The Journal to Stella by Jonathan Swift

I remember Ppt used to maunder, when I came from a great dinner, and DD had but a bit of mutton. I cannot endure above one dish; nor ever could since I was a boy, and loved stuffing. It was a fine day, which is a rarity with us, I assure [you]. Never fair two days together. Nite dee MD.

LETTER 61.[1]

213

The Journal to Stella

13. I had a rabble of Irish parsons this morning drinking my chocolate. I cannot remember appointments. I was to have supped last night with the Swedish Envoy at his house, and some other company, but forgot it; and he rallied me to−day at Lord Bolingbroke’s, who excused me, saying, the Envoy ought not to be angry, because I serve Lord Treasurer and him the same way. For that reason, I very seldom promise to go anywhere. I dined with Lord Treasurer, who chid me for being absent so long, as he always does if I miss a day. I sat three hours this evening with Lady Jersey; but the first two hours she was at ombre with some company. I left Lord Treasurer at eight: I fancied he was a little thoughtful, for he was playing with an orange by fits, which, I told him, among common men looked like the spleen. This letter shall not go to−morrow; no haste, ung oomens; nothing that presses. I promised but once in three weeks, and I am better than my word. I wish the peace may be ready, I mean that we have notice it is signed, before Tuesday; otherwise the grumbling will much increase. Nite logues.

14. It was a lovely day this, and I took the advantage of walking a good deal in the Park, before I went to Court. Colonel Disney, one of our Society, is ill of a fever, and, we fear, in great danger. We all love him mightily, and he would be a great loss. I doubt I shall not buy the library; for a roguey bookseller has offered sixty pounds more than I designed to give; so you see I meant to have a good bargain. I dined with Lord Treasurer and his Saturday company; but there were but seven at table. Lord Peterborrow is ill, and spits blood, with a bruise he got before he left England; but, I believe, an Italian lady he has brought over is the cause that his illness returns. You know old Lady Bellasis[22] is dead at last? She has left Lord Berkeley of Stratton[23] one of her executors, and it will be of great advantage to him; they say above ten thousand pounds. I stayed with Lord Treasurer upon business, after the company was gone; but I dare not tell you upon what. My letters would be good memoirs, if I durst venture to say a thousand things that pass; but I hear so much of letters opening at your post−office that I am fearful, etc., and so good−nite, sollahs, rove Pdfr, MD.

15. Lord Treasurer engaged me to dine with him again to−day, and I had ready what he wanted; but he would not see it, but put me off till to−morrow. The Queen goes to chapel now. She is carried in an open chair, and will be well enough to go to Parliament on Tuesday, if the Houses meet, which is not yet certain; neither, indeed, can the Ministers themselves tell; for it depends on winds and weather, and circumstances of negotiation. However, we go on as if it was certainly to meet; and I am to be at Lord Treasurer’s to−morrow, upon that supposition, to settle some things relating that way. Ppt[24] may understand me. The doctors tell me that if poor Colonel Disney does not get some sleep to−night, he must die. What care you? Ah! but I do care. He is one of our Society; a fellow of abundance of humour; an old battered rake, but very honest, not an old man, but an old rake. It was he that said of Jenny Kingdom,[25] the maid of honour, who is a little old, that, since she could not get a husband, the Queen should give her a brevet to act as a married woman. You don’t understand this. They give brevets to majors and captains to act as colonels in the army. Brevets are commissions. Ask soldiers, dull sollahs. Nite MD.

16. I was at Lord Treasurer’s before he came; and, as he entered, he told me the Parliament was prorogued till Thursday se’nnight. They have had some expresses, by which they count that the peace may be signed by that time; at least, that France, Holland, and we, will sign some articles, by which we shall engage to sign the peace when it is ready: but Spain has no Minister there; for Monteleon, who is to be their Ambassador at Utrecht, is not yet gone from hence; and till he is there, the Spaniards can sign no peace: and [of] one thing take notice, that a general peace can hardly be finished these two months, so as to be proclaimed here; for, after signing, it must be ratified; that is, confirmed by the several princes at their Courts, which to Spain will cost a month; for we must have notice that it is ratified in all Courts before we can proclaim it. So be not in too much haste. Nite MD.

17. The Irish folks were disappointed that the Parliament did not meet to− day, because it was St. Patrick’s Day; and the Mall was so full of crosses that I thought all the world was Irish. Miss Ashe is almost quite well, and I see the Bishop, but shall not yet go to his house. I dined again with Lord Treasurer; but the Parliament being prorogued, I must keep what I have till next week: for I believe he will not see it till just the evening LETTER 61.[1]

214

The Journal to Stella

before the session. He has engaged me to dine with him again to−morrow, though I did all I could to put it off; but I don’t care to disoblige him. Nite dee sollahs ’tis late. Nite MD.

18. I have now dined six days successively with Lord Treasurer; but to−night I stole away while he was talking with somebody else, and so am at liberty to− morrow. There was a flying report of a general cessation of arms: everybody had it at Court; but, I believe, there is nothing in it. I asked a certain French Minister how things went. And he whispered me in French, “Your Plenipotentiaries and ours play the fool.” None of us, indeed, approve of the conduct of either at this time; but Lord Treasurer was in full good−humour for all that.

He had invited a good many of his relations; and, of a dozen at table, they were all of the Harley family but myself. Disney is recovering, though you don’t care a straw. Dilly murders us with his IF puns. You know them. . . . [26] Nite MD.

19. The Bishop of Clogher has made an IF pun that he is mighty proud of, and designs to send it over to his brother Tom. But Sir Andrew Fountaine has wrote to Tom Ashe last post, and told him the pun, and desired him to send it over to the Bishop as his own; and, if it succeeds, ’twill be a pure bite. The Bishop will tell it us as a wonder that he and his brother should jump so exactly. I’ll tell you the pun:If there was a hackney coach at Mr. Pooley’s[27] door, what town in Egypt would it be? Why, it would be Hecatompolis; Hack at Tom Pooley’s. “Sillly,” says Ppt. I dined with a private friend to−day; for our Society, I told you, meet but once a fortnight. I have not seen Fanny Manley yet; I can’t help it. Lady Orkney is come to town: why, she was at her country house; hat[28] care you? Nite darling (?) dee MD.

20. Dilly read me a letter to−day from Ppt. She seems to have scratched her head when she writ it. ‘Tis a sad thing to write to people without tact. There you say, you hear I was going to Bath. No such thing; I am pretty well, I thank God. The town is now sending me to Savoy.[29] Forty people have given me joy of it, yet there is not the least truth that I know in it. I was at an auction of pictures, but bought none. I was so glad of my liberty, that I would dine nowhere; but, the weather being fine, I sauntered into the City, and ate a bit about five, and then supped at Mr. Burke’s[30] your Accountant− General, who had been engaging me this month.

The Bishop of Clogher was to have been there, but was hindered by Lord Paget’s[31] funeral. The Provost and I sat till one o’clock; and, if that be not late, I don’t know what is late. Parnell’s poem will be published on Monday, and to−morrow I design he shall present it to Lord Treasurer and Lord Bolingbroke at Court. The poor lad is almost always out of order with his head. Burke’s wife is his sister. She has a little of the pert Irish way. Nite MD.