Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“We hear that the governor’s decided to post a color guard on his office.”

The commanding officer cocked his head.

“This is the first I’ve heard of it, but I’ll check into it first thing tomorrow. Off the top, however, I don’t see any problem with it. It could make a nice break from swamp duty.”

“Umm … excuse me, sir?” Brandy drawled. “I don’t think you quite understand. Scuttlebutt has it that he’s invited Regular Army to perform that duty instead of us. They get to show off their pretty dress uniforms in town while we sit out in the swamp … same as always.”

A low growl rumbled though the assemblage. Phule noted it, as his lips compressed into a thin line of annoyance.

“We’ll see about that,” he said grimly. “All right. Anything else that won’t keep until tomorrow?”

He waited a moment, then nodded at the silence.

“Very well, then. The last note is that I want you all to assemble your personal gear and stand by to move out first thing in the morning. We’re going to be moving out of these quarters for a while.”

Scattered groans greeted this announcement. It sounded like the new CO was going to make them camp out while taking their measure.

“Why? Are you going to have the place fumigated?”

Phule seemed not to notice the snickers that answered the question which had been shouted anonymously.

“Actually I’m going to have the place remodeled,” he said casually. “In the meantime, we’re going to move into the Plaza Hotel in town.”

Thunderstruck silence followed his words. The Plaza was the ritziest, most expensive hotel on the planet. The few times that Legionnaires had attempted to stop in the cocktail lounge for a drink, they had been driven out by the prices and dress codes.