There were dozens of really good looking cowboys riding horses down the middle of the street. They were dressed to the nines in cowboy widow-bait clothes: snap button shirts, string ties, cowboy hats, tight, tight jeans, boots and jangling spurs. They tipped their hats at the men, threw tiny candy canes to the children, blew kisses to the ladies, all accompanied by grins and winks.
And there were a few cowgirls, as well—in particular Tante Lulu, Sylvie and Rachel in rodeo outfits with lots of fringe and tooled-leather boots. Charmaine hadn’t even known that they knew how to ride.
Following the ladies, carrying a huge banner between them, were Tee-John and Jimmy. The banner read “The Triple L Dude Ranch and Health Spa.”
René and his old band members from The Swamp Rats were playing rowdy Cajun music and singing, even as they rode their horses. Mixed in with the Cajun music was the old country and western hit “Mothers Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Love Cowboys.” Certainly appropriate.
Other hunk cowboys—and, yes, that was what they were—included Luc, Remy, Clarence and Linc. Unbelievable!
But then Charmaine saw the last cowboy riding up.
It was Raoul, and he’d never looked more devastatingly handsome in his life. Grim-faced and serious, unlike the other participants in this parade, Raoul clearly would rather be anywhere else than there, making a spectacle of himself… and her.
That was when Charmaine began to weep profusely.
He rode his horse right up in front of her, with all the other parade participants crowding the street behind him. Extending a hand to her, he asked, “Are you coming with me willingly, chère, or do I have to kidnap you?”
“You’re making a fool of yourself.”
“I know.”
“And you don’t mind?”
“No, I just love people pointing at me and giggling. I mind. But I’d do anything for you. Even make a horse’s ass of myself.”
“Well, I refuse to be an active participant in this… this spectacle.”
Meanwhile, The Swamp Rats had swung into the hokiest version of “The Cajun Cowboy,” a play on that old Glen Campbell hit “Rhinestone Cowboy.” Tante Lulu, Sylvie and Rachel had gotten down off their horses and were doing this she-bob kind of dance move to the beat of the music, like idiot back-up Motown singers.
Disgusted, Charmaine spun on her heels and started back into the shop.
To her surprise, Raoul was following after her. On his horse!
“If you bring that horse in here, I swear I will shoot you and the horse.” The horse looked as surprised as Raoul did. On those words, she stomped to the back of the spa, planning to hide herself in a closet or something till everyone left. Once again, I will be the talk of the town.
Raoul followed closely on Charmaine’s heels. No way was he going to let her get away without hearing him out, not after he’d let that crazy family of hers talk him into their scheme. They would all probably be arrested soon. At the very least, he’d seen the local news media out there with flashing cameras.
He caught up with Charmaine at the back of the shop. He grabbed her by the forearm and saw tears running down her face. Great! I go to all this trouble… to make her cry.
She squirmed, trying to get away from him.
He demanded, “Stand still. I have a few things to say to you. Then you can go home and bawl your eyes out.” Maybe I’ll go home and bawl, too.
Just then, he noticed a lot of customers and employees in the shop, gawking at them. And Tante Lulu, the old busybody, the instigator of this whole mess, was there, too.
He opened a door, figuring it was a storeroom or something, and proceeded to pull Charmaine in with him for a little private talk. When the heat hit him, he realized it was a sauna. Oh, well! He slammed the door after them, then heard a key turn in the lock.
Tante Lulu called out, “I’ll be back in an hour, Rusty. Do yer thing.”
What “thing”? I don’t have a “thing.”
Charmaine stared at him as if he’d gone mad, which he had. She tried the door, found it locked from the outside, said a bad word, then glared at him, as if he’d been the one to lock them in. He might have if he’d thought of it first. At least she wasn’t crying any more.