She said, The first time Bob played, we won five hundred dollars on a Pick 3. It was so romantic. Monette shook his head. After that, the romance stayed, but the winning pretty much stopped. That was what she said. She said once they won a thousand, but by then they were already thirty thousand in the bucket. In the bucket is what she called it.
One timethis was in January, while I was out on the road trying to earn back the price of the cashmere coat I got her for Christmasshe said they went up to Derry and spent a couple of days. I dont know if theyve got line dancing up there or not, I never checked, but theyve got a place called Hollywood Slots. They stayed in a suite, ate high off the hogshe said high off the hogand dropped seventy-five hundred playing video poker. But, she said, they didnt like that so much. Mostly they just stuck to the lottery, plugging in more and more of the SADs dough, trying to get even before the state auditors came and the roof fell in. And every now and then, of course, shed buy some new underwear. A girl wants to be fresh when shes buying Powerball tix at the local 7-Eleven.
You all right, buddy?
There was no response from his passengerof course notso Monette reached out and shook the mans shoulder. The hitcher lifted his head from the window (his forehead had left a greasy mark on the glass) and looked around, blinking his red-rimmed eyes as if he had been asleep. Monette didnt think hed been asleep. No reason why, just a feeling.
He made a thumb-and-forefinger circle at the hitchhiker, then raised his eyebrows.
For a moment the hitcher only looked blank, giving Monette time to think the guy was bull-stupid as well as deaf-mute. Then he smiled and nodded and returned the circle.
Okay, Monette said. Just checking.
The man leaned his head back against the window again. In the meantime, the guys presumed destination, Waterville, had slid behind them and into the rain. Monette didnt notice. He was still living in the past.
If it had been just lingerie and the kind of lottery games where you pick a bunch of numbers, the damage might have been limited, he said. Because playing the lottery that way takes time. It gives you a chance to come to your senses, always presuming you have any to come to. You have to stand in line and collect the slips and save them in your wallet. Then you have to watch TV or check the paper for the results. It might still have been okay. If, that is, you can call anything okay about your wife catting around with a stoneboat-dumb history teacher and flushing thirty or forty thousand dollars worth of the school districts money down the shitter. But thirty grand I might have been able to cover. I could have taken out a second mortgage on the house. Not for Barb, no way, but for Kelsie Ann. A kid just starting out in life doesnt need a stinking fish like that around her neck. Restitution is what they call it. I would have made restitution even if it meant living in a two-bedroom apartment. You know?
The hitchhiker obviously didnt knownot about beautiful young daughters just starting out in life, or second mortgages, or restitution. He was warm and dry in his dead-silent world, and that was probably better.
Monette plowed forward nonetheless.
Thing is, there are quicker ways to chuck your money, and its as legal as as buying underwear.
9
They moved on to scratch tickets, didnt they? the priest asked. What the Lottery Commission calls instant winners.
You speak like a man whos had a flutter himself, Monette said.
From time to time, the priest agreed, and with an admirable lack of hesitation. I always tell myself that if I should ever get a real golden ticket, Id put all the money into the church. But I never risk more than five dollars a week. This time there was hesitation. Sometimes ten. Another pause. And once I bought a twenty-dollar scratch, back when they were new. But that was a momentary madness. I never did it again.
At least not so far, Monette said.
The priest chuckled. The words of a man who has truly had his fingers burned, son. He sighed. Im fascinated by your story, but I wonder if we could move it along a bit faster? My company will wait while I do the Lords work, but not forever. And I believe were having chicken salad, heavy on the mayo. A favorite of mine.
Theres not much more, Monette said. If youve played, youve got the gist of it. You can buy the scratch tickets at all the same places you can buy the Powerball and Megabucks tickets, but you can also buy them at a lot of other places, including turnpike rest stops. You dont even need to do business with a clerk; you can get them from a machine. The machines are always green, the color of money. By the time Barb came clean
By the time she confessed, the priest said, with what might have been a touch of actual slyness.
Yes, by the time she confessed, theyd pretty much settled on the twenty-dollar scratch-offs. Barb said she never bought any when she was on her own, but when she was with Cowboy Bob, theyd buy a lot. Hoping for that big score, you know. Once she said they bought a hundred of those puppies in a single night. Thats two thousand dollars worth. They got back eighty. They each had their own little plastic ticket scratcher. They look like snow scrapers for elves and have MAINE STATE LOTTERY written on the handle. Theyre green, like the vending machines that sell the tickets. She showed me hersit was under the guest room bed. You couldnt make out anything except TERY on it. Could have been MYSTERY instead of LOTTERY. The sweat from her palm had wiped out all the rest.
Son, did you strike her? Is that why youre here?
No, Monette said. I wanted to kill her for itthe money, not the cheating, the cheating part just seemed unreal, even with all that fuh all that underwear right in front of my eyes. But I didnt lay so much as a finger on her. I think it was because I was too tired. All that information had just tired me out. What I wanted to do was take a nap. A long one. Maybe a couple of days long. Is that strange?
No, the priest said.
I asked her how she could do something like that to me. Did she care so little? And she asked
10
She asked me how come I didnt know, Monette told the hitchhiker. And before I could say anything, she answered herself, so I guess it was a whatchacallit, a rhetorical question. She said, You didnt know because you didnt care. You were almost always on the road, and when you werent on the road, you wanted to be on the road. Its been ten years since you cared what underwear I have onwhy would you, when you dont care about the woman inside it? But you care now, dont you? You do now.
Man, I just looked at her. I was too tired to kill heror even slap herbut I was mad, all right. Even through the shock, I was mad. She was trying to make it my fault. You see that, dont you? Trying to lay it all off on my fucking job, as if I could get another one that paid even half as much. I mean, at my age what else am I qualified for? I guess I could get a job as school crossing guardI dont have any morals busts in my pastbut that would be about it.
He paused. Far down the road, still mostly hidden by a shifting camisole of rain, was a blue sign.
He considered, then said, But even that wasnt the real point. You want to know the point? Her point? I was supposed to feel guilty for liking my job. For not drudging through my days until I found the right person to go absolutely fucking bombers with!
The hitcher stirred a little, probably only because theyd hit a bump (or run over some roadkill), but it made Monette realize he was shouting. And hey, the guy might not be completely deaf. Even if he was, he might feel vibrations in the bones of his face once sounds passed a certain decibel level. Who the fuck knew?
I didnt get into it with her, Monette said in a lower voice. I refused to get into it with her. I think I knew that if I did, if we really started to argue, anything might happen. I wanted to get out of there while I was still in shock because that was protecting her, see?