“To be a king?” I dared to ask, for stating such an ambition was counter to everything Arthur claimed about his destiny.
But Arthur took no offence at my words. “To be a ruler,” he said. He had stopped again and was staring over the dark cloaked shapes of his sleeping men at the stone in the circle’s centre, and to me it seemed as if the slab of rock shimmered in the moonlight, or perhaps that was just my heightened imagination. “Merlin made me strip naked and stand on that stone all night long,” Arthur went on. “There was rain on the wind and it was cold. He chanted spells and made me hold the sword at arm’s length and keep it there. I remember my arm was like fire and then at last it went numb, but still he would not let me drop Caledfwlch. “Hold it!” he shouted at me, “hold it,” and I stood there, quivering while he summoned the dead to witness his gift. And they came, Derfel, rank on rank of the dead, warriors with empty eyes and rusted helmets who rose from the Otherworld to see the sword given to me.” He shook his head at the memory. “Or perhaps I just dreamed those worm-eaten men. I was young, you see, and very impressionable, and Merlin does know how to put the fear of the Gods into young minds. Once he’d scared me with the throng of dead witnesses, though, he told me how to lead men, how to find warriors who need leaders and how to fight battles. He told me my destiny, Derfel.” He fell silent again, his long face very grim in the moonlight. Then he smiled ruefully. “All nonsense.”
His last two words had been spoken so softly that I had almost not heard them. “Nonsense?” I asked, unable to hide my disapproval.
“I am to yield Britain back to her Gods,” Arthur said, mocking the duty by the tone of his voice.
“You will, Lord,” I said.
He shrugged. “Merlin wanted a strong arm to hold a good sword,” he said, ‘but what the Gods want, Derfel, I do not know. If they want Britain, why do they need me? Or Merlin? Do Gods need men? Or are we like dogs barking for masters who don’t want to listen?”
“We aren’t dogs,” I said. “We’re the creatures of the Gods. They must have a purpose for us.”
“Must they? Maybe we just make them laugh.”
“Merlin says we’ve lost touch with the Gods,” I said stubbornly.
“Just as Merlin has lost touch with us,” Arthur said firmly. “You saw how he ran from Durnovaria that night you returned from Ynys Trebes. Merlin is too busy, Derfel. Merlin is chasing his Treasures of Britain and what we do in Dumnonia is of no consequence to him. I could make a great kingdom for Mordred, I could establish justice, I could bring peace, I could have Christians and pagans dancing in the moonlight together and none of that would interest Merlin. Merlin only yearns for the moment when all of it is given back to the Gods, and when that moment comes he’ll demand I give Caledfwlch back to him. That was his other condition. I could take the sword of the Gods, he said, so long as I gave it back when he needed it.”
He had spoken with a trace of mockery that had disturbed me. “Don’t you believe in Merlin’s dream?” I asked.
“I believe Merlin is the wisest man in Britain,” Arthur said seriously, ‘and that he knows more than I might ever hope to know. I also know that my fate is twisted into his, just as yours, I think, is twisted into Nimue’s, but I also think that Merlin was bored from the moment he was born, so Merlin is doing what the Gods do. He is amusing himself at our expense. Which means, Derfel, that when the moment comes to return Caledfwlch it will be at a time when I need the sword most.”
“So what will you do?”
“I have no idea. None.” He seemed to find that thought amusing for he smiled, then put a hand on my shoulder. “Go and sleep, Derfel. I need your tongue tomorrow and I don’t want it slurred by tiredness.”