“The last time I saw her,” I said bitterly, ‘she’d been raped and had lost an eye.”
“These things happen,” Merlin said carelessly.
His callousness took my breath away. I waited, then again asked him what was so important about the scroll.
He sighed. “You are an importunate creature, Derfel. Well, I shall indulge you.” He let go of the manuscript so that it rolled itself up, then leaned back on the shipmaster’s damp and threadbare pillows. “You know, of course, who Caleddin was?”
“No, Lord,” I admitted.
He threw his hands up in despair. “Are you not ashamed of your ignorance, Derfel? Caleddin was a Druid of the Ordovicii. A wretched tribe, and I should know. One of my wives was an Ordoviciian and one such creature was sufficient for a dozen lifetimes. Never again.” He shuddered at the memory, then peered up at me. “Gundleus raped Nimue, right?”
“Yes.” I wondered how he knew.
“Foolish man! Foolish man!” He seemed amused rather than angry at his lover’s fate. “How he will suffer. Is Nimue angry?”
“Furious.”
“Good. Fury is very useful, and dear Nimue has a talent for it. One of the things I can’t stand about Christians is their admiration of meekness. Imagine elevating meekness into a virtue! Meekness! Can you imagine a heaven filled only with the meek? What a dreadful idea. The food would get cold while everyone passed the dishes to everyone else. Meekness is no good, Derfel. Anger and selfishness, those are the qualities that make the world march.” He laughed. “Now, about Caleddin. He was a fair Druid for an Ordoviciian, not nearly as good as me, of course, but he had his better days. I did enjoy your attempt to murder Lancelot, by the way, a pity you didn’t finish the job. I suppose he escaped from the city?”
“As soon as it was doomed, yes.”
“Sailors say rats are always first off the doomed ship. Poor Ban. He was a fool, but a good fool.”
“Did he know who you were?” I asked.
“Of course he knew,” Merlin said. “It would have been monstrously rude of me to have deceived my host. He didn’t tell anyone else, of course, otherwise I’d have been besieged by those dreadful poets all asking me to use magic to make their wrinkles disappear. You’ve no idea, Derfel, how bothersome a little magic can be. Ban knew who I was, and so did Caddwg. He’s my servant. Poor Hywel’s dead, yes?”
“If you already know,” I said, ‘why do you ask?”
“I’m just making conversation!” he protested. “Conversation is one of the civilized arts, Derfel. We can’t all stump through life with a sword and shield, growling. A few of us do try to preserve the dignities.” He sniffed.
“So how do you know Hywel’s dead?” I asked.
“Because Bed win wrote and told me, of course, you idiot.”
“Bedwin’s been writing to you all these years?” I asked in astonishment.
“Of course! He needed my advice. What do you think I did? Vanish?”
“You did,” I said resentfully.
“Nonsense. You simply didn’t know where to look for me. Not that Bedwin took my advice about anything. What a mess the man has made! Mordred alive! Pure foolishness. The child should have been strangled with his own birth cord, but I suppose Uther could never have been persuaded of that. Poor Uther. He believed that virtues are handed down through a man’s loins! What nonsense! A child is like a calf; if the thing is born crippled you knock it smartly on the skull and serve the cow again. That’s why the Gods made it such a pleasure to engender children, because so many of the little brutes have to be replaced. There’s not much pleasure in the process for women, of course, but someone has to suffer and thank the Gods it’s them and not us.”
“Did you ever have children?” I asked, wondering why I had never thought to enquire before.
“Of course I did! What an extraordinary question.” He gazed at me as though he doubted my sanity. “I never liked any of them very much and happily most of them died and the rest I’ve disowned. One, I think, is even a Christian.” He shuddered. “I much prefer other people’s children; they’re so much more grateful. Now what were we talking about? Oh yes, Caleddin. Terrible man.” He shook his head gloomily.