The Star Beast by Robert A. Heinlein

“What do you mean?. . . ‘unless’?”

“Unless we put Humpty-Dumpty together again.”

“Uh, how? Now look, Wes, I’ll do anything within reason.”

“You sure will.” Robbins frowned. “There’s the obvious way. We can serve Henry’s head up on a platter. Blame that interview yesterday on him. He gave you bad advice. He’s been fired and all is sweetness and light.”

Mr. Kiku nodded. “That’s how I had envisioned it. I’d be happy to cooperate. . . provided my advice is taken on how to conclude the Hroshii affair.”

“Don’t look relieved, Mac!” Robbins growled. “That’s the obvious solution and it would work. . . because Henry is loyal to something bigger than he is. But that is not what we are going to do.”

“But, if Henry is willing, then in the best interests-”

“Stow it. It won’t be Henry’s head on the platter; it will be yours.”

Their eyes locked. At last MacClure said, “If that is your scheme, Robbins, forget it and get out. If you are looking for a fight, you’ll get one. The first story to break will be about how I had to fire you two for disloyalty and incompetence.”

Robbins grinned savagely. “I hope you play it that way. I’ll have fun. But do you want to hear how it could be worked?”

“Well. . . go ahead.”

“You can make it easy or hard. Either way, you are through. Now. . . keep quiet and let me tell it! You’re done, Mac. I don’t claim to be a scholar of xenic affairs, but even I can see that civilization can’t afford your county-courthouse approach to delicate relations with non-human races. . So you’re through. The question is: do you do it the hard way? Or do you go easy on yourself and get a nice puff in the history books?”

MacClure glowered but did not interrupt. “Force me to spill what I know, and one of two things happens. Either the Secretary General throws you to the wolves, or he decides to back you up and risk a vote of ‘no confidence’ from the Council. Which is what he would get. The Martian Commonwealth would gleefully lead the stampede, Venus would follow, the outer colonies and the associated xenic cultures would join in. At the end you would have most of the Terran nations demanding that the North American Union surrender this one individual to avert a bust-up of the Federation.

“All you have to do is to shove the first domino; all the others would fall. . . and you would be buried under the pile. You couldn’t be elected dogcatcher. But the easy way runs like this. You resign. . . but we don’t publish the fact, not for a couple of weeks. . . Henry, do you think two weeks will be long enough?”

“It should be ample,” Mr. Kiku agreed gravely.

“During that time you don’t wipe your nose without Henry’s permission. You don’t say a word unless I okay it. Then you resign in a blaze of glory, with the conclusion of the Hroshian Affair to crown your career. Possibly some way can be found to kick you upstairs to a gaudier job. . . if you are a good boy. Eh, Henry?”

Mr. Kiku nodded.

MacClure looked around from Kiku’s expressionless face to Robbins’ contemptuous one. “You two have it neatly plotted,” he said bitterly. ‘Suppose I told you both to go to the devil?”

Robbins yawned. ‘It won’t matter in the long run, believe me. After the administration falls, the new Secretary General will call Henry out of retirement, a safe man will be stuck in your place, and Henry will get on with outmaneuvering the Hroshii. Probably lose three days maybe less. Whitewashing you is harder, but we meant to give you a break. Right, Henry?”

“It would be better so. Dirty linen is best kept in a cupboard.”

MacClure chewed his lip. “I’ll think it over.”

“Good! And I’ll wait while you do. Henry, why don’t you get back to work? I’ll bet that trick desk is lighted up like a Christmas tree.”

“Very well.” Mr. Kiku left the room.

His desk did look like a fireworks celebration, with three blinking red lights and a dozen amber ones. He disposed of urgent matters, brushed off lesser ones, and began to reduce the stack in his basket, signing without bothering to consider whether his signature continued to carry authority.