He didn’t speak for a moment, plotting his opening so that if he’d misread her signals there wouldn’t be any embarrassment. He began by reassuring her once again that her father would soon be discharged. Then he discussed Mr. Campbell’s long-term care, and under the pretense of discussing his exercise limitations, Thomas brought up the issue of sex.
“Your father had asked me about this before the operation,” he said, watching Laura’s face. “I know that your mother passed away several years ago, and if this is an uncomfortable subject for you …”
“Not at all,” said Laura with a smile. “I am an adult.”
“Of course,” said Thomas, letting his eyes run over her dress. “That is very obvious.”
Laura smiled again and smoothed her long ponytail off her shoulder.
“A man like your father still has sexual needs,” said Thomas.
“As a physician I’m sure you know that better than most,” said Laura. She’d uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. It was clear she wasn’t wearing a bra under the sheer silk.
Thomas got up from his chair and came around in front of the desk. He was certain Laura hadn’t come to talk about her father. “I understand these needs all too well myself because I have a wife with a chronic, debilitating disease.”
Laura smiled. “As I said, I wish there was something I could do for you.” She stood up and leaned against Thomas. “Can you think of anything?” Thomas led her into the dimly lit examining room. Slowly he helped her out of her dress and then stepped out of his own clothes, folding them neatly on a chair. When he turned back to face her, he was pleased to find himself fully erect.
“What do you think?” he asked, with his palms spread out to the sides.
“I love it,” said Laura huskily, reaching out for him.
After having worried about driving, Cassi was glad that her trip home was pleasantly uneventful. The most hazardous part had been the walk from the garage to the house. She’d forgotten how early night came now that it was December.
The house itself was ominously black, particularly the windows, which shone like pieces of polished onyx. Inside Cassi found a note from Harriet explaining how to heat up dinner. Whenever Harriet got the word that Thomas was not coming home, she left early. As contrary as Harriet could be, Cassi would have preferred not to be alone.
She went through the house snapping on lights hoping to make the place a bit more cheerful. She found the rambling old house with its cavernous spaces particularly chilling, her footsteps echoing down the empty halls. The heat was supposed to be turned to sixty-five degrees, but Cassi could see her breath.
Upstairs the morning room was considerably warmer, almost comfortable. In the master bath she had a supplementary quartz heater, which she turned on. After testing her blood sugar, Cassi went ahead with her usual insulin dose, then took a shower.
She tried not to think too much. Her emotional outburst had left her drained and had settled nothing. She knew Joan was right about her dependency, and it reminded Cassi of the identification she’d felt with Maureen Kavenaugh. Just like her patient, Cassi felt hopeless, timid, and fearful. She wondered if she too lacked the ability to influence her life even when she understood her problem. Then in a flash of sudden horror, Cassi became aware of the power of her denial. One of the reasons she’d suspected that Thomas was abusing drugs was because of his pupils. So often of late they had been mere pinpoints, but Dexedrine caused dilated pupils! Other drugs caused small pupils. Other drugs that Cassi did not want to think about.
Cassi could feel perspiration appear on her palms. She did not know if it was from sudden terror or from her insulin. Praying that her fears were groundless, she forced herself down the hall to Thomas’s study. Flipping on the light, she stood there, her eyes recording all the details of the room. Against her will, she recalled the consequences of her previous visit, and she fought against the urge to flee.