“The instruments in the carton you have just received are units in a new system designed by the ET’s to provide you with better tools for your work. All illicit drugs entering the U.S. will henceforth emit a harmless form of radiation which can be picked up by the devices you are now examining. To turn on the device, simply press the button on the right side. A small light will flash at the bottom of the dial indicating your position. The dial is the area in front of you. If there are illicit drugs in the area, the light will split into two, white and red, and the red light will move in the direction of the drugs. At the same time, the hand will move through the green zone toward the red zone.
“As you move in the direction indicated by red light, the two lights will come closer together. When the two lights converge, this indicates you are standing upon or at the drugs in question. Touch the device for three seconds to whatever person, container, vehicle or surface is nearest. If there are several persons or things, touch each in turn. If the thing or person touched is or has been carrying drugs, the hand will move into the red zone of Probable Cause. When the hand reaches Probable Cause, the causometer also records and emits data regarding the time, the geographical and physical location, the identities of all persons in the immediate vicinity as well as the type and quantity of drug present. This information is then sent to you in official form.
“Though the radiation is harmless, it does accumulate in persons, vehicles, or buildings repeatedly exposed to the manufacture, storage, transport, or sale of illicit drugs. The higher the reading, the more involvement there has been. A reading of four or higher indicates consistent and continuous presence of illicit material. If drugs have been dropped or deposited in a noncontiguous location, press the button on the left side, then apply the meter to the drugs first, and then to persons one at a time. DNA traces on the drugs or their packaging will be matched to the person who carried or processed them. The meter will sound an audible alarm when the right person is identified.”
McClellan had been reading over his shoulder. “They’re kidding.”
“Somebody’s idea of a joke,” the captain muttered, tapping the gadget on his desktop. “Just for the hell of it, let’s try it. Go down to the evidence locker and bring up some stuff. Any stuff. Hide it out there and yell.”
“You mean, now?”
“No, McClellan. Next Tuesday. Of course I mean now!”
Fifteen minutes later, responding to McClellan’s hail, the captain, device on his wrist, eased out of his office observed by a sniggering clutch of on and off duty cops. He pushed the right button, blinked for a moment, moved to his left, touched a desk. The needle went to red three, moving to four as he opened a drawer and took out a plastic packet with an evidence tag on it. The light had begun blinking again. He went left, right, straight ahead, uncovering five more packets of varying substances. The audience of cops, who had stopped sniggering when the first package was found, mostly had their mouths open.
“It’s like a sniffer dog on your arm,” said one.
“You got ‘em all, Boss,” said McClellan.
“No, there’s more,” said the captain, still moving, bumping into an off duty cop who was standing in the door. “Sorry, Stevens.” He went around him, stopped, turned around, came back, reached out and touched Stevens with the device. The needle hit the five.
“Hey, what’s this,” Stevens blurted, turning brick red.
The captain stared at the dial which was giving him an unequivocal “Probable Cause.” “Search him,” he said to McClellan. “Now.”
“Oh, come on, Captain,” Stevens cried.
“Do it, damn it.”
They found the packet of cocaine stuffed under his belt, in back, where Stevens had put it when he came off duty at the evidence locker. He hadn’t even taken the trouble to remove the evidence tag. While they were still standing around, muttering about it, the clerk brought a fax that had just printed out. Headed with an official-looking letterhead, it gave the date, time, location, amount and type of drugs in each discovery, place found or person in possession, list of all other persons present, and a cryptic signature.