Hornblower wanted to be alone; the idea of visiting the naval coffee house to-night — for the first time in five years — had no appeal for him, especially as he felt suddenly self-conscious in his ribbon and star. Even at the hotel it was bad enough, with host and boots and chambermaid all unctuously deferential with their “Yes, Sir Horatio” and “No, Sir Horatio”, making a procession out of Lighting him up to his room, and fluttering round him to see that he had all he wanted, when all he wanted now was to be left in peace.
There was little enough peace for him, all the same, when he climbed into bed. Resolutely as he put out of his mind all recollection of the wild doings of the day, he could not stop himself thinking about the fact that to-morrow he would be seeing his son and Lady Barbara. He spent a restless night.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Sir Horatio Hornblower,” announced the butler, holding open the door for him.
Lady Barbara was there; it was a surprise to see her in black — Hornblower had been visualizing her as dressed in the blue gown she had worn when last he had seen her, the grey-blue which matched her eyes. She was in mourning now, of course, for Leighton had been dead less than a year still. But the black dress suited her well — her skin was creamy white against it. Hornblower remembered with a strange pang the golden tang of her cheeks in those old days on board the Lydia.
“Welcome,” she said, her hands outstretched to him. They were smooth and cool and delicious — he remembered their touch of old. “The nurse will bring Richard directly. Meanwhile, my heartiest congratulations on your success.”
“Thank you,” said Hornblower. “I was extremely lucky, ma’am.”
“The lucky man,” said Lady Barbara, “is usually the man who knows how much to leave to chance.”
While he digested this statement he stood awkwardly looking at her. Until this moment he had forgotten how Olympian she was, what self-assurance — kindly self-assurance — she had, which raised her to inaccessible heights and made him feel like a loutish schoolboy. His knighthood must appear ridiculously unimportant to her, the daughter of an earl, the sister of a marquis and of a viscount who was well on his way towards a dukedom. He was suddenly acutely conscious of his elbows and hands.
His awkwardness only ended with the opening of the door and the entrance of the nurse, plump and rosy in her ribboned cap, the baby held to her shoulder. She dropped a curtsey.
“Hullo, son,” said Hornblower, gently.
He did not seem to have much hair yet, under his little cap, but there were two startling brown eyes looking out at his father; nose and chin and forehead might be as indeterminate as one would expect in a baby, but there was no ignoring those eyes.
“Hullo, baby,” said Hornblower, gently, again.
He was unconscious of the caress in his voice. He was speaking to Richard as years before he had spoken to little Horatio and little Maria. He held up his hands to the child.
“Come to your father,” he said.
Richard made no objections. It was a little shock to Hornblower to feel how tiny and light he was — Hornblower, years ago, had grown used to older children — but the feeling passed immediately.
“There, baby, there,” said Hornblower.
Richard wriggled in his arms, stretching out his hands to the shining gold fringe of his epaulette.
“Pretty?” asked Hornblower.
“Da!” said Richard, touching the threads of bullion.
“That’s a man!” said Hornblower.
His old skill with babies had not deserted him. Richard gurgled happily in his arms, smiled seraphically as he played with him, kicked his chest with tiny kicks through his dress. That good old trick of bowing the head and pretending to butt Richard in the stomach had its never-failing success. Richard gurgled and waved his arms in ecstasy.
“What a joke!” said Hornblower. “Oh, what a joke!”
Suddenly remembering, he looked round at Lady Barbara. She had eyes only for the baby, her serenity strangely exalted, her smile tender. He thought then that she was moved by her love for the child. Richard noticed her too.