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The Lighter Side By Keith Laumer

“Past time may be considered as one of the parts of the paper, future time as the other. Between them is . . . nothing.”

“Still, I’m sitting here eating my lunch. Now.”

“Your ability to conceptualize falls short of the ability of the universe to proliferate complexities. Human understanding can never be more than an approximation. Avoid dealing in absolutes. And never edit reality for the sake of simplicity. The results are fatal to logical thinking.”

Mina appeared on the terrace, wearing a close-fitting pink coverall and carrying foils and face masks. Chester finished his steak, pulled on a black coverall of tough resilient material, took the foil that Mina handed him.

Mina took her position, gripped her slender épée, arm and wrist straight, feet at right angles, left hand on hip. She tapped Chester’s blade, then with a sudden flick sent it flying into the pool.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Chester. You weren’t ready.”

Chester retrieved the foil, assumed a stance in imitation of Mina’s. They crossed blades—and Chester oofed as Mina’s point prodded his chest. Mina laughed merrily. Chester blushed.

On the third try Mina locked Chester’s blade with hers, then, with a twist, plucked it from his hand. “Chester”—she laughed—”you couldn’t be trying.” She laid her weapon aside and strolled off. Chester turned to Kuve, face red. Kuve stepped forward, motioned Chester into position.

“We’ll have half an hour each morning and another after lunch,” he said. “And,” he added softly, “perhaps you’ll have a surprise in store for Mina one of these days.”

* * *

Chester circled Kuve warily, bare feet shuffling on the padded mat. Kuve stepped in, his right hand flashing past Chester’s ribs and up to grasp Chester’s right wrist, forced back by Kuve’s left hand. Chester twirled, caught Kuve’s left hand, forced the wrist down. Kuve leaned to relieve the pressure, shifting his hold to Chester’s neck, then threw his hip against Chester’s side and heaved. In mid-air Chester brought a leg up, clipped Kuve’s jaw with his knee, twisted to land on all fours as Kuve’s grip slipped free. Kuve shook his head, looking surprised. “Was that an accident, or . . . ”

Chester hit him low, dodged left to avoid a headlock, clamped an arm over Kuve’s head and reached for an ankle—

And was upended and slammed on the mat. He sat up, rubbing his neck. Kuve nodded approvingly. “You’re coming along, Chester. If you hadn’t been careless with your footwork just now, you might have pinned me.”

“Maybe next time,” Chester said grimly.

“I seem to note a certain suppressed hostility in your tone,” Kuve said, eyeing Chester with amusement.

“Suppressed, hell. You’ve worked me like a rented heli for nine months.”

“Cheer up, Chester. I have a new compound-reaction test situation for you. It’s a very interesting problem group—but I warn you, it can be painful.”

“In that respect it fits in nicely with the over-all program.”

Chester followed Kuve across the terrace, through an arch, along a corridor, and out into an open court. Kuve pointed to a gate in the wall beyond which a patch of woods pressed close.

“Just go through the gate, Chester, and have a stroll in the forest. You’ll find paths; whether you use them is left entirely to your own discretion. This is a tongue of the forest that runs up into the hills. I don’t think you’ll be in danger of straying too far, for reasons which will become apparent once you’re in the forest—but nevertheless I’ll caution you to stay close. As soon as you’ve made what you consider to be a significant observation, return.”

Chester glanced toward the shadowed depths of the wood. “My first trip outside the prison grounds. Are you sure I won’t run away?”

“Impossible via this route, I’m afraid. If you get into trouble, remember I’ll be monitoring your communicator. Be back by dark.”

“When in doubt, I’ll remember the old school motto: Is-not is not not-is.” Chester turned down the path. “Don’t wait up for me. I may decide I like it out here.”

* * *

Chester moved along the path at a steady pace, his eyes roving over his surroundings in a wide-scope comparison pattern.

