Dickens, Charles – A Child’s History of England

fortune he might cram into his greasy pockets. Prince Charles – or

as his Sowship called him, Baby Charles – being now PRINCE OF

WALES, the old project of a marriage with the Spanish King’s

daughter had been revived for him; and as she could not marry a

Protestant without leave from the Pope, his Sowship himself

secretly and meanly wrote to his Infallibility, asking for it. The

negotiation for this Spanish marriage takes up a larger space in

great books, than you can imagine, but the upshot of it all is,

that when it had been held off by the Spanish Court for a long

time, Baby Charles and Steenie set off in disguise as Mr. Thomas

Smith and Mr. John Smith, to see the Spanish Princess; that Baby

Charles pretended to be desperately in love with her, and jumped

off walls to look at her, and made a considerable fool of himself

in a good many ways; that she was called Princess of Wales and that

the whole Spanish Court believed Baby Charles to be all but dying

for her sake, as he expressly told them he was; that Baby Charles

and Steenie came back to England, and were received with as much

rapture as if they had been a blessing to it; that Baby Charles had

actually fallen in love with HENRIETTA MARIA, the French King’s

sister, whom he had seen in Paris; that he thought it a wonderfully

fine and princely thing to have deceived the Spaniards, all

through; and that he openly said, with a chuckle, as soon as he was

safe and sound at home again, that the Spaniards were great fools

to have believed him.

Like most dishonest men, the Prince and the favourite complained

that the people whom they had deluded were dishonest. They made

such misrepresentations of the treachery of the Spaniards in this

business of the Spanish match, that the English nation became eager

for a war with them. Although the gravest Spaniards laughed at the

idea of his Sowship in a warlike attitude, the Parliament granted

money for the beginning of hostilities, and the treaties with Spain

were publicly declared to be at an end. The Spanish ambassador in

London – probably with the help of the fallen favourite, the Earl

of Somerset – being unable to obtain speech with his Sowship,

slipped a paper into his hand, declaring that he was a prisoner in

his own house, and was entirely governed by Buckingham and his

creatures. The first effect of this letter was that his Sowship

began to cry and whine, and took Baby Charles away from Steenie,

and went down to Windsor, gabbling all sorts of nonsense. The end

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Dickens, Charles – A Child’s History of England

of it was that his Sowship hugged his dog and slave, and said he

was quite satisfied.

He had given the Prince and the favourite almost unlimited power to

settle anything with the Pope as to the Spanish marriage; and he

now, with a view to the French one, signed a treaty that all Roman

Catholics in England should exercise their religion freely, and

should never be required to take any oath contrary thereto. In

return for this, and for other concessions much less to be

defended, Henrietta Maria was to become the Prince’s wife, and was

to bring him a fortune of eight hundred thousand crowns.

His Sowship’s eyes were getting red with eagerly looking for the

money, when the end of a gluttonous life came upon him; and, after

a fortnight’s illness, on Sunday the twenty-seventh of March, one

thousand six hundred and twenty-five, he died. He had reigned

twenty-two years, and was fifty-nine years old. I know of nothing

more abominable in history than the adulation that was lavished on

this King, and the vice and corruption that such a barefaced habit

of lying produced in his court. It is much to be doubted whether

one man of honour, and not utterly self-disgraced, kept his place

near James the First. Lord Bacon, that able and wise philosopher,

as the First Judge in the Kingdom in this reign, became a public

spectacle of dishonesty and corruption; and in his base flattery of

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