I fingered the fabric of my gown nervously. I had bought it many years ago, because it was almost the blue of Avalon, and for the same reason rarely worn it. My thin woollen palla, of a darker blue, shadowed my face like a veil. Philip had not dared to question me. If we came home empty-handed he would think me mad, though he might doubt my sanity more were we to succeed.
There was no one guarding the gates to the palace. I directed my driver to a side door that I remembered from the one time I had accompanied Constantius on a visit to Britannia, descended, and slipped inside. The corridors showed the signs of a hasty departure.
I made my way swiftly to the suite of rooms that were normally occupied by the Governor, which I suspected Allectus had made his own.
And there, sitting alone in the great bed, half-dressed and staring, I found my black swan.
As I had expected, she was very lovely, with white skin and curling black hair that fell about her shoulders. And not as young as she had looked at first glance, for there were lines of bitterness at the corners of the full lips and shadows beneath the dark eyes.
“Teleri—”
It took a long moment, as if her spirit had been wandering, before she stirred. But her vague gaze focused as she saw the blue gown.
“Who are you?”
“A friend—you must come with me, Teleri. Gather up whatever you would take with you.”
“The servants took my jewels,” she whispered, “but they were not mine, but his. I have nothing… I am nothing, on my own.”
“Then come as you are, but quickly. The Caesar would do you no harm, but I do not think you would wish to be a trophy of his victory.”
“Why should I trust you? Everyone else has betrayed me, even Avalon.”
I was glad to see she retained some sense of self-preservation, but this was no time to waver. In the distance I could hear a sound like the surf on the shore and knew that the people of Londinium were cheering. I pulled back my palla so that she could see the faded crescent between my brows.
“Because I too was once a priestess. In the name of the Great Mother of us all, I beg you to come away.”
For a long moment we stayed with locked gaze. I do not know what she read in my eyes, but when I held out my hand and turned to go, Teleri gathered up one of the bedcovers for a mantle and followed me.
We were just in time. As my carriage creaked through the gate and turned down the side-road, from the direction of the forum I heard the blare of military clarions and the rhythmic slap of hobnailed sandals. My grip on the wooden seat of the waggon tightened until the knuckles showed white. The people were shouting—the words came clearer as we moved on:
‘Redditor Lucis, Redditor Lucis!’
Restorer of the Light…
My closed eyes could not shut out the brightness that was blossoming in my awareness. Constantius was coming, his presence a radiance in my soul. Did he feel that I was near, or were the responsibilities of his office and the tumult around him a sufficient distraction?
As the people of Londinium cried out in welcome to their saviour, my cheeks grew wet with silent tears.
* * *
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
« ^ »
AD 296-305
During the weeks that Constantius spent in Britannia I remained true to my vow and made no attempt to see him, but my self-discipline took its own toll. My woman’s courses, never regular, had almost ceased, and now a variety of other symptoms, from a pounding heart to waves of heat that left me drenched as if even my body were weeping, added to my misery.
Meanwhile the city was rejoicing at the word that Theodora had borne Constantius another child. I knew he had been devastated by our parting, but by now he must be appreciating the advantages of a wife who was royal, young and fertile. Prudence, which had kept me out of his sight before, gave way to despair.