Phule’s Company by Robert Asprin

“Cut me off from what, Captain?” Harry challenged. “It wouldn’t break my heart to get transferred out, you know.”

“I’m not talking about a transfer.” Phule smiled. “I’d cut you off from your lessons. You see, C.H., right now you’re a small-time chiseler and hustler. Stick with me, play the game my way, and I’ll teach you to play in the big leagues, as well as show you how to build the kind of bankroll you’ll need for seed money once your enlistment’s up. Deal?”

“Have a seat, Brandy,” the commander said, waving his top sergeant into one of the visitor chairs. “Sorry to keep you waiting, but for various reasons I wanted to save your interview for last.”

“No problem, sir.” The ranking noncom shrugged, sinking into the indicated seat. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the military, it’s how to wait for officers.”

Phule ignored the blatant dig.

“Seeing as how it’s late, and we’re both tired, I’ll try to keep this short and to the point.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as if hugging himself. “Tell me, Brandy, in your opinion, what’s the biggest problem facing me in this company?”

The top sergeant widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows as she pursed her lips in a silent whistle.

“That’s a rough one,” she said, shifting her sprawl to a different position. “I really don’t know where to start. If you’ve got any smarts at all, you don’t need me to tell you this company’s the pits, from top to bottom, inside and out. As far as any one problem being bigger than the others …”