask. Are not these pretty rates? The books he sent for from Hamburg are come, but not yet got out of the custom−house. My library will be at least double when I come back. I shall go to Windsor again on Saturday, to meet our Society, who are to sup at Mr. Secretary’s; but I believe I shall return on Monday, and then I will answer your letter, that lies here safe underneath;I see it; lie still: I will answer you when the ducks have eaten up the dirt.

17. I dined to−day at Lord Treasurer’s with Mrs. Masham, and she is extremely like one Mrs. Malolly, that was once my landlady in Trim. She was used with mighty kindness and respect, like a favourite. It signifies nothing going to this Lord Treasurer about business, although it be his own. He was in haste, and desires I will come again, and dine with him to−morrow. His famous lying porter is fallen sick, and they think he will die: I wish I had all my half− crowns again. I believe I have told you he is an old Scotch fanatic, and the damn’dest liar in his office alive.[12] I have a mind to recommend Patrick to succeed him: I have trained him up pretty well. I reckon for certain you are now in town. The weather now begins to alter to rain.

Windsor, 18. I dined to−day with Lord Treasurer, and he would make me go with him to Windsor, although I was engaged to the Secretary, to whom I made my excuses: we had in the coach besides, his son and son−in−law, Lord Harley and Lord Dupplin, who are two of our Society, and seven of us met by appointment, and supped this night with the Secretary. It was past nine before we got here, but a fine moonshiny night. I shall go back, I believe, on Monday. ‘Tis very late.

19. The Queen did not stir out to−day, she is in a little fit of the gout. I dined at Mr. Masham’s; we had none but our Society members, six in all, and I supped with Lord Treasurer. The Queen has ordered twenty thousand pounds to go on with the building at Blenheim, which has been starved till now, since the change of the Ministry.[13] I suppose it is to reward his last action of getting into the French lines.[14] Lord Treasurer kept me till past twelve.

London, 20. It rained terribly every step of our journey to−day: I returned with the Secretary after a dinner of cold meat, and went to Mrs. Van’s, where I sat the evening. I grow very idle, because I have a great deal of business. Tell me how you passed your time at Wexford; and are not you glad at heart you have got home safe to your lodgings at St. Mary’s, pray? And so your friends come to visit you; and Mrs. Walls is much better of her eye; and the Dean is just as he used to be: and what does Walls say of London? ’tis a reasoning coxcomb. And Goody Stoyte, and Hannah what d’ye call her; no, her name an’t Hannah, Catherine I mean; they were so glad to see the ladies again! and Mrs. Manley wanted a companion at ombre.

21. I writ to−day to the Archbishop of Dublin, and enclosed a long politic paper by itself. You know the bishops are all angry (smoke the wax−candle drop at the bottom of this paper) I have let the world know the First−Fruits were got by Lord Treasurer before the Duke of Ormond was Governor. I told Lord Treasurer all this, and he is very angry; but I pacified him again by telling him they were fools, and knew nothing of what passed here; but thought all was well enough if they complimented the Duke of Ormond. Lord Treasurer gave me t’other day a letter of thanks he received from the bishops of Ireland, signed by seventeen; and says he will write them an answer. The Dean of Carlisle sat with me to−day till three; and I went to dine with Lord LETTER 28.

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Treasurer, who dined abroad, so did the Secretary, and I was left in the suds. ‘Twas almost four, and I got to Sir Matthew Dudley, who had half dined. Thornhill, who killed Sir Cholmley Dering,[15] was murdered by two men, on Turnham Green, last Monday night: as they stabbed him, they bid him remember Sir Cholmley Dering. They had quarrelled at Hampton Court, and followed and stabbed him on horseback. We have only a Grub Street paper of it, but I believe it is true. I went myself through Turnham Green the same night, which was yesterday.

22. We have had terrible rains these two or three days. I intended to dine at Lord Treasurer’s, but went to see Lady Abercorn, who is come to town, and my lord; and I dined with them, and visited Lord Treasurer this evening. His porter is mending. I sat with my lord about three hours, and am come home early to be busy.

Passing by White’s Chocolate−house,[16] my brother Masham called me, and told me his wife was brought to bed of a boy, and both very well. (Our Society, you must know, are all brothers.) Dr. Garth told us that Mr.

Henley[17] is dead of an apoplexy. His brother−in−law, Earl Poulett, is gone down to the Grange, to take care of his funeral. The Earl of Danby,[18] the Duke of Leeds’s eldest grandson, a very hopeful young man of about twenty, is dead at Utrecht of the smallpox.I long to know whether you begin to have any good effect by your waters.Methinks this letter goes on slowly; ’twill be a fortnight next Saturday since it was begun, and one side not filled. O fie for shame, Presto! Faith, I’m so tosticated to and from Windsor, that I know not what to say; but, faith, I’ll go to Windsor again on Saturday, if they ask me, not else. So lose your money again, now you are come home; do, sirrah.

Take your magnifying−glass, Madam Dingley.

You shan’t read this, sirrah Stella; don’t read it for your life, for fear of your dearest eyes.

There’s enough for this side; these Ministers hinder me. Pretty, dear, little, naughty, saucy MD.

Silly, impudent, loggerhead Presto.

23. Dilly and I dined to−day with Lord Abercorn, and had a fine fat haunch of venison, that smelt rarely on one side: and after dinner Dilly won half a crown of me at backgammon at his lodgings, to his great content.

It is a scurvy empty town this melancholy season of the year; but I think our weather begins to mend. The roads are as deep as in winter. The grapes are sad things; but the peaches are pretty good, and there are some figs. I sometimes venture to eat one, but always repent it. You say nothing of the box sent half a year ago. I wish you would pay me for Mrs. Walls’s tea. Your mother is in the country, I suppose. Pray send me the account of MD, Madam Dingley, as it stands since November,[19] that is to say, for this year (excluding the twenty pounds lent Stella for Wexford), for I cannot look in your letters. I think I ordered that Hawkshaw’s interest should be paid to you. When you think proper, I will let Parvisol know you have paid that twenty pounds, or part of it; and so go play with the Dean, and I will answer your letter to− morrow. Good−night, sirrahs, and love Presto, and be good girls.

24. I dined to−day with Lord Treasurer, who chid me for not dining with him yesterday, for it seems I did not understand his invitation; and their Club of the Ministry dined together, and expected me. Lord Radnor[20]

and I were walking the Mall this evening; and Mr. Secretary met us, and took a turn or two, and then stole away, and we both believed it was to pick up some wench; and to−morrow he will be at the Cabinet with the Queen: so goes the world! Prior has been out of town these two months, nobody knows where, and is lately returned. People confidently affirm he has been in France, and I half believe it. It is said he was sent by the Ministry, and for some overtures towards a peace. The Secretary pretends he knows nothing of it. I believe your Parliament will be dissolved. I have been talking about the quarrel between your Lords and Commons with Lord Treasurer, and did, at the request of some people, desire that the Queen’s answer to the Commons’