When I became capable of coherent thought once more, the light that was filtering through the leaves of the bower was bright and golden, and I could hear the murmur of voices from outside.
“We should dress,” I murmured against his cheek. “The priestesses will be coming soon.”
His grip tightened suddenly. “Will I see you again?”
“I… do not know…” Yesterday, I had not really thought beyond the ritual. I had known I wanted Constantius, but I had not considered how difficult it would be, once I had lain with him, to let him go.
“Come with me—”
I shook my head, not in denial, but confusion. I believed that I had been justified in taking the place of the Beltane Bride because Constantius was the lover promised to me by my vision. But if that was so, then what of the images of foreign lands that I had seen? Much as I loved him, I did not want to leave Avalon.
“What does this mean to you?” Gently I brushed the sign of Mithras on his brow.
For a moment he looked taken aback. I waited as he struggled to frame an answer, understanding how deep was the inhibition against speaking of the Mysteries.
“It is a sign… of my devotion to the God of Light…” he said finally.
“As this sign signifies my own dedication to the Goddess—” I indicated the blue crescent between my own brows. “I am a priestess of Avalon, and bound by my vows.”
“Was it only obedience to your vows that brought you to me last night?” he asked, frowning.
“Can you truly think that, after this morning?” I tried to smile.
“Helena—I beg of you, let there always be truth between us!” His face had gone grim.
For a long moment I met his gaze, wondering how much I dared say. But surely he was going to hear about it as soon as I emerged from the bower and they saw it was not Aelia.
“I took the place of the priestess they meant for your bride. I have the Sight, and it showed me your face long ago. And then I was sent to bring you here, and… I began to love you…”
“You disobeyed?” In his face anxiety warred with satisfaction. “Will they punish you?”
“Even the Lady of Avalon cannot change what has happened between us,” I managed a smile. But we both knew that I had not really answered him.
There was a sound outside and I stiffened. Someone was knocking softly against the upright of the door.
“Eilan, can you hear me? Is the Roman asleep?”
It was Aelia’s voice, and I remembered suddenly that she had been told that after she lay with him she must make sure Constantius drank the contents of the silver flask in the corner so that he would sleep while she slipped away.
“Eilan, come quickly, and no one will—” She broke off with a gasp. I heard the sound of several people approaching, and the pit of my stomach went suddenly cold. With a leaden certainty I knew it would be Ganeda even before I heard the next words.
“Is she still sleeping? It would seem she did not fear a man’s touch so greatly after all. You will have to go in and wake her…” The laughter stilled. “Aelia!”
There was a short, charged, silence. As I started to drape the coverlet around me Constantius gripped my arm.
“You shall not face them alone—”
After a moment I nodded, and waited while he twisted my veil about his loins, reminding me of the statues I had seen in Londinium. One arm went protectively around me. With the other, he pushed aside the woven curtain that covered the doorway, and together we emerged into the uncompromising illumination of the new day.
It was worse than I had expected. Not only Ganeda and the priestesses, but Arganax and his Druids, were standing there. Aelia still crouched by the doorway, weeping silently. I reached down to touch her shoulder and she clung to me.
“I… see…” said the High Priestess in a voice like grating stones. She looked around her at the dancing floor, and I saw that the people who had dropped down to sleep there, in couples or alone, were beginning to awaken and cast curious glances at the scene by the bower. With an obvious effort she controlled the words that trembled on her lips.