The War of the Lance by Weis, Margaret

She didn’t, but only asked, “What’s it for?”

The gnome snorted. “It’s supposed to dowse for water,

but it’s hopeless. I can tolerate a few false starts, or a near

miss, or the occasional explosion or dismemberment, but

this – ”

“It doesn’t find any water, then?”

Standback said disgustedly, “Just diamonds, emeralds,

rubies, other rocks . . .” He shoved it aside with a kick.

Mara looked back at it longingly, but kept walking.

Leaning alongside a hanging drop cloth on the tunnel

wall was a human-size mannequin with some sort of

backpack on it.

“This,” Standback said as impressively as a gnome

can be, in brief, “is the Mighty Thunderpack.”

Mara examined the three nozzles connected to two

tanks and what looked like a fire-starting flint. Near the

top of the unit was also the now-familiar bulge of one of

Standback’s sensors. She gingerly touched the directional

fin, like a fish’s, on the Thunderpack. “How do you aim

it?”

Standback laughed tolerantly. “It’s not a weapon; it’s

personal troop transport.”

Mara put it on her shoulders. For metal work,

particularly for gnome metalwork, it was surprisingly

light. “Very impressive,” she said. She pictured an army

(led by herself, naturally) swooping through squadrons of

draconians and cutting them into small, non-combative

strips. “How does it start up?”

“From the mere touch of an iron weapon,” Standback

said proudly. “I used a special kind of rock in it. Do you

have a dagger?”

Mara hesitated.

“Come, come,” the gnome said impatiently. “All

thieves have daggers.”

Embarrassed, Mara handed him the paring knife she

had brought with her from her mother’s kitchen.

Standback took it and said, “When I wave this near the

sensor, the Mighty Thunderpack will burst into action.”

He tensed his arms and said in a melancholy voice, “Well,

good-bye.”

Mara, seeing the knife wave and noticing belatedly

Standback’s emphasis on “burst,” lurched forward out of

the way as Standback’s arm moved near. To her relief, the

Thunderpack did not activate. “What do you mean,

‘goodbye?’ Has this thing been tested before?” she

demanded.

“Of course, extensively. Just look in the side room.” The

gnome gestured to the left, behind the drop cloth that Mara

had assumed was hanging against the tunnel wall.

Mara lifted the cloth. Stacked floor to ceiling were the

charred arms and legs of test dummies. Not one torso

remained. “Has it ever been tested by a living person?”

“Of course not; why do you think – Oh, you mean, ‘by

someone living at the time he tested it.’ Yes, once.” Stand-

back looked solemn. “Poor fellow. And so young.”

Mara took off the Thunderpack, and, to her credit, she

was barely shaking. “What else do you have?”

“I have other transport devices.” He escorted her to

what he called, “a variation on the gnomeflinger. I named

it the Portapult.”

IT looked more like THEM. The Portapult consisted

of two gnomeflingers, ingeniously and intricately linked

by cable, chain, and several pieces of fine wire, for which

Mara could imagine no purpose.

Each gnomeflinger rested on six wheels on three

axles. The front axle had a built-in pivot and the pivot

axle of each gnomeflinger was connected to the other by

chain.

Standback followed Mara’s confused glance. “Oh,

they’re inseparable,” he said proudly. “Linked in frame,

function, and trigger. The Portapult breaks apart for

transport” – it looked as though it might break apart as he

spoke – “but it re-assembles for synchronized action. The

Portapult can deliver six soldiers simultaneously, send

them hundreds of feet through the air. . . .

“Isn’t it wonderful?” he finished huskily, and patted

one of the delivery platforms affectionately. The platform

shot upward and the Portapult spun sideways. An

identical platform on the second gnomeflinger shot

upward and that unit turned sideways as well – sideways

toward the first – and the two platforms met with a

SMACK that blew Standback’s hair straight behind him

and made Mara’s ears pop.

“I should check that trigger again,” he said

thoughtfully. “Also, perhaps, the targeting ratchets.”

He sat in a narrow seat beyond one of the platforms and

pedaled strenuously. A chain on a toothed gear cranked

down one platform; the other inched down in time with it.

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