A movement caught his eye; Chester threw himself backward, feet high. A rope whipped across his calves; then the noose was dangling high in the air. Chester came to his feet carefully, searching for a backup trap, saw none. He studied the tree to which the rope was attached, then moved off the trail to a nearby oak, scaled it quickly, moved out on a long branch, then dropped into the trapped tree. He untied the rope, a tough quarter-inch synthetic, coiled it around his waist, then slid back to the ground.

He moved into the underbrush, froze at a sharp pain in the back of his hand. Carefully he disengaged himself from a loop of fine-gauge barbed wire. Selecting a strand between barbs, he bent it backward and forward rapidly until it parted. He repeated the process with other strands, then went to hands and knees and eased under the barrier.

Half an hour later Chester stood on the brink of a sheer bluff. Fifty feet below, a stream glinted in a shaft of sunlight that fell between great trees. Upstream, a still pool showed black among smooth boulders. Chester noted that its placement was identical with the four-foot target area into which he had been diving daily—an open invitation.

He lay flat and examined the cliff face. The broken rock surface offered an abundance of hand- and foot-holds. Perhaps too many . . .

It was forty feet to the spreading branches of a large elm growing on the opposite side of the stream. Chester uncoiled the rope from his waist, found a five-pound stone fragment with a pinched center, and tied it securely to the end of the supple line. He stood, whirled the stone around his head four times and let it fly. It arched across the branch, dropped and hung swinging. Gently, Chester pulled as the stone swung away, relaxed as it returned, pulled again. The oscillation built up. As the weight started its inward swing, Chester pulled sharply. The stone swung up and over, once, twice, three times around the branch. He tugged; all secure. Quickly he knotted his end of the rope about a length of fallen branch, then man-handled a two-hundred-pound boulder over it. He tested the attachment briefly, then crossed, hand over hand. He left the rope in place, descended to the edge of the quiet pool. Lifting a hundred-pound rock, he tossed it into the center of the black water. Instantly a large net, apparently spring-loaded, snapped into view, dripping water, to close over the stone. Chester smiled, raised his eyes to study the base of the cliff. Snarls of fine barbed wire guarded the lower six feet of the vertical rock face. It would have been an easy climb down, he reflected, but a long way back up.

The communicator behind his ear beeped. “Well, Chester, I see you’ve sprung the net at the pool. Don’t feel too badly; you did very well. I’ll be along to release you in a few minutes.”

Chester smiled again and turned back into the forest.

Chester studied the sun, briefly reviewed the route he had followed in four hours of detecting and avoiding Kuve’s traps. Sunset was just over an hour away, he judged, and he was three miles northwest by north from the Center. He halted, sniffing the air. The odor of wood-smoke was sharp among the milder scents of pine and juniper and sun-warmed rock. He had been climbing steadily for fifty minutes and was ready now to angle to the left to clear the upper end of a ravine. With each step the odor of smoke grew more noticeable. Now a soft gray wisp coiled from the shaded trunks ahead and above. Chester crouched low, moved on quickly. If there was a forest fire ahead, it would be necessary to get past it at once—before he was cut off from his route to the valley. He moved silently through sparse underbrush, saw through a gap in the trees a pale flicker of orange on the heights a hundred yards above. It would be close; he broke into a run.

The trees thinned. The tumbled rocks that marked the head of the gorge showed pale against the dark background of pines. A billow of smoke rolled toward him, carried by a down draft flowing into the canyon. Chester lay flat, drew a dozen deep breaths, then jumped up and scrambled over the broken rock. Ahead, fire twinkled among massive boles, flickered in whipping underbrush, leaped high in the crown of a pine. Hot sparks fell around him. He could hear the roar of wind-driven flames now. A sudden gust blew a wall of smoke toward him. It might be possible, he calculated, to round the knoll at the head of the rampart that edged his route on the right, then descend safely to emerge into the valley a mile north of the Center. There was no hope now of making it before dark. Chester worked his way higher. Another hundred yards—

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