“Tee-John,” Tante Lulu cautioned.
He stood up again and blurted out, “I’m thankful it’s Thanksgiving and Tante Lulu won’t whomp me.” He grinned mischievously at her.
Jimmy stood and said, “Me too.”
After that, it was Fleur’s turn. She and Dirk had finally emerged from their tin cave about an hour ago, beaming in the afterglow of their seemingly nonstop lovemaking. Fleur was dressed to the gills today in her version of a cowgirl outfit. It involved lots of fringe around a décolletage that defied gravity and tight, tight jeans. Char-maine had no idea how her mother was going to fit any food inside her body without all the seams giving way.
A little bit ago, Dirk had apparently tried to start Fleur on a jogging regimen, but she soon discovered that jogging caused perspiration, or glowing. Southern girls did not sweat, they glowed. That was apparently unacceptable to Fleur, who’d declared that Dirk must find her a cellulite-removing exercise that didn’t cause glowing. Geesh!
Dirk made Charmaine a bit uncomfortable. When he wasn’t holed up with her mother, he watched her intently all the time. And he hung around like a shadow at every opportunity. It wasn’t as if he was interested in her, sexually. But he was interested, for some reason.
Now, Fleur stood before the assembled family and said, “I’m thankful to be with my little girl today.” She looked over at Charmaine and smiled in the most needy way.
“I think I’m going to puke,” Charmaine said under her breath.
“Don’t be so hard on your mother,” Rusty advised. He’d insisted on sitting next to her on the bench, way too close, and kept harping on wanting to talk to her.
Hah! “Don’t preach to me, buster, not when you have so many unresolved issues with your own mother.” Besides, I’d rather not talk to you at all, you… you jerk! Don’t come sniffing around me, you hound dog, not after you signed those divorce papers.
“I don’t have any unresolved—”
“Shut up!” Before I cry.
“Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair to me?”
Unfair? she shrieked silently. Unfair is God putting temptation in my lap, then telling me not to touch because it is all over. That was what she thought. What she said was, “Shut up before I hit you.”
The fool grinned as if she’d said she would kiss him. I didn’t, did I? Really, Charmaine couldn’t wait till this whole feast was over so she could crawl into bed and cover her head with the sheets. She did not want to think about what she’d seen earlier. Rusty had been signing some papers when she’d walked into the living room. Divorce papers, she was sure. Especially when he’d capped it off by giving her all that money.
Rusty elbowed her. “You’re daydreamm’, darlin’.”
She was going to say something vulgar to him, but stopped herself when she figured he would probably take it as a compliment and continue with that silly grinning.
Dirk the Jerk, dressed to the nines—not!—in a white wife beater T-shirt and black jogging shorts, had the nerve to say, “I’m thankful for all the women in the world with cellulite so that my business is booming this year.”
His words were met with communal boos and hisses from all the ladies and laughter from the men.
Clarence was thankful for his home at the Triple L and the good honest work provided there.
Linc glanced over at his brother, then at Tante Lulu. In a choked voice, he said, “I am thankful this year to have been given back a piece of my past.”
Charmaine stood, without prompting, knowing she couldn’t escape. “I’m thankful, too, that I still have my kneecaps. And I’m thankful to have such a warm, though often irritating, family. That’s all.” She plopped down with a huge sigh.
Rusty stood and cleared his throat. She knew how hard this kind of thing was for him, but, really, he was the host of this shindig, even if Tante Lulu had engineered it all.
“I’m thankful that you are all here today, sharing our food and goodwill. And this year I’m especially thankful for…” He paused, looked down at her as if unsure whether he should say what he was about to say, then shrugged his shoulders in a “What the hell!” manner and concluded, “… Charmaine.”