Remy and Rachel arrived next on his Harley. Every time she saw her half brother, Charmaine always marveled how godly handsome he was, but from only one side of his scarred face. Rachel, his new wife, had recently done a masterful job decorating one of Charmaine’s shops. The two of them had recently returned from their honeymoon and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, even as they got off Remy’s motorcycle.
That’s all I need. More lovey-dovey couples to make me feel bad.
“Hey, Charmaine,” Remy said. Then he swung her around in a big hug with her feet off the ground.
“Hi, Charmaine,” Rachel said, smiling at her husband’s antics. Rachel took two bottles of wine out of the leather side bags and offered them to her as their contribution to the feast.
“Go on to the backyard. Tante Lulu is enjoying her day as commander-in-chief,” she told them.
Remy and Rachel laughed with understanding Everyone knew that Tante Lulu loved being in charge of a family event.
Just before they left, Rachel remarked to Charmaine, “I heard that Tante Lulu brought Rusty a hope chest.”
“Yep,” she answered.
“Dead as a bayou catfish, that’s what Rusty is.” Remy laughed. “Once auntie delivers the hope chest, it’s a done deal.”
I only wish! Charmaine thought after they left, then immediately corrected herself. No, I don’t wish. After a pause, she added, Do I?
René and Tee-John were the last to arrive. Tante Lulu was going to be so surprised to see René, the middle brother. He was a Washington, D.C., environmental lobbyist for Louisiana fishermen. He rarely got home these days.
Tee-John, at fourteen, was looking just as good as all his brothers. While Luc, René, and Remy all shared the same mother, and of course the same father, Valcour LeDeux, Tee-John was the product of Valcour and his longtime common-law wife, Jolie, whom he’d married only four years ago. They, and Charmaine, weren’t the only products of Valcour’s virile seed, which he’d spread indiscriminately over the years. No one knew for sure exactly how many children he had.
“Did you bring your accordion?” she asked René after all the greetings were over. “We’re hoping for a little family entertainment tonight. You probably aren’t aware, but Rusty has some accomplished musicians here on the ranch. Linc is a wonderful classical guitarist, and Clarence plays a mean harmonica.”
“For sure. I never travel without my trusty accordion,” René replied. He used to play in a low-down Cajun band called The Swamp Rats, and could always be called on for some musical fun.
“Yuck! Accordions and harmonicas! You people ever heard of MTV? Get with the times,” Tee-John said and ducked as René leaned over to swat him upside the head.
René looked at Charmaine and winked. “Can you imagine the torture of riding in a closed vehicle with this character for more than an hour? Me, I mus’ be a saint.” In an overloud whispered aside, he informed her, “His latest question was what I thought about piercing a penis with an industrial-sized bolt. Talk about!”
“Well, geeshamighty, how’s a guy to know these things?” Tee-John whined with a devilish gleam in his dark Cajun eyes.
“A bolt in your too-too? The things men’ll do!” Charmaine pretended to shiver.
“Not this man,” René said, crossing his legs with exaggerated pain.
“Where did you hear about such a thing?” she asked Tee-John.
“Bourbon Street. There was this piercing shop, and the guy there even showed us his bolts. Awesome!”
“Tee-John, you have got to stay away from Bourbon Street. That is not real life there.” René was laughing as he spoke.
“Yeah, well, this guy says it feels great… all that extra weight there all the time. Plus, he said the women love it. Double the pleasure and all that good stuff. What do you think, Charmaine? You ever done it with a guy with a bolt?”
René was bent over at the waist, slapping his thighs with glee, now that Charmaine was the target of Tee-John’s curiosity.
And everyone thinks I’m a scandal for having my navel pierced. “No, Tee-John, I can’t say that I have. And take my advice. No… bolts.”