P G Wodehouse – Psmith Journalist

“When I saw him in Broadway having a heart-to-heart talk with our friend from Missouri.”

“He must be something of an expert at the game to have kept on our track.”

“Not on your life. It’s as easy as falling off a log. There are only certain places where you can get off an Elevated train. All he’d got to do was to get there before the train, and wait. I didn’t expect to dodge him by taking the Elevated. I just wanted to make certain of his game.”

The train pulled up at the Fourteenth Street station. In the roadway at the foot of the opposite staircase was a red taximeter cab.

CHAPTER XIII

REVIEWING THE SITUATION

Arriving at the bed-sitting-room, Billy proceeded to occupy the rocking-chair, and, as was his wont, began to rock himself rhythmically to and fro. Psmith seated himself gracefully on the couch-bed. There was a silence.

The events of the evening had been a revelation to Psmith. He had not realised before the extent of the ramifications of New York’s underworld. That members of the gangs should crop up in the Astor roof-garden and in gorgeous raiment in the middle of Broadway was a surprise. When Billy Windsor had mentioned the gangs, he had formed a mental picture of low-browed hooligans, keeping carefully to their own quarter of the town. This picture had been correct, as far as it went, but it had not gone far enough. The bulk of the gangs of New York are of the hooligan class, and are rarely met with outside their natural boundaries. But each gang has its more prosperous members; gentlemen, who, like the man of the Astor roof-garden, support life by more delicate and genteel methods than the rest. The main body rely for their incomes, except at election-time, on such primitive feats as robbing intoxicated pedestrians. The aristocracy of the gangs soar higher.

It was a considerable time before Billy spoke.

“Say,” he said, “this thing wants talking over.”

“By all means, Comrade Windsor.”

“It’s this way. There’s no doubt now that we’re up against a mighty big proposition.”

“Something of the sort would seem to be the case.”

“It’s like this. I’m going to see this through. It isn’t only that I want to do a bit of good to the poor cusses in those tenements, though I’d do it for that alone. But, as far as I’m concerned, there’s something to it besides that. If we win out, I’m going to get a job out of one of the big dailies. It’ll give me just the chance I need. See what I mean? Well, it’s different with you. I don’t see that it’s up to you to run the risk of getting yourself put out of business with a black-jack, and maybe shot. Once you get mixed up with the gangs there’s no saying what’s going to be doing. Well, I don’t see why you shouldn’t quit. All this has got nothing to do with you. You’re over here on a vacation. You haven’t got to make a living this side. You want to go about and have a good time, instead of getting mixed up with–”

He broke off.

“Well, that’s what I wanted to say, anyway,” he concluded.

Psmith looked at him reproachfully.

“Are you trying to sack me, Comrade Windsor?”

“How’s that?”

“In various treatises on ‘How to Succeed in Literature,'” said Psmith sadly, “which I have read from time to time, I have always found it stated that what the novice chiefly needed was an editor who believed in him. In you, Comrade Windsor, I fancied that I had found such an editor.”

“What’s all this about?” demanded Billy. “I’m making no kick about your work.”

“I gathered from your remarks that you were anxious to receive my resignation.”

“Well, I told you why. I didn’t want you be black-jacked.”

“Was that the only reason?”

“Sure.”

“Then all is well,” said Psmith, relieved. “For the moment I fancied that my literary talents had been weighed in the balance and adjudged below par. If that is all–why, these are the mere everyday risks of the young journalist’s life. Without them we should be dull and dissatisfied. Our work would lose its fire. Men such as ourselves, Comrade Windsor, need a certain stimulus, a certain fillip, if they are to keep up their high standards. The knowledge that a low-browed gentleman is waiting round the corner with a sand-bag poised in air will just supply that stimulus. Also that fillip. It will give our output precisely the edge it requires.”

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