The Star Beast by Robert A. Heinlein

“Ten o’clock, Mr. Commissioner. I suppose we had better get started.”

“No hurry,” Greenberg answered absent-mindedly, “since the party can’t start until we get there. I’m interested in this line of investigation. Mr. Stuart, what is Lummox’s R.I.Q. on the human scale?”

“Huh? Oh, his relative intelligence quotient. I don’t know, sir.”

“Good gracious, hasn’t anyone ever tried to find out?”

“Well, no, sir. . . I mean ‘yes, sir.’ Somebody did run some tests on him back in my grandfather’s time, but granddad got so sore over the way they were treating Lummie that he chucked them out. Since then we’vc kept strangers away from Lummie, mostly. But he’s real bright. Try him.”

Judge O’Farrell whispered to Greenberg, “The brute isn’t as bright as a good bird dog, even if he can parrot human speech a little. I know.”

John Thomas said indignantly, “I heard that, Judge. You’re just prejudiced!”

The judge started to answer but Betty cut across him. “Johnnie! You know what I told you. . . I’ll do the talking.”

Greenberg ignored the interruption. “Has any attempt been made to learn his language?”

“Sir?”

“Mmm, apparently not. And he may have been brought here before he was old enough to talk. . . his own language I mean. But he must have had one; it’s a truism among xenists that speech centers are found only in nervous systems that use them. That is to say, he could not have learned human speech as speech even poorly, unless his own breed used oral communication. Can he write?”

“How could he, sir? He doesn’t have hands.”

“Mmm, yes. Well, taking a running jump with the aid of theory, I’ll bet on a relative score of less than 40, then. Xenologists have found that high types, equivalent to humans, always have three characteristics: speech centers, manipulation, and from these two, record keeping. So we can assume that Lummox’s breed was left at the post. Studied any xenology?”

“Not much, sir,” John Thomas admitted shyly, “except books I could find in the library. But I mean to major in xenology and exotic biology in college.”

“Good for you. It’s a wide open field. You’d be surprised how difficult it is to hire enough xenists just for DepSpace. But my reason for asking was this: as you know, the department has intervened in this case. Because of him.” Greenberg gestured at Lummox. “There was a chance that your pet might be of a race having treaty rights with us. Once or twice, strange as it may seem, a foreigner visiting this planet has been mistaken for a wild animal, with. . . shall we say ‘unfortunate’ results?” Greenberg frowned, recalling the terrible hushed-up occasion when a member of the official family of the Ambassador from Llador had been found, dead and stuffed-in a curiosity shop in the Virgin Islands. “But no such hazard exists here.”

“Oh. I guess not, sir. Lummox is. . . well, he’s just a member of our family.”

“Precisely.” The Commissioner spoke to Judge O’Farrell. “May I consult you a moment, Judge? Privately?”

“Certainly, sir.”

The men moved, away; Betty joined John Thomas. “It’s a cinch,” she whispered, “if you can keep from making more breaks.”

“What did I do?” he protested. “And what makes you think it’s going to be easy?”

“It’s obvious. He likes you, he likes Lummox.”

“I don’t see how that pays for the ground floor of the Bon Marché. Or all those lamp posts.”

“Just keep your blood pressure down and follow my lead. Before we are through, they’ll be paying us. You’ll see.”

A short distance away Mr. Greenberg was saying to Judge O’Farrell, “Judge, from what I have learned it seems to me that the Department of Spatial Affairs should withdraw from this case.”

“Eh? I don’t follow you, sir.”

“Let me explain. What I would like to do is to postpone the hearing twenty-four hours while I have my conclusions checked by the department. Then I can withdraw and let the local authorities handle it. Meaning you, of course.”

Judge O’Farrell pursed his lips. “I don’t like last-minute postponements, Mr. Commissioner. It has always seemed unfair to me to order busy people to gather together, to their expense and personal inconvenience, then tell them to come back another day. It doesn’t have the flavor of justice.”