Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“Losers and problem cases,” the colonel cut in. “Let’s call a spade a spade, Major. Where is it?”

“Haskin’s Planet, sir.”

“Haskin’s Planet?” The Battleax scowled. “I don’t believe I’m familiar with that one.”

“It’s name after the biologist who explored the swamp there prior to settlement,” Captain Joshua supplied helpfully.

“Oh yes. The contract with the swamp miners. So that’s the current dumping ground, eh?”

Humpty nodded curtly, relieved that the senior officer seemed to be taking the news so calmly.

“The CO … the commanding officer there has been consistently … lax in screening his transfers …”

“And in everything else, as I recall,” the colonel added grimly. “Lax … I like that. There may be a future for you in media relations, Major. Please continue.”

“Actually the situation may correct itself without Headquarters intervening,” the captain said, hoping to evade the stigma of having betrayed their fellow officers to Headquarters. “Scuttlebutt has it that the CO’s tour is over soon, and no one expects him to reenlist. A new CO will probably put a stop to things out of self-preservation.”

“Maybe … maybe not.”

“If you’re worried about reallocating the … problem cases,” the major put in hastily, “I’m sure normal attrition will-“

“I was thinking about our problem of sentencing Lieutenant Scaramouche,” the colonel interrupted dryly. “If you’ll recall, that is the subject of our discussion.”

“Yes … of course.” Humpty was relieved but surprised at the apparent change in subject.