Afterward, temporarily tranquilized and permanently traumatized, they spent a brief convalescence in somewhat modified luxury before being returned home, along with Bert Shipton, who had been fed and housed in much less luxury during his stay on the planet.
Senator Byron Morse, Dink Dinklemier, and Prentice Arthur were dropped off on Morse’s doorstep shortly after Christmas, a little over a year after they left home. They entered to find the house empty and dusty. A note on the coffee table was dated a full year before:
“By . . . don’t know when you’re getting back. The Pistach say when you’ve had a baby. I thought we covered that in prenup! Funny, huh? The governor appointed a replacement for you in the Senate since you had less than two years and were going to be gone over a year of it. She’s a Democrat, wouldn’t that frost you? When those Inkleo-whatsits said they’d be using you and the other pro-life people asbrooders whenever they needed to, most states chose pro-choice or women candidates instead. Like you always used to say, motherhood and careers don’t mix!
“Still, it’s not the end of the world. Your old law partner called. He’s wanting you to come back to work, filing class actions against the Pistach. Guns have taken to shooting the shooter instead of the shootee, usually some guy trying to rob a liquor store, though the other day it was some high school kid trying to knock off his teachers, and some munitions people are claiming interference with trade. I’m going down to Mexico for the holidays, with Mama. Acapulco, maybe. Get a little sun, a little relaxation. I’ll go on back to Baltimore with her. No point my staying here all alone in this house. When you come in, call me. Let me know how you are. Love, Lupe.”
He poured himself a scotch, and invited the others to partake while he went back to the kitchen to call Janet and ask about the boys.
“I just got back,” he said.
“I figured it would be any time now,” she said in a dry voice, totally unlike herself. “It must have been a terrible experience for you.
“I don’t remember anything about it,” he lied.
“Lucky you,” she remarked. “I remember all about my pregnancies, one right after the other. I had no rest between times at all, even though you hated it when I was pregnant! It really surprised me when you let that ET get to you.”
“I didn’t let her. That’s not true! I was raped,” he cried.
“Oh, come on, By. Raped? Did you call for help? Did you fight?”
He snarled, “I was in no condition to do either. You think I’d have done this willingly? My life has been completely disrupted.”
She chuckled, a totally unfamiliar sound. “Well, so was mine, over and over.”
“No, Janet, it’s not the same thing, that was your duty, but I’ve been robbed of my life. I’ve been forced to continue a pregnancy I didn’t want.”
“It was only an inconvenience, By.” She laughed. “You wouldn’t let me have that excuse.”
“Janet, damn it, stop laughing! I want to talk to the boys.”
“Stop laughing? By, when I heard you were pregnant, the load seemed to drop from my shoulders. You know, I giggled for two solid days, and I haven’t been hungry since. I’ve dropped fifty pounds, I’ve got a good job, and the boys tell me I look great. I’ll ask the boys to call you, By, but they were so embarrassed, your being pregnant by an ET, I’m not sure they’ll do it anytime soon. I sent you a letter. Lupe said she put it on your bedside table.”
Before he could bellow, she had hung up on him. He went upstairs, found the dusty letter and opened it: just a line of text and a photograph. He stared at it.
Dink called from the foot of the stairs. “By? You all right?”
“Get out,” the senator yelled. “You and Arthur get out of here. I want to be by myself!”
He heard the door shut behind them. Janet looked marvelous in the picture. God, he didn’t remember she’d ever looked like that. And the boys . . . the two boys. They looked so much like her. They didn’t look anything like him. Why hadn’t he seen that? They didn’t look anything like him at all! And that horrible squirming thing on Inkleoza hadn’t looked like him either!