“I am educated,” she snorted, very much annoyed with him.
“Then you know that with very small things, we cannot both know where they are and what they are doing. The act of observing them always changes what they are doing. Perhaps God does not look at us individually because to do so would interrupt our work, interfere with our free will… .”
“Is this doctrine, Father?” she asked doubtfully, annoyed, wondering what had come over him.
Another sigh. “No, Marjorie. It is the maundering of a homesick priest. Of course it isn’t doctrine You know your way around the catechism better than that.” He rubbed his head, thankful for the seal of the confessional. Even though Marjorie needed to take herself far less seriously, Father Sandoval would not appreciate what he had just said…
“If the plague kills us all, it will be because of our sins,” she said stubbornly. “Not because we didn’t fight it well enough. And our souls are immortal.”
“So Sanctity says. So the Moldies say,” he murmured. “They say we must all be killed off so our souls can live, in the New Creation.”
“I don’t mean we’re excused from fighting the plague,” she objected. “But it’s our sins that brought it on us.”
“Our sins? Yours and mine, Marjorie?
“Original sin,” she muttered. “Because of the sin of our first parents.” First parents very much like Rigo and Stella, passionately acting out whatever moved them, without thought. Even laughing, perhaps, as they tore the world apart. Never sober and reverent as they ought to be. Never peaceful. She sighed.
“Original sin?” the young priest asked, curious. At one time he had believed it without question, but he wasn’t sure anymore. There were some other catechetical things he wasn’t sure of, either. His doubt about doctrine should signal some crisis of faith, he thought, but his faith was as strong as it had ever been, even though his acceptance of details was wavering. “So you believe in original sin?”
“Father! It’s doctrine!”
“How about collective guilt? Do you believe in that?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are the bons guilty, collectively, for what happened to Janetta bon Maukerden?”
“Is that a doctrinal question?” she asked doubtfully.
“How about the Sanctified?” he asked. “Are they collectively guilty of condemning their boy children to prison? Young Rillibee, for example. Was he sent into servitude because of collective guilt, or because of original sin?”
“I’m an Old Catholic. I don’t have to decide where Sanctity went wrong, so long as I know it did!”
He kept himself from laughing. Oh, if only Marjorie had more humor. If Rigo had more patience. If Stella had more perception. If Tony had more confidence—And if Eugenie had more intelligence. Never mind their sins, just give them more of what they needed.
He sighed, rubbing the sides of his forehead to make the sullen ache go away, then gave her both absolution and a reasonable penance. She was to accept that Rigo would ride to hounds and she was to try not to judge him harshly. Father Sandoval had been sentencing Marjorie to affectionate support for years. Father James thought affectionate support was probably a bit much Marjorie, repentant but weary, ready to grit her teeth over yet another session of affectionate support, was surprised enough by the penance to accept it. She wouldn’t judge Rigo, but she needn’t support him, either. It was not until later, as evening drew on, that she remembered what Father James had said about thinking viruses and guilt and sin. Once she began considering the questions he had asked, she could not get them out of her mind.
In the chapel, meantime, Father James knelt to beg forgiveness for himself. It had been wicked of him to challenge Marjorie’s faith when what he was really wanting was to shore up his own. He was not at all sure that being nonjudgmental about Rigo was a good thing for Marjorie to do. If what the bons were doing was sinful, then Rigo had no business doing it at all. Rigo had convinced himself he was joining the bons in their obsession out of a sense of duty. Father James thought ego was the more likely reason, and Father Sandoval was too set in his ways to offer anything but cliches. Father James wished for Brother Mainoa to talk with. Or the younger one, Lourai. He had a feeling they shared a good many things besides their age